Chungking Express in Stapleton: A film and music blog

Blog done moved...

2006-06-27T15:38:00.000-04:00

...somewhere where people actually read it.

Go to WWW.Ohword.com for all new bloggy goodness. My articles are under the creative pseudonym of Sacha Orenstein.

Wired in Vancouver: 24 hours without sleep

2006-06-04T07:17:00.000-04:00

Author’s note: I think it best to warn a small minority of my readership (which is small in and of itself) which is ambiguous to my more wordy and shall we say “gonzo” style of writing that the following manuscript may go in that direction. Strange times require strange language and the previous few days out in Vancouver and the night which I’m currently experiencing certainly qualify as queer by any standard (pause). You have been warned, but I apologize for nothing.

12:27 AM…

Only, seven and a half more hours to go until I can get my ass on a Greyhound speeding towards Whitehorse and finally get some sleep. Thank god for the Asian infatuation with video gaming because without this 24 hour internet Café, I’d certainly be at a loss for how to spend the time. I have no intention of recapping the previous 72 hours of my life but some of the many events that took place during that time period include in a completely random order:

Seeing an extremely violent Australian western, purportedly going to a rave, bailing out of an agreement to sleep on a random woman’s floor after taking the piss out of her the entire night previous, failing to call a kiwi to party on Friday night, having my passport inspected and criticized by a liquor store cashier who sold me a bottle of Maudite, smoking in a park and unknowingly losing my cell phone, walking around town with a humorous Scotsman, having said Scotsman call my phone expecting to find it in my bag only to have what was described as a raccoon pick up in some undisclosed location, meeting said raccoon only to find out he’s an aged alcoholic who asked for a six pack in exchange for returning my lost property, a night with a Japanese girl, far too much Cannabis, hanging out in Posh apartments and swank beaches with Canadian rappers, a long period of research into the effects, risks, value and legal status of the Peruvian Torch Cactus, the second best natural source of mescaline in the world after Peyote, the completion of one collection of writings by a man who I’ll only refer to as The Good Doctor and the acquisition of vintage pornography.

I guess that wouldn’t impress too many people. Not enough sex to titillate the men and I’ve realized long ago that my interests rarely converge with that of the fairer sex. Nonetheless, I don’t think I can be blamed since Vancouver is a poor city for boozing in bars. St-Laurent alone probably contains more quality drinking establishments than this entire settlement. Sure, the dick-eating, coke snorting staff at Vice Magazine may try to convince its readers that opportunity abounds for those willing to brave the lawless streets of East Hastings, but that’s only because they’d be willing to suck semen for the kick of escaping their middle class suburban upbringing in a dirty bar populated by junkies coming down from their fix. No, Vancouver isn’t a city for nightlife: the place is too healthy, too hip for such a self-destructive act as imbibing a bottle of Vodka whole and fucking a random German or Aussie girl. Instead the locals lazily head to the beach at 3:00, eat at 7:00, catch a show and head home. Their insanely powerful marijuana, the best I’ve tasted, keeps them sedated and while their police have proven to be truly ineffective, they sure keep the whip cracked for public boozers.

Fuck. I just read that Shohei Imamura, one of my favorite directors of all time died a few days ago. I just wrote to Phil about it.

WTFMAN.

No man should have to hear about the death of one of his top 5 directors while homeless in Vancouver waiting for his bus to the Yukon on a 24 hour coffee binge.

R.I.P. Artists of his caliber are always truly missed, but this one hits me particularly hard. Hopefully more of his films will be distributed in the west now so people can appreciate his talent because as it stands he is severely underrated by people who gush over Mizoguci, Ozu, Kurosawa and even Naruse. What was misunderstood about a man who so passionately rejected the traditional view of Japan that these filmmakers strived for is that the far grittier, raw version of the country and its people he presented was as interesting a cinematic space ever created. Sad news indeed.

Some bastard spammed the hell out of my blog. I hope the f***** catches syphilis and dies. I’m mad, Imamura deserved far more fame than he received, although the two Cannes wins and the admiration of his own country far eclipse the lack of petty compliments of us western film critics.

Anyways, returning to the subject at hand, it’s 1:00 AM and I’m still in Vancouver, writing. The only sounds in the room are that of a first person shooter in the background: machine gun rounds going off and the disembodied voices of NPC’s speaking through walky-talkies. There’s also the occasional car racing through the streets of Yaletown. Hmm, I head street racing was a major problem around here; Harper was huffing and puffing about putting an end to it with his retarded crime bill. That moron just got 17 terror suspects in Toronto. Making a prediction as to how this’ll affect his poll ratings would be moot, it seems like the entire country is being lead down a road to hell by this pied piper and all of my bellyaching won’t stop it. It’s hard to blame them: as benign as the liberals were, they were still crooks and this country doesn’t take well to having their funds stolen, least of all when it involves French separatist politics. Speaking of my beloved ethnic group/culture/race/people, the idea that French women are hotter than the rest of the birds in Canada is as ludicrous as an Atlanta rapper. Nothing but a cruel hoax perpetuated by the whores and pimps of Montreal to lure unwitting Anglo tourists to town, rob them of their money and leave them with diseases. The fact is the very exoticism of the French language seems to turn descendants of the British Empire to mush, but as an objective observer, their faux-bohemian look has nothing on the sly Indy rock attitude of the women around here. It is extremely interesting to spy on them though; I caught a few commenting on me in the lunch room a few nights back and proceeded to make it known that their comments weren’t appreciated and that they were skanks of the lowest level who’d be lucky not to leave the province with a severe meth habit and bloody noses. Well, perhaps not in such words but the intent was there and the result was similarly shocking.

My high is wearing off, I don’t want to smoke anymore out of fear that it’ll knock me out. No, not until 3:00 AM at the earliest and preferably 5:00 AM. Even then, just a bowl at most, enough to give me some motivation in the final hours. Christ, it’s not even near then. I need to find something to entertain myself other than this article or you (the poor reader) will be subjected to every insane rambling thought that passes through my head early this Sunday morning. Yes, it’s Sunday now. It’s 4:20 in Montreal right now actually. An excellent reason to smoke but I’ll hold back. I need the current bowl to fade completely, hopefully along with that Sapporo I downed. Sobering up is no fun.

Here’s an interesting comment…

Beyoncé is too pretty to be doing all of this hard work. She should just be a model. Brittany, 19 Oklahoma City, OK

When I started this blog I wanted to dedicate a section to all the retarded bullshit spat out by lobotomized American kids at MTV.com. I really should have pursued that avenue and built the site into an internet brand like that guy who translates bad Asian tattoos. Lord knows there are enough stupid bitches (both male and female) in the tween to twenty category spewing out thoughts so frustratingly embarrassing that they’d rarely if ever be seen emanating out of the mind of even the basest of primates. The youth of America could never win in a war against the apes. For all of his insane right wing anger, Charlton Heston could at least be trusted in this situation unlike those kids. Hell, I just saw a fat 12 year old running around the mall today dressed (and acting) like Paris Hilton. It’ll be a brutal reality when she realizes that there’s no multimillion dollar trust fund in her name and no amount of surgery that’ll fix her up. Of course, she could get smart, exercise, study and find a good if low paying job but the odds are against it. And would it be really worth it anyways? Hilton is proof that hard work is shit compared with luck of the draw. The woman is talented at nothing but being an annoyance and somehow will make millions out of it because she was born with a publicist. A woman of similar character in any other situation would have probably ended up coked up and in the streets by now.

Whoa, Adult Swim just released a new Dangerdoom EP for free over the internet. This will definitely entertain me for 30 minutes or so. The intro is nice, would be better high but all I got next to me is a Starbucks drink. This whole cot damned city is addicted to cheap coffee in the worst way. The two most popular Starbucks’ in Canada are literally across from each other on the same street corner. You’d think they’d develop well…some taste and import stuff from France but no, the American chains somehow manage to attract otherwise left-leaning Vancouverites by the droves. I like this EP, it’s looser and funkier than the album which seemed lazy on Doom’s part and boring on Danger’s. It was still good, but this is better.

I’d rather write all night until the early show – MF Doom

1:49…I’ll earn myself another swig of coffee by 2:00. SHIT, there’s a giant picture of a corndog in this file. Never mind that…just concentrate on the music and the task at hand: staying awake for another 6 hours. Half a clock cycle. A quarter day. I am sofa king we todd ed. DJ Shadow’s album is apparently Hyphy and dancy which will either give the movement some credibility or sink DJ Shadow’s standing. I guess Pink Floyd did ok with Another brick in the wall but that doesn’t mean I think the people who did Darkside of the Moon would have succeeded at new-wave or hair metal and Shadow’s new direction is as ridiculous a shift in direction on paper. It’s sad that the man who was so vocal about the purity of art in 96 now finds himself going in the exact other direction. Honestly, I don’t doubt that he honestly likes what he’s doing now but it leaves cats like me with little hope that honest, un-dancy music will ever make a comeback. The alternative revolution of the early 90’s and the early promise of Hiphop’s first few decades show little influence over the funkless post-disco strut of what’s going on now. A few indy kids are doing some nice things but to be honest, good music is fleeing further and further underground.

It also occurs to me that I’m going to be hungry very soon. That pineapple chicken I had for supper wasn’t enough. Even if I leave here at 5:00ish I don’t think the McDonalds at the train station will be open and I hate eating that crap. It won’t be so bad if I smoke though.

Back to dance music and artistic compromise, the first DJ Premier produced Christina Aguilera track has hit the net and the results are…whoa, actually nice! Premo has NOT gone the Shadow root and instead stays very true to his gritty roots. In fact, he actually goes back…way back with this one, delivering a mix between a Stax stomper and a breakbeat record. As for Christina, well she’s always had a voice and thankfully the record forgoes the sluttiness of her last attempt. The whole thing comes off as a tribute to Motown with a little Marley Marl thrown in which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned. If Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy is this year’s Feel Good Inc this could easily act as a suitable follow up to Amerie’s One thing. I guess I shouldn’t complain about music too quickly, I may just hear something I like from unusual places. Then again, I should have trusted DJ Premier from the get go: he’s always delivered when paired with the right vocalist and he’s always handled left-of-center assignments with creativity and innovation.

Three hoes just walked in. I mean, they’re literally whores. They bought a pepsi and left. Nothing strange here apparently, I guess that not many places are actually open at this time of night. Now I’ve got some dusty Large Pro beats going on from his instrumental album, just catching up on some of the music I’ve missed in the past few months on Spine. I like these, perfect for the late night atmosphere. The other good news is that I’m officially at the half-way mark of my internet time.

Sadly, I’m not even remotely near 8:00 AM. Maybe I should stay here until 6 instead of 5. The extra hour would mean less waiting around at the station. I’ll decide later, what I really need to do is think of something else to type. I wonder what the hell my friends from MTL are doing. Hong apparently won something at Concordia and has proven that Chris Doyle is indeed the drunken lush that the rumors say he is. Phil is probably dealing with some god forsaken Chinese wedding assignment by now, I must remember to call that sumbitch once I get to Dawson City, preferably at some obscene time of night drunk with a dead man’s toe in my drink for good measure. As for Stephane, no blog updates since the Indonesia Earthquake. Considering he was going to Asia for charity work, it wouldn’t surprise me if the crazy mufucka actually flew to Jakarta to make his way to the disaster zone. Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit and he’s on a beach sipping drinks with some transsexual Thai prostitute. Either way he’ll have a strong case for a libel suit should he pursue it should I ever publish this (which I will, I don’t spend 5 hours typing on a god forsaken morning for naught). I’d keep shooting outlandish hypotheses on the actions of my acquaintances but it’s probably bad for my relationships so I’ll stick to the 3 least offendable ones.

J-Dilla’s beat on the new Busta Rhymes album is off the HOOK. Q-Tip and Busta over Dilla? I don’t care what anyone says, the results are going to be that hot fire. This sounds like it could have come out exactly 10 years ago and that’s nothing but goodness. Sadat X has a new J-Zone produced record but by now it’s just sound coming in my ear, too tired to really be critical, all of this is too random. Raekwon and Busta Rhymes collaboration from Busta’s album is nice too. Produced by Erick Sermon and Dr Dre…nicer than recent typical Dre. Kinda laid back but with that dark live piano that typifies his post George Clinton sound. Some nice synth flourishes on the hook too. This column is turning into a disjointed record review. Some spastic girl is at the next computer but I may have to remove this if she tries to talk to me and I have to explain my frantic typing. Why the hell won’t she stop moving? Insanity’s getting the best of me now. Getting reeeal genuinely late with no proper excuse to not have been asleep since 8:00 AM yesterday. 24 hours without sleep is not a fun prospect. Jack Bauer makes it look easy. Then again, Jack Bauer can kill terrorists with his bare hands so a little insomnia probably wouldn’t stop him. Now Busta Rhymes is rapping with Stevie Wonder and this song is good too…I think Dr Dre must have made a pact with the devil because there’s no other explanation for him pulling out this kind of album out of Busta or The Game.

FUCK. Money is much worse than I thought…what did I spend my cash on today that would warrant such a ridiculous expenses…40$ minus five bucks at dinner, ten bucks at the movies, nine bucks internet and a coffee…another 4 dollars for extending the internet…there should be more left. Something’s not adding up, probably with the small change. Ah yeah…the red bull(shit). I saved 32$ by not getting a hostel bed though so I guess I’m technically still on budget…and technically we’re not even Saturday anymore. The bathroom in the place stinks, ah well…it’s better than being out in the streets of Amsterdam lemme tell ya, THAT place sucked. E-concordia refuses to recognize me as a student, I need to go to the real site to try and figure out my grades…straight A’s, Peter actually gave me my lowest grade of the year in action cinema (I think) which kind of hurts because I genuinely liked the paper I gave him. Ironically, I’m in the top 6 people in Chinese History but at LEAST a few people beat me in every other subject including FFAR which is total bullshit considering how much I sucked up to that teacher (wouldasuckedondemtittaysifIhadthechance). Anyways, everyone knows I’m going to leave that University with a worthless diploma anyways so this is meaningless. AND WHY IS THAT GIRL MOVING SO DAMN MUCH. This ain’t no disco. Almost 3:30…I don’t get her presence, there’s no excuse for a grinning girl in club wear to be constantly jittering at a computer at this time of night. 3000 words done too…quite an accomplishment. I may even stave off fatigue by staying around here…once I leave out into the real world though…

Oh god, fatigue just hit…it’s 3:28 NOW and I got 4:30 hours to go before I can sleep, 4 if they let me on early and I crash instantly. Shit, what the hell man, I really can’t afford this now. I need to heightened boost of adrenaline or something. Anything less could spell absolute doom. Just focus, keep your eyes awake and your mind on something. Turn on some music again, wasn’t there a new Rae song that leaked? I haven’t heard that yet. Aaaaaaaah…yeah. Raekwon is god again and there’s no one happier than I am. My favorite album is getting a sequel and even if this is a little more laidback than the intense cocaine paranoia last time around, it’s still flyer than anything else I’ve heard recently except OTHER songs that feature Rae. Damn, it’s only a snippet. I’m reading Shadow’s blog now… it’s really weird…a lot of people are going to be pissed and I don’t want to sound like a sour bastard but I’m going to include myself in that category. Then again, I’ll probably start off by hating it and move on to liking it eventually. Hell, maybe Shadow will even become the next Lil Jon. What a strange affair that would be. Weird, the guy must be in his thirties but he sounds like the nerd who got a new haircut and suddenly fits in with the cool kids in highschool. Then again considering the amount of depression dude was apparently going through, maybe he deserves his fun. The following quote is still hilarious though.

Long live the backlash bitches! – DJ Shadow (?!?!!?)

5 to 4:00…eyes starting to hurt. I may take some aspirin. I’ll stay till 5:15 or 5:30…whenever this internet croaks out on me. I’m not paying the guy in front another cent though.

The Roots have a new single out. It sounds better than anything I’ve heard from them recently. It’s not Clones but it’s probably as close as they’re going to come to it this millennium.

I think I should publish this as is and just update it. Just in case something goes haywire…damn I forgot to do it though, after this article.

HOLY SHIZZLE. This FULL new Rae song has got me bugging. This Rza shit reminds me of that RAGU song that Pete Rock did on Ghost's album except that Rae's flow is even iller. None of that sleepy shit, full on energetic crazy chorus spittin Rae.

Ok, I just published this mutherfucker. I’ll just keep on updating it from now on and add it to my MSN space at the end. It’s not like anyone’s going to read this far anyways. Impossible. If they did they might call the police or something. Officer help! This crazy man is headed towards the Yukon, I think he may be CRAZY. 4:30 now, only one hour until I gotta leave.

Sun ain’t up but its ever so slightly less dark…

I’m really really hungry. There better be some food at that station. And no junkies on the way. Vancouver is full of junkies. I meant to talk about them but I’m too tired to do it now. Some random guy on a bike tried to GIVE me weed today. That’s how saturated this place is. 10 minutes till 5:00…

Alright, it’s 5:00, I’m going to quick writing. Such a let down conclusion. I wonder if people expected some grand revelation at the end of a tired man’s exercise in sanity. Probably not. Either way, I’m catching a bus to the Yukon in 3 hours and I’ll finally get some sleep. And you can bet I’ll be having breakfast and probably some weed before then. Getting light out there now…Time to finish up on the internet, insanity must really be kicking in since I just started randomly googling the names of girls I’ve been associated with to see what comes up. That’s a bad sign.

Beat the Clock in Whistler

2006-05-28T17:44:00.000-04:00

Internet is expensive in Whistler. must type fast.

In fact, everything is despite the fact that I got me a private room with den in the best hostel I've seen for only 25$ a night. I've been having a damn good time hiking, drinking and smoking up here, generally living the life on my own. As some of you may know, my compadre (aka: US enemy #1) has gone back to the safe confines of Montreal leaving me to troll around until next sunday when I depart to the great expanses of the Yukon. I've been spending the time reading (Hunter S Thomson), writing (a great idea for a feature that I'll never make without Hollywood money) and causing general chaos amidst the population. The family run place where I'm staying with is definitely an awesome hostel with plenty of Ausies, Kiwis, South-Koreans and more to have fun with plus the cutest little 2 year old kid who goes nuts for Telus commercials with Parots.

Next week is back to Vancouver to stock up on assorted substances, do some laundry and maybe figure out a cheap way to get to Tofino for a couple of days. I'll write if I get a chance.

I'm not quite dead yet! - Monty Pithon

2006-05-21T12:17:00.000-04:00

NO, Homeland security didn't abduct me and send me to Gitmo after that last post, I've just been enjoying my vacation throughout Canada. Toronto was great: got to visit their wide variety of eateries and meet the legendary Mindbender, overlord of the Toronto Rap scene. I got a whole bunch of mainstream Chinese DVDs in Pacific mall and generally had a good time. Fun city, even if it lacked a bit in terms of culture. At least it made up for it in with a truly multicultural environment (authentic Jerk Chicken=good).

After a strenuous three day bus ride through Canada including the hostile North of Ontario, the looooooooonnnng plains and the magnificent Rockies, we were in Vancouver. Phil didn't take to the trip quite as much as I did and won't be repeating it the other way back. Oh well. Van-City is officially the place in Canada I want to move whenever all of this crazy school/teaching/travelling business is done. Laid back locals, the best weed I've ever smoked, a TON of coffee and 10$ Sushi that's actually VERY good. Oh, and it has'nt rained yet, all the junkies are on Skid Row and out of the way and I saw more Chinese people in Toronto. Even the rent wasn't THAT bad so this is clearly a trap to keep us away. Lots to do in the city as we went to Stanley Park (incredible), Wreck Beach (Clothing optional+hot college girls=yay!), record stores, the Marijuana Party store, a movie (Art School confidential) and tons of pubs. The hostel we were at also had the best breakfast I've had in years for the low low price of nothing.

Since then, we've been to Victoria (slightly odd...) and Nanaimo (small but this hostel is a lot of fun). Phil is heading back to Montreal by plane next week whereas I'll be hanging around here for another 2 weeks until June 3rd. What's on June third? My bus ticket to the Yukon opens up and I get to head there and back for the truly adventurous part of this trip! I'm looking forward to it so much I kind of dread loitering around Kelowna valley until then, but whatever, it should be all in good fun. Once I'm back from the Yukon (think June 11-14ish), I'll take a day or 2 to recover from all the bussing (ugh. long) and with fully stocked supplies I'll head back to our fair city of Montreal and make plans for St-Jean (Quebec City anyone?), Fantasia (beer anyone?) and August (either Eastern Canada or a job depending on my wallet).

And so goes life on the road. Leave comments if you read this since I'm wondering how you're all doing.

FUCK Homeland security.

2006-05-06T19:48:00.000-04:00

Note: the following is a rough copy of an on going novella of which much will be hand written and then transcribed to this blog. All events depicted are full of truthiness but should be considered fiction unless otherwise mentioned.

CHAOS.

That’s what it must have looked like to the casual observer as I raced down the gates of Montreal’s Dorval International Airport in a frenzied attempt to get my compatriot Philip *** out of American customs and onto his scheduled flight to Los Angeles. I was extremely nervous when I saw US border agents lead him into a small room for questioning while I was sent on my way. “Can I wait for my friend?” I asked a skinny be-speckled immigration cop, the kind that was too frail for actual work and was reduced to rubber stamping Canadians on their trips to Florida rather than accomplishing anything productive in life. The answer was obviously no and I was sent on my way past customs towards my flight without any knowledge of the well being of the only other person I needed to take care of. Miraculously, I managed to establish contact via cell phone 10 minutes later: Phil had been taken to a room with 2 Arab men and an old confused Chinese lady and hadn’t moved an inch. I was worried but also confidant: surely we were upstanding citizens, students of the arts that wanted to patronize their country and contribute to its economic viability. I saw no reason why they’d deny him access and the grilling was probably the result of some unlucky quota of foreign people whom the tough on crime pigs in Washington decided to grill in an attempt to appease the hawkish gas guzzling imperialists into a lull of imaginary safety and very real fear. Sadly I was wrong.

The trip had begun relatively well several hours ago. After completing a final examination on Chairman Mao’s victory in China over the Nationalist GMD government, I headed home in a hurry to find Phil had already arrived and was packed and ready for departure. After some careful planning and packing, things were declared ready for the morning and we rolled a cigarette sized joint in an effort to get to sleep. All preparations had been taken and a few hours later at the ungodly time of 6 AM we got up and made our way to the airport. At the Air Canada booth, no attendants made any sign that anything was wrong and we were told to proceed to US customs as was usual for travelers headed to the United States. Now my views on the Imperial Republican Nation are well known and my hatred for their domination of world affairs is legendary, but it should be said that I do not hold a large part of its ordinary citizens responsible for this as clearly they have been hijacked by the same madmen who are ruining the world as we speak. These US agents were however, clearly the profiteers of the US agenda of fear, using it to latch on to their cushy government jobs while making a mockery of the idea of small government. Shortly into the interview, my friend became incommunicado as they restricted his ability to speak to any form of representation as they asked him a series of unrelated and odd questions: had he ever had trouble at the border? What school was he from? What was the exact address he was staying at in the US? For a country advertising itself as the land of the free, I doubt anyone could have faced more strenuous interrogation in a 1 party communist dictatorship. Ultimately, after 20 minutes of anxiously sipping an orange juice and playing around with the processed garbage I’d bought for breakfast (fuck Burger King), I managed to reach Phil who greeted me with some strikingly bad news:

“I was denied entry to the US by immigration on account of low funds in my account. And they got my citizenship wrong.”

“WHAT!?”

“They say if you vouch for me with your bank statement they’ll let me through.”

From there, my worldview was reduced to chaos.

I ran frantically in an effort to backtrack through US customs only to be met with snarling agents uninterested in seeing me through. Apparently there was no back-rushing the border, an understandable scenario but one that didn’t help me at the time since it involved me running another 500 meter dash in the opposite direction. When I arrived at my gate, I was told there was no chance in hell I’d ever make the plane with Phil and my current options were to take it alone or to get my baggage off the plane and take care of the ensuing ramifications. I thought about it for a minute contacting anyone who I believed might help in such a situation but this was definitely a question to be taken with my gut, not my mind.

“Get my bags off the plane! I can’t make this flight with him!” I yelled in a way that frightened nearby passengers wondering who the unruly Canadian demanding his things were. The flight attendants in charge were sympathetic to my cause but it they made it known that nothing could be done immediately and I’d have to wait until they got my luggage before I could get through Canadian customs and enter a sensible country. Twenty minutes later I did just that and as I chatted with the woman escorting me back to Canadian soil, I was made aware that this was probably a case of an overzealous prick having a bad day and taking it out on a random Asian person. I was not only furious but also incredibly disillusioned about visiting America. They didn’t deserve my money! I vowed not to get another flight on the same day only to repeat the frustrating experience but rather to rearrange my plans and head west on Canadian soil surrounded by peoples who respect both the rule of the law AND values of common courtesy and decency. By the time I made it back to Philip through a series of agents and officials, a pattern became clear: every Canadian was sympathetic and bemused at the sheer randomness of the situation while every American was a growling, bloodthirsty dog of war wanting only the word to throttle us in the name of their crumbling empire. Reunited with Phil, we had our tickets fully credited (baring a slight indemnity) and the arranged to have the money put in a file valid for flights within a year. From then, it was a question of returning home to plan a trip to Toronto to be taken later that night. We had been stopped at the border by overzealous pricks but this would not stop our departure, rather, we’d make our move west directly and avoid any contact with the barbarian scum that lay to the south. Ultimately, our goal was north to the Yukon and any detour to our southern neighbor was simply to enjoy their weather, NOT their culture or lack of it. If anything, we both learned something that day: we saw first hand how the paranoid insecurity of a nation of millions could lead to the slow but steady social isolation of an entire people. Certainly within my lifetime, that country would collapse under its own weight. And if not that, under the weight of its Mexican immigrants, the very ones who jumped the border while the pig in Montreal interrogated my friend on his place of birth.

See y’all

2006-05-05T16:22:00.000-04:00

This will be my last blog post from Montreal for a couple months as I’ll be hitting up the West Coast until early July with Siu Fung. Expect beer, weed and shrooms to be consumed (in Canada for the last two mind you) and much chaos to ensue as we work our way up from San Diego California to the frigid north of the Yukon. Shit will be real

Good Experimentation, Bad Experimentation

2006-05-03T16:17:00.000-04:00

I gotta admit, I’m addicted to XXL’s blogs. Sure I hate what they have to say but like rap Rush Limbaugh’s they know how to maintain their audience. Recently Bol decided to take a couple of shots at a couple of ambitious is terrible rap records that veered to the left. Fair enough, but ultimately a little easy. So here are 5 absolute experimental duds that fail because they’re all out WACK (not because of rap reviewer’s fear of a singing planet) and 5 records that actually do succeed at whatever the hell they were trying to do.

Terrible rap that tried to do it different.

5) Foreign Exchange – Connected
J-Dilla may have brought in lazy offbeat handclaps but at least he had the good sense to give them room to breathe in order to create a sparse sound for his collaborators to rap on.. These guys took those same drums and overloaded the rest of the tracks with cheesy synths and whining vocals about how life is tough when you’re a responsible underground rapper with bills to pay. If ever an album defined middle-of-the-road-alterna-rap, this is it.

4) Dangermouse and Jay-Z – The Grey album
If we’re going to diss a Dangermouse album, let it be this shitty claim to fame which senselessly mashes up 2 albums based on album titles alone. His glitchy take on Dirt off your shoulder is cool, but the rest resulted in terribly cliché irony which inspired half a dozen more of these things. Stick to The Gorillaz and singing rappers.

3) K-OS – Joyful rebellion
Canada’s best selling rapper isn’t much of a rapper at all and his half-baked Wyclef imitation really ain’t that special either. I think my metal head little brother defined it best when he mentioned that this is one of the few rappers he enjoys: this is clearly rap for rap haters.

2) Cage – Hell’s Winter
I could have picked a number of Def Jux releases here seeing as the quality of their output took a stupendous drop sometime around 2003, but this highly disappointing follow up from Cage continues to be my favorite personal punching bag as the former master of Kubrick-hop jumped on the My Chemical Romance bandwagon and gheyed up his entire career. For shame.

1) The Roots – Phrenology/The Tipping point
Rap Jam Bands get no love. Sure Illadelph Halflife and Things fall apart were dope and they’re mighty good at being Jay-Z’s backing band, but the last two albums managed to be both alienating experimental flops and disastrous crossover attempts at once. They’re Rap’s Grateful Dead… because they’ll never capture their live show in the studio.

Dope rap that will have you going WTF

5) Edan – Beauty and the Beat
The sixties and early seventies made the best rock music. The eighties made the best rap music. Combine the two with one of the few white rappers who doesn’t make your ears bleed and you get a fantastic, bizarre free association of Sp12 beats and crazy drug influenced melodies. Awesome dude.

4) Kool Keith – Dr Octagon
Sure he’s coasting on it 10 years later since nearly all of his subsequent releases have been terribly confounding treaties on doodoo and Outkast biting him, but once upon a time Kool Keith bounced back from the Ultramag breakup to record a classic record about a space age gynecologist. Entirely produced by Dan the Automator and with scratches by DJ Q-Bert, this thing is as nerdy as rap gets and its still doper than anything involving the word trap. Quite an achievement.

3) The Pharcyde – Bizarre Ride to the Pharcyde
Before their Dilla assisted re-up, these guys unleashed a weird funhouse record full of Public Enemy spoofs, your mama jokes, Hendrix loops and all around goofiness. While they later joined De La Soul in becoming crusty old coots (they named their album plain rap for god’s sake!), this is one for the ages.

2) Wu-Tang Clan – Wu-Tang Forever
Wu-Tang were on the verge of prog-rap with this one. There’s no other way to explain a double disc rap album about 5% ideology combined with Kung-fu samples, no hooks and a dark depressing vibe that could kill any dancefloor in seconds. In retrospect, it’s a miracle that this record sold anything at all and the Wu-Tang downfall was pretty much inevitable. Still, one has got to admire the balls it took to actually record something so insular only to have it go platinum in a week. Best performances go to Rae and Ghost for their back and forth banter on MGM Grand.

1) Outkast – Aquemini/Stankonia
The ultimate experimental rappers, at least until their last record. Aquemini featured live instrumentation, singing (Liberation is probably the best song by rappers without any rapping), a running theme about technology killing the environment and some of the best rap performances ever put to record. Stankonia meanwhile put the gloom and doom aside in favor of a funky pimp record with drum and bass beats, spaghetti western guitars and Andre-as-Quasimoto rapping. These two records are proof that we need a strong reunited Outkast.

snitch on a stoner, make 50$

2006-05-02T10:42:00.000-04:00

See, this stuff is exactly why I won’t be smoking any/much weed in the US of A and why I believe that country to be an imperialistic bastion of rule crazy fear-mongering cops unseen since the fall of the Iron curtain. There’s a twisted big brother aspect to filming peaceful civil disobedience to punish people later when they can’t defend themselves instead of having the balls to stop it straight out. Surreptitious indeed.

The top 3 things that have kept me from blogging recently

2006-05-01T10:24:00.000-04:00

Been busy, hasn’t been writing. I’m sure everyone’s all saddened about it. The truth is I’m leaving for 2 months this Saturday and while I plan to write extensively during my second annual Holiday, most of it will be on primitive media such as paper. I’ll put a major post announcing my destination and route within the week, but until then here’s what I’ve been feeling recently.

3) Brick, Inside Man: Two excellent Hollywood movies that deserve your dollar at the box office. Newcomer Rian Johnson directs his like a classic film noir but wisely makes the most of the highschool milieu by adding just enough quirks so that the whole thing feels real and becomes more than a simple style exercise. Spike Lee meanwhile delivers his most focused and noteworthy film since The 25th Hour with an excellent heist caper which entertains from beginning to end. If you haven’t, go see them.

2) Dragonforce: I never thought I’d get into power metal, but I downloaded their debut Valley Of The Damned on a whim and fell in love with their combination of virtuosity and over the top execution to pl. The attitude is key here: everyone knows that this stuff is over the top but instead of just acting ironic about it like every other group of Pitchforkesque retro douchebags, Dragonforce actually have the balls ay it straight and let the laughs come naturally instead of getting all cool about it. These guys are fun, talented and way more original than half of these hipster bands out there. Plus according to my brother they’re swell people and put on a hell of a good show.

1) My attempt to make peace with the 80’s: No, I haven’t started listening to Duran Duran, Whitesnake, Madonna or any of the other stuff I hate with a passion, but my collection of 80’s music has grown by leaps and bounds recently. All things considered, the alternative movement that made the 90’s so great started Underground back in the decade of decadence and while the radio fare may be musical diarrhea, there’s more than enough gems hidden just bellow the surface. A recent sampling: The Violent Femmes, Cocteau Twins, Tom Waits, The Stone Roses, Sade, The Police. A weird lineup for certain but what the hell.

Mobb Deep – Blood Money review (it sucks.)

2006-04-20T12:13:00.000-04:00

There comes a time in a recording artist’s career when they need to reassess exactly what the hell they’re doing. Maybe their sound is hopelessly out of date. On the contrary, perhaps they tried to update their style and the results were laughable. Maybe their lyrics or vocals have gone downhill from years of use and abuse leaving them shells of their former glory. Or perhaps unwise associations and poor records have reduced their hardcore fan base to the bare minimum leaving zero interest in their releases. In Mobb Deep’s case, it’s pretty much all of the above as they continue the trend of releasing another record worse than their last with the laughable yet tragic Blood Money.

In the interest of fairness, there are a few songs on Blood Money that manage to be mildly entertaining on account of the production. Speakin so Freely, Pearly Gates, day dreamin, the album highlight It’s Alright and a few others feature dope beats that should find a happy home on a Clipse or Juelz Santana mixtape. Unfortunately, they all involve absolutely forgettable performances from the Mobb who seem ill suited for the glossy thug-chick style. The throwaway nature of the lyrics is the saddest aspect of the album: where 1995’s The Infamous featured an insular QB-centric worldview, presenting the two young killers as the protagonists of a kill-or-be-killed reality, Blood Money finds two lazy assembly line thugs acting like b-grade security in Emperor Fiddy’s posse. They stumble and mumble through thug-clichés, never presenting an original idea and never trying to raise the bar beyond the lowest common denominator. It’s depressing really, Prodigy used to be one of New York’s most admirable lyricists and Havoc’s individual style built on Q-Tip’s jazz to form the stark sounds of the drug addled streets. Now the album’s single remotely interesting line (We don’t give a fuck about that religious Bullshit) is censored and half the beats were chosen by executive producer Curtis Jackson. So much for lyricism and integrity.

It doesn’t help matters that despite the few highlights, the majority of the beats are boring examples of the factory-clean G-Unit sound. Backstage Pass sounds like a ripoff of 2002’s What happened to that boy, Stole Something features one of the most annoying sonic-elements of recent memory and Give it to me and Click Click are laughably contrived and melodramatic respectively. Perhaps a few of these could have found homes with more suitable artists, but hearing Havoc, Prodigy and their direct descendants mumble over these keyboard stabs will inspire guaranteed laughter rather than the intended emotion and leave anyone with sense wondering just how did things get this bad for the Emo-b-b. (Shitty pun intended).

Ultimately, even when Havoc and “Capital P” find modern production that meshes with their style, their tired, repetitive lyrics usually sink the songs. A judicious fan could probably pull 6 or 7 of his favorites off of here and get a decent if lyrically lacking EP, but interlaced with half an album’s worth of filler, it hardly seems worth it. Ironically, while internet critics frowned on 50 Cent’s involvement, Mr. G-Unit hardly ruins the project, acting reverent and playing the back even on his numerous guest verses. Sure he picked some awful tracks, but that’s expected and it’s not as if anyone had the backbone to speak up against them. No, the blame for this album lands squarely on Mobb Deep’s shoulders: poor rapping, sycophantic crew shout outs, lazy lyrics and a general sense that these guys have been reduced to b-team members in the yawn inspiring machine that is Interscope. Mobb Deep aren’t threatening anymore; they’re diminutive 30 year old art school dropouts who got jobs as paid backup for rap’s unclothed emperor. Time to put up the mic guys.

Gnarls Barkley: St-Elsewhere review

2006-04-14T14:46:00.000-04:00

In the internet-approved pastime of categorizing artists into genres, people might have jumped the gun on Dangermouse. Turning heads with mid 90’s merger casualty Jemini on Lex records, critics were quick to lump him with the indie-rap crowd, a notion reinforced once his work with Prince Po and his Jay-Z/Beatles mashup hit the net. Luckily that last record blew up his spot and earned him production duties with The Gorillaz, resulting in the 05’s single best pop record and breaking him away from the increasingly stale realm of minor-label rap towards artists more suited to his alt-pop stylings. Enter Cee-Lo Green and Gnarls Barkley.

While DM’s work with straight ahead emcees has never been all that impressive and his Jay-Z and MF Doom projects turned out to be all hype, few producers can do more with the thin line between pop and rap than the mouse. Beginning where Demon Days ended, St-Elsewhere blends Hiphop rhythm with pure pop melody giving Cee-Lo’s expressive yelps the perfect home. Fans that saw the potential in Mr. Green’s interesting yet unfocused solo work can breathe a sigh of relief as the tight 40 minute excursion finally delivers on the soul man’s pop promise with a batch of big, hooky songs that defy practically every trend above the radar. While the RIAA continues to whine about people downloading and the labels keep pumping out vapid idol-music that doesn’t connect to anyone with an IQ higher than 12, Gnarls Barkley deliver songs about love, loss, loneliness, proper karmic balance, necrophilia, suicide, transformers and dancing. No wonder the record kicks ass.

Of course, it’s not perfect: the beat on Boogie Monster is another one of the DM-does-Dr-Dre space funk pastiches that ruined Dangerdoom and the misguided Violent Femmes cover Gone Daddy Gone lacks the punchy production truly needed to rock, but as a whole the record is a shockingly confident and refreshing affair. Without a Daman Albarn sized budget, DM wisely goes the lap-pop route giving Cee-Lo backing tracks closer to fellow Georgia popsters Of Montreal than anything MTV approved. The singles Crazy and Smiley Faces are propulsive summer jams, Feng Shui and Transformer poopoo on the notion that 2005 rap has to be drug related and songs like St-Elsewhere, Who cares and On-line just groove. For his part, Cee-Lo goes the extra-mile to add the pysch to psychedelic-soul with insular personal topics missing from the new-millennium booty-shake landscape. With introspective cryptic lyrics out of vogue in today’s landscape, it’s a testament to those in charge that the album never sounds like anything less than a jubilant pop album, balancing the somber content with over the top beats.

While it may not be the best record these guys ever made (Gorillaz and Goodie Mob in case you were wondering), it’s certainly their most fun, accessible and head-turnign, hopefully helping to bridge the gap between meaningful quirkiness and dance-floor ready hedonism. Cee-Lo has a bunch of projects on tap with strip-club maestro Jazzy Pha and funksters Plantlife, but hopefully we can get another one of these Gnarls Barkley records, because as much as the world needs booty club music, it needs whatever the hell this is even more. Rock on.

Some quick reviews

2006-04-13T10:55:00.000-04:00

T.I – King

T.I’s on the receiving end of a whole heap of buzz for King and it’s pretty easy to see why. The record’s a big boastful sonovabitch that just screams I’m an important rapper. Coming off somewhere between a Vol1 and a Vol2 on the Jigga scale, Tip manages to balance commercial aspirations and the hardcore material pretty deftly. While I’m not really a fan of rappers with overly exaggerated drawl (whitey can’t understand shit! But at least I’ll admit to it) the self proclaimed King of the south has got a quality vocal presence and he switches up his flow lovely on a couple of tracks, making as good a claim for the “best-southern rapper” title as anyone else. Highlights include the berserk synth-based single What you know, the clever house-n-tribe flip of Why you wanna, the couple of Just Blaze and Swizz bangers and the UGK tribute front-back. It drags on a little too long and there’s some generic material thrown in the midst but if I have to chose between Tip’s swagger and Jeezy’s ignant adlibbing for current go-to southerner, I’ll take T.I.

Dudley Perkins – Expressions 2012 AU

I’m sorry to say it, but Dudley is a Madlib vehicle no more no less. Which is kind of sad considering the amount of vocalists that could benefit from Mad’s beats and who’d do them better than Declaime’s smoked out alter-ego. That said, like all Stones Throw projects, this has to be taken on its own terms and viewed through that lens (and heard when really high) it doesn’t sound too bad. Much like the previous record the duo unleashed on the public, its best to let the filler pass you by and focus on the highlights. In the case, Testin Me is the obvious standout with a beat so ill that it’s a cot damn shame that it didn’t find its way to Nas and Doom or just about anybody who raps. Dudley doesn’t do it bad though. Other ill tracks include Come here my dear featuring the typically reliable MED, the chill Cali vibe of Separate Ways, the spacy Last Stand and the 8 minute crazy-psych-epic Dear God. But is there anything as catchy as Flowers? Well, this album’s gem Inside comes close but it’s still no cigar. On a whole it’s a better batch of songs than the last one and it’s still better than anything Ne-Yo will ever put out.

The second annual Jewish reggae Passover post!

2006-04-12T09:34:00.000-04:00

I feel really smug now that this blog is approaching its 2 year mark. However, thanks to the wacky Jewish calendar, before I even get to celebrate that I get to repeat last year’s well received Jewish reggae post. Obviously I’m not talking about Matisyahu or any drivel of the sort, but rather Rastafarian songs that deal with Israelites or Israel (which I guess that Rastas have also pegged as the Holy Land). A couple of you might even remember that I went ahead and uploaded some of these during the high holidays which would make this the 3rd over all installment. But that would make you nerds.

This year’s pick comes in the form of Augustus Pablo’s Zion High instrumental from his King David’s Melody. Obviously there’s no lyrical shoutouts to the war plagued country, but the song and album title alone combined with the Spaghetti-western-klezmer-dub music that makes up the track totals for a more than worthy addition to the series. The entire album is a great listen and some of the tracks should definitely find their way onto film soundtracks if anyone has half an ear for suitably dramatic material.

Augustus Pablo – Zion High

XXL is a size too small...

2006-04-08T11:18:00.000-04:00

Blame it on the swagger, but XXLmags.com has their heads up their asses a decent part of the time. Whether it’s getting sonned by Bun B or predicting Ghostface will flop only to back out when he hit top 5, these guys deserve their card pulled. Actually that’s just ONE of their writers. DAMN.

Now I’m no fan of Southern Hiphop by a long shot, but blaming Atlanta for New York’s problems when their most viable rap group is wearing purple long tee’s is ridiculous. So without further ado, I present the definitive retort to XXLmag.com’s 21 Reasons Why The South Is, Indeed, Ruining Hip-Hop.

21 Reasons Why New York is calling the Kettle Black

1. Fat Joe: Two Words: Remi Martin

2. Q-Tip: He turned his back on one of the greatest rap groups of all time. In fact he hasn’t delivered a proper album since the 90’s. Unforgivable. That goes double for Rakim and Big Daddy Kane.

3. No one copped…let’s see…Monkey Bars, Long hot Summer, Purple Haze, The Pretty Toney album, Streets Disciple… nuff said.

4. Ja Rule: Solely responsible for half the crap on the airwaves for the three first years of the millennium.

5. G-G-G-G-UNIT: Except for…ah fuck it, these guys haven’t released a decent CD since the mixtape before Fiddy’s first album. Admit it.

6. Swizz Beats: Casio jackin, rat faced, hypeman motherfucker. Fuck stoning me even the kush won’t help.

7. Fight Klub: A bunch of wack rappers calling each other wack rappers does not a decent artist make.

8. P Puffington of Diddy: The OG annoying rap impresario (peace to Russell) who’s still milking his dead friend for all he’s worth with terrible remixes and worst clones. Fuck a Shyne.

9. Pharaohe Monch: For not knowing better than to sign with the Steve “not-so-Loud” Rifkind. (doh!)

10. Dipset’s stylists: Yes homo. MAD homo.

11. Insincere New York Hip-Hop fans: If the city was pumping out De La Soul’s, LONS’, Wu-Tang’s, Mobb Deep’s and Biggies on the regular no one would even care about this whole regional rap thing. You know the city sucks right now.

12. Whoever tried to make Ghost look like an R&B singer at Def Jam: Should have stuck with the rawness.

13. MF Doom: The cartoon mouse thing was a bit too much. Bring back the style about leaving your rhymes up under the top bunk in C-Block.

14. Because the current best rappers out of New York are out of VA: Hell Hath no Fury coming soon.

15. You bastids broke up the Roc: That was the one decent label New York had going for it. Now Jay’s busy pushing Ne-Yo cds and Dame is on the back of a milk carton.

16. Saigon: Your unsigned hype was half a decade ago, even Nas didn’t take that long to drop.

17. The Roots: Stop acting so damn bougie just because you got a bunch of instruments on stage. Black Thought has the charisma of a cardboard box.

18. Ruff Ryder Records: After they got lucky with DMX, they subjected us to bullshit albums from Eve, Drag-On and Jadakiss, none which were worth the disc they were printed on.

19. Canibus: Homey switched up to go mainstream. Then went on some crazy space shit to add insult to injury.

20. Matisyahu: The Beasties were one thing but this guy ain’t no too live Jew.

21. The Source and XXL Magazine: Because like the Democrats and Republicans, they’re both running and ruining shit.

Cuban Linx II news update

2006-04-07T09:48:00.000-04:00

I spent all this time hyping up Fishscale and when it came out I didn’t even bother to review it, probably because everyone and their mother were reiterating how hot it was and I didn’t feel the need to add another blog review to the cluttered mess that has become “Ghostface appreciation month”. That said, I loved the album and went and bought it last week (contributing to crucial second week sales) and I honestly believe the stage is set for a genuine return to form for Wu-Tang after the excellent Grandmasters and Fishscale projects. The crown juel however is undoubtedly Raekwon’s Cuban Linx II project and this update from Rza makes it very clear that Wu-Tang Clan…well… they ain’t nuthin to fuck with.

RZA released some exclusive information on Cuban Linx II to Wu-Tang Corp today. RZA promises the fans it will be a real classic, Raekwon is said to be in his most murderous vibe of writing and the songs are coming along lovely. The whole Clan (minus the late ODB) is confirmed to appear on the album. The next street single after the well accepted "State Of Grace" will probably be the RZA produced "Secret Inditement". Although RZA is sceptical about outside producers making the final cut, there are a few that have a good chance of getting on there. With respect to the late J.Dilla, the song "House Of The Flying Daggers" is a candidate for the album. Scram Jones has also shopped his beats to Raekwon and RZA. The one producer everyone is wondering about however is Dr.Dre. RZA and Dre were in the studio last week together going through a mass amount of beats. So far, according to RZA there are 3 songs produced by Dre that both Raekwon and RZA are feeling heavily. These three songs are recorded, mixed and done! One of the songs features Raekwon, Busta Rhymes and RZA together over a booming Dre beat! Whether this song will make the album is still uncertain. Raekwon however is confirmed for the Busta Rhymes album and RZA says the new Busta album is absolutely crazy. The song featuring Stevie Wonder is his absolute favorite and he urges all Wu fans to cop that album and support Busta who is also a very close and loved brother to the Clan. Furthermore RZA said hes very happy for Ghost to get the respect and first week sales he received for "Fishscale". He added that "if people liked the Ghostface album, they are gonna LOVE the Cuban Linx part II album." The Wu-Tang is getting ready to strike again

J Dilla did the beat to House of Flying Daggers? That NEEDS to be on there. In case you haven’t heard, that’s one of the earliest songs that Raekwon mentioned in the recording and rumors are it’s along the lines of an early Wu posse cut. As for the Dr Dre stuff, I’m rather ambivalent. Dre beats are never bad but they’re generally too clean for this kind of album and 3 of them sound like a bit much. Hopefully they make the Busta Rhymes album instead, an album that could benefit from that sort of thing. As for Scram Jones…sure, whatever as long as Rza mixes it down. The man’s beats always came off as something from Alchemist’s little brother but they aren’t bad per say. With Rza involved to such a large extent anyways, it simply a question of making the album fit together.

Oh and am I the only one who found that Ghost compliment slightly backhanded? Ghost and Rza need to make amends and get to collaborating, stat.

Art Brut in Montreal at La Sala Rossa

2006-04-03T20:22:00.000-04:00

Art Brut’s strange brew of honesty-through-sarcasm could come off as snotty juvenilia for the art-school set but it surprisingly transcends the latter part of the equation though its lack of pretension. In plain English: it’s nice to see a bunch of people on stage playing music without pretending they’re cool, weird, dangerous or any other marketable adjective. Instead of those things, Art Brut play a hilarious take on classic punk while examining the little things that make life both worth living and worth ending. A few topics include moving to LA, disconnecting oneself from pop culture, getting into fights, getting into the sack with a new girlfriend, obsessing over an old one and failing to get it up. That’s right, someone made a rock song about erectile dysfunction before the Rolling Stones (zing!).

The opening act for the night was the local all girl indie pop group Pony Up! And surprisingly, I really dug their set. Sure any one of their songs could fit comfortably in the soundtrack to “Chasing Amy 2” but being a child of the 90’s, I have a soft spot for post-grunge alt-pop with female vocals and Pony Up! delivered with enthusiasm. Although I may have weirded them out during the obligatory “audience participation” part by suggesting that they play Jimi Hendrix on Acid.

Once Art Brut walked on stage and tore into We formed a Band however, everything else was forgotten. It’s tremendously enjoyable to be able to rock out to a current band as opposed to the cold critical appreciation that most new music inspires. Singer Eddie Argos’ rants about life prove to be intensely relatable and with a little luck these guys could hit it big Nirvana style: the world is ripe for a REAL punk band to knock the current crop of mall-rats off the charts. While the set was short and sweet, there’s only so much one can do with a 42 minute album and even I was admittedly drained from bouncing to the music the whole time. Too bad there wasn’t a mosh pit but the indie rock kids didn’t want to mess up their faux-80’s gear.

All in all, an incredible show and a highly recommended one. Five stars.

Concordia Student Election organizers and their shitty commercials

2006-03-30T10:10:00.000-05:00

Stop pushing your democratic process during the Daily Show. I think I saw your god damned shitty commercial 3 times in 30 minutes. Did you know you guys actually have a film school? I’m sure there’s SOMEONE in there wouldn’t mind spending a couple of hours making sure your commercial doesn’t look like utter ass. Then again, sure is such a strong word, the film students don’t actually have time to waste on useless crap like this which is probably why I can’t find a single person who gives a shit about the election.

Internet thugs

XXLMags’ bloggers take themselves too damned seriously. What’s with the e- ice grilling guys? Afraid people will realize you’re nerds like the every other music writer? It’s pretty funny to read the vague threats at the bottom of their posts, if only for the fact that you know half of those guys were bumping Mos Def singles in 98. Then again, Elliot Wilson’s Ghostface sample report was cool. Still, even if the guy’s behind the biggest rap rag out there (say hi to Fiddy!) it still doesn’t make his online stuff any better than a glorified audioblog. Meanwhile DJ Sickamore’s assertion that he represents everyone born in the 80’s is highly dubious: we’re not all talentless douchebags latching on to other people’s trends and talent.

Southern Hiphop albums

I enjoy southern rap singles but I have zero interest in sitting through T.I’s album. Unless the on wax drug dealer expresses remorse (Ghostface) or some sign of pathological nihilism (The Clipse), I’m probably tired of it. Speaking of which, I should have a long delayed Ghostface review up tomorrow and perhaps a little commentary on the new Clipse single. But until then, I’ll stick with jazz loops and boasts and leave this generation’s hair-metal to da kids.

Hipsters

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about all urban white people, just those with studded belts, asymmetrical haircuts, tight jeans and a blind obedience to whatever the trend of the moment is. Typically these people have zero personality and zero taste in anything but you’ll inevitably find some of them at every interesting event by sheer coincidence that they found a worthwhile band to latch on too. Fuckin tools.

The Mission Impossible III trailers

My god what a shitty looking movie. Tom Cruise has slowly but surely morphed from that annoying midget that women inexplicably liked to the single most puncheable face in the western hemisphere. I wish the man really WAS blown back first into a car door by an explosion.

Marc Emery at Concordia – Report

2006-03-26T14:31:00.000-05:00

There is irony at work.

It’s fair to describe me as a Cannabis aficionado. I smoke almost daily (though almost never before 10:00 PM in order to keep my productivity up…not that you would know it from my infrequent blog updates) and I’m significantly concerned with its legalization since I feel it’ll change humanity for the better rather than for the worse. That said, I’m pragmatic and I don’t blind myself to the downsides of the plant: it’s almost certainly bad for the lungs (all smoke is), it can render people lethargic and like anything, a small percentage of humanity will overdo it and fuck it up for the rest of us.

With this position in mind, I went to see Marc Emery at Concordia University last Friday. For those who are unaware of Marc’s plight here’s the abridged version. He’s sold a fuckton of marijuana seeds across the world via mail order and used the proceeds to finance the legalization of the plant since he believes that the persecution of cannabis smokers is wrong. He was never charged with much jail time by Canadian authorities and has always acted in the open and paid his taxes. Unfortunately, the American DEA hates his guts because of this and is demanding his extradition to the US where he would face 30 years to life in prison as the number 1 drug kingpin in the world. That’s a lot for selling seeds considering he’s given all the money away. His court hearing is expected to come very soon and fearing for the worst under Harper (scumbag) he’s been traveling across Canada on a farewell tour to speak about this injustice as well as Marijuana in general.

He had a lot to say on that later subject…much of it dubious unfortunately.

Like I stated earlier, I’m pragmatic about Cannabis. Emery however is a cheerleader in every sense of the word which is sad because he has some very thought provoking arguments that get lost amid the more questionable comments. His assertion that weed smokers are a culture (Marijuana people) seems particularly dubious (not doobie-us) because outside of a small radical minority, Cannabis is a minor part of a smoker’s life. I don’t define myself through pot smoking anymore than I do through alcohol and it’d be quite a stretch to call me a “beer person”. Emery also quoted biblical reasons for smoking pot and you guys already know how I feel about biblical justification for ANYTHING (if you don’t, the Bible as a literal text is bullshit) Then he mentioned how weed would cure cancer, make me drive better, improve my sex life and that no one had ever shot a cop over weed. These were just some of the things that left me scratching my head going man what the hell is he smoking?

If you need me to answer that question you should probably be smoking less.

On the other hand, Emery was a very active speaker (think of a Tarentino style motor mouth going on about the wonders of weed) and stated some very valid points: marijuana itself doesn’t make anyone violent and we desperately need to get it out of the hands of organized crime. Practically all of the great artists of the past 50 years have smoked weed regularly and it’s an incredible tool to open the mind. Also, as much as his cultural talk was mumbo jumbo he did speak a fundamental truth: the moment you smoke weed is the moment you realize that everything you’ve ever been told about anything is total bull. Now it’s very possible to find this out without weed but in my case it helped a lot and as a person who very much disagrees with how the people in charge are running this planet, I’m glad I can piss them off by smoking even if I hope I can do it legally (which would still piss them off). He also proposed a fun game, take your CD collection and divide it up with the artists who smoke weed on one side and those who don’t on the other. Then decide which pile you want to be on a desert island with. Thought so.

I didn’t get to stay until the end of the conference due to time constraints and the fact I can only listen about weed for so long, but all in all it was an interesting speech if not one I totally agreed with. I guess the world needs determined zealots like Marc Emery to change things because there’s a hell of a lot of zealots on the other side who are claiming even more lies to keep weed illegal. I wish he’d spoken more about his pending legal case but I guess there’s not much to be said and that he wants to keep the details under wraps. All in all, an interesting time and I urge you to find out more at www.cannabisculture.com.

Oh and the irony of this post? I’m taking a week off weed to save money and flush my system clean.

Gnarls Barkley is CRAZY

2006-03-21T11:51:00.000-05:00

No, I haven’t heard the album yet but everything I HAVE heard from it is certifiably bananas.

I wasn’t a huge fan of Dangerdoom last year despite the hype. I felt it was a good/decent/fun record despite itself but was quick to point out that Doom’s scratchy, mushmouthed drawl was much better suited to Madlib’s esoteric lo-fi weirdness than Dangermouse’s pop instincts. Not that DM wasn’t weird, but where Doom and Madlib traded in the sonic simplicity of scratchy samples, the Mouse could only really let loose with Vocalists like The Gorillaz or Jemini whose melodies gave him something to work around. I went so far as to say that Dangermouse might be a better pop producer than Hiphop producer.

Turns out I was right.

With the single Crazy expected to hit #1 in the UK, it’s not too late to jump on the Gnarls Barkley bandwagon and say you heard it first,: a good thing because this record could be huge. As you can hear on the band’s *shudder* Myspace page there’s quite a lot to be excited about. Cee-lo’s vocals soar and Danger’s countermelodies err…counter and everything comes out like some sort of crazy Elephant Six meets Dungeon Family rock-soul-dance music. I tend to be relatively jaded about new acts *cough*Arctic Monkeys*cough* or new music in general (except for Ghostface) but this is some crazy music right here and might just be the project that’ll send theses guys to the Top of the Pops. Either way, between this and Demon Days, I must say that Dangermouse has a pop music on lock even if his rap collaborations aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

Oh, and read that band description on the Myspace page. Pretty damn weird.

V for Vendetta

2006-03-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

I don’t take comic book movies seriously.

I mean, honestly comics CAN be intelligent engaging works of art but I fear their adaptations never (or to be fair, rarely) reach that peak and instead end up as simple kid ready action movies. With that out of the way, I fully enjoyed V for Vendetta even as I immediately knew this wasn’t going to anything high minded. I applaud Alan Moore for having the courage to say this is not my work and separate himself from the project. Consequentially, I’m going to read his comic book with an open mind and believe the story has the potential to be rich, nuanced and thought provoking. The previous adjectives rarely described anything associated with the Watchowskis however, who attract descriptions like 15-year-old-pot-smoker-fake-deep-philosophy. And that’s exactly what their interpretation of V for Vendetta is.

When I was 15, I totally loved the Matrix. The ideas presented in that film were incredibly inspiring to my teenaged brain and the action sequences simply kicked ass. Minus the action (which is downplayed here) I’m sure this generation of 15 year olds will find this film to suitably reproduce that experience with the added benefit of a concrete real-world enemy they can blame (Bush). Sure it’s a bastardization of the original work, but it’s entertaining for what it is and there were only TWO genuinely cringe-worthy moments in the entire thing and for Larry and Andrea (snicker) that’s pretty good.

Go see V for Vendetta if you want some fun fluffy pop-aganda disguised as something deep. Don’t see it expecting anything above Jr High philosophy.

Lot’s to touch upon...

2006-03-14T11:03:00.000-05:00

SAFER=stupid

I hate bullshit, even when it ostentatiously comes from my side. It’s the reason that Michael Moore looks like a fat-ass loser and that the Democrats can’t get ahead no matter how much the Republicans fuck up: these guys are getting so swarmy you can’t tell them apart from the right wing they’re opposing. That’s why SAFER’s St-Patrick’s day plan has me shaking my head. In case you didn’t know, SAFER is an organization which has decided to prove that Marijuana is a safe alternative to alchohol by repeating the same argument over and over like a brain deficient…err…pothead. Sure that’s the exact thing the Republican party does to much success (stay on message!) but I expect more from the left, not an if you can’t beat em, join em attitude. The sad part is that their truth through assertion method actually works and they’ve run better legalization campaigns than anyone else. I blame the stupidity of the American people.

So now they want me to smoke on ST-Patty’s instead of having a drink. Well fuck those guys and fuck the man who doesn’t want me to smoke. I’m going to get smashed on both. That’ll teach em. And probably teach a few of my filter-organs as well.

I hate anime fans

I rather like reading manga once in a while but is it even remotely possible to not hate these people? I enjoy the well drawn graphics and engaging storylines offered, but every time I have to deal with an anime fan the conversation inevitably turns into this weird zone between socialization and attempted strangulation. The males are obviously the worst with personalities landing somewhere between emo fanboy and prep-school jerk. Listen kids, back when I read manga it was all about fuck the man rocking Hawaiian shirts and afros and watching South Park on the side. None of this Megatokemo bullshit. As for the girls, they come in 2 flavors: ugly as sin and hot but socially inept. Obviously harping on the ineptitude of geeks is a no-brainer but as a fairly geeky person myself I’m still puzzled at the sheer revenge-of-the-nerds style social incompetence displayed by these people. They need to drink some beer and smoke some weed or something…

The new Dudley Perkins album is…

Produced by Madlib! Actually, that’s more or less the best thing I can say about Expressions, Dudley’s newest opus. Let’s be fair, as entertaining as some of his stuff is, the man is basically a front for Madlib to get into crazy stoned Hiphop soul and much more. What this means is that when Madlib (and I guess Dudley) get a good idea like Testin Me or Inside things are great but when they come up with boring or stupid material…ugh. Still, I love the lo-fi sound and the good stuff is really good, but you may want to buy some of the highlights off Itunes (yeah right) and leave the album alone.

No...not Isaac...it’s not true!

2006-03-13T20:03:00.000-05:00

Dammit, they (the wacko couch jumping scientologists) got to Isaac Hayes who’s not quitting South Park over the fact that Trey Parker and Matt Stone dissed his religion. Now I’m a much bigger Isaac Hayes fan than I am a Southpark fan but I gotta go with the white guys on this one: that religion is coocoo for Cocoa puffs and deserves to be dissed. It was bad enough when the action stars of the 80’s converted but when credible musicians like Beck and Isaac Hayes and all around cool people like Jason Lee are being recruited, it becomes clear that this movement must be stopped. Too long have our couches been jumped. On the other hand the really cool people like Leonard Cohen and William S Boroughs denounced it so it’s not all that bad.

Incidentally, turns out Paul Haggis is a member too. That explains why Crash was so cot damn batshit INSANE.

2 urgent letters to the world

2006-03-09T22:39:00.000-05:00

Dear Teenagers of America

Stop posting your stupid ass lyp-sync videos on Youtube. You’re wasting the internets.

Insincerely yours

Sach

Dear Natalie Portman

Bitch shut the fuck up

Not so cordially yours

Sach

PS: tell SNL the white rap thing was funny once. It’s just stupid now.

Thoughts on Syriana and Of Montreal

2006-03-08T15:20:00.000-05:00

Thoughts on Syriana

I’m really tired of network narratives, hyperlink cinema or any other fads which make for films which have a dozen underdeveloped main characters. That said, Syriana isn’t a bad film, but it’s certainly a confusing one considering fictional Middle-Eastern policy is just as befuddling as the real deal. If a Middle-Eastern country pisses off the US by granting energy rights to China while another company bribed an Emir which leads to a CIA operative being double crossed…who committed what crime and should I be pissed? That’s not exactly what happens in the movie but it’s a demonstration of the kind of head-scratching plot development which explains why Crash reduced its entire cast to stereotypes and anti-stereotypes: because it’s hard to keep track of people if you can’t refer to them as “the Arab guy” or “the black wife”. There’s a lot of good in the film though: the viewer will leave somewhat educated about the energy crisis and George Clooney and Matt Damon get to act together (kind of) in a movie that doesn’t involve Danny Ocean. As for Clooney’s Oscar winning performance, it’s ok but he put on 20 pounds and a beard PLUS there was a torture scene so you know the academy loved that.

All in all, an ok film but nothing unbelievable. Still, it’s better than Crash anyway you slice it and both of those films are in the same batsuit, as Clooney might say.

Of Montreal in Montreal part 3

Kevin Barnes is the only man I’m willing to see walk onstage in a wedding gown and strip down half-naked in tight pants. That’s a testament to the rocking good time one gets at an Of Montreal show, officially the band I’ve seen the most (3rd time in a year!). Interestingly enough, the band was a little more talkative than usual, playing up the crowd and making jokes whereas they usually let the music do all the talking. This was partly necessary to introduce the new songs which the band was testing throughout the night but it also showed a growing report with the audience which is always a good thing. Barnes and co may not be the Decemberists yet, but I’ll be damned if they’re not trying as hard as possible to get there.

Besides, any band that can segue into Europe’s The final countdown deserves props.

The good the bad and the ugly at the Oscars

2006-03-06T11:16:00.000-05:00

The Good

George Clooney winning something and delivering a great speech. I have a hard time anyone on earth can hate George Clooney. The man pretty much lives out his Danny Ocean character 24/7 now.

Wallace and Gromit wins! Suck it you 12 year old emo-goth Corpse Bride fans!

David Letterman’s appearance in the opening montage

Jon Stewart referring to Martin Scorcese not having a fucking shelf full of these things yet.

Three 6 Mafia bay-bee!!!!! I can’t believe that these guys won and I couldn’t be happier. I’m not even a huge fan but the last time an underground style of music got exposed on the Oscars was Oh Brother where art thou and you saw the kind of sales that thing got off the exposure. Now I’m sure middle aged white folks won’t be out bumping so fly but it’s still great for them.

Will Smith, Queen Latifah, Ludacris, Jamie Foxx, Terrence Howard, Three Six Mafia, Morgan Freeman, Samuel L Jackson. That’s a big night for Hiphop and black people in general. Good to see the Oscars move away from being whitey’s night, if only because all of the above deserve the spotlight.

Brokeback Mountain winning for best score. That thing is catchy as hell, admit it.

Ang Lee dedicating a movie about gay cowboys to his traditional Taiwanese dad.

Jack Nicholson, as always.

The Altman tribute

Those spoof voter ads. Cordry at the Oscars!

Rachel Weisz’ dignified acceptance speech.

The South African director shouting viva and delivering the night’s non-rap related exhuberance.

Three 6 Mafia won…I mean HOLY SHIT! Their speech was great too.

The Bad

Memoires of a Geisha winning repeatedly? What the fuck man? That movie is shit in a reel-can.

Memoires of a Geisha winning best costume and the designer having the audacity to thank Japan.

Crash wins best picture. Although I don’t hate it as much as some of my friends, there really were better films this year.

Jon Stewart’s monologue falling flat. It’s their fault not yours Johnny.

Did I mention that Geisha movie?

Reese Witherspoon’s vapid rambling acceptance speech.

The Ugly

Well…it’s the Oscars. Everyone’s looking good.

Lauren Bacall messing up the film noir intro.

The repeated plees to get people into the theaters. It just came off as desperate. Make good movies and people will go see them. Make Dukes of Hazard and I’ll stay home thank you.

Paul Haggis’ continuing domination of the Oscars.

Ben Stiller’s stupid green screen shtick.

Will Ferrel and Steve Carell’s stupid makeup shtick.

Carell should have referenced Jon or something. Jeez.

People trying to convince us this was a great year in film because the stuff was heavy and serious. Meanwhile I’m enjoying incredible innovative stuff out of Asia that’s simultaneously innovative, entertaining, thought provoking…and not featured here.

That’s not a knife...THIS is a knife...err Kirkpan!

2006-03-05T13:02:00.000-05:00

*Warning: socio-political rant ahead*

Much ado about nothing since the Supreme Court decided that Sikhs could wear their traditional kirkpan (knife) to school on grounds that it’s a religious symbol and this is a free country. It’s been tremendously amusing watch the intolerance grow as the entire province of Quebec threw a hissy-fit at the idea that they’d have to accommodate other’s beliefs and ideas. It’s also been pretty ugly.

Now I’m no fan of religion or religious symbols (cue Colbert voice) but I love it when the closed-minded hypocrisy of the people around me gets exposed for what it is. I guarantee you that 90% of the people complaining about this ruling in Quebec have never even spoken to a Sikh and never will considering how closed the community is. Thus, what you end up with is a majority of people fear-mongering over something they don’t even know jack about. Does Sikh related violent crime in schools even exist? I’ve certainly never heard of it. Hell the only time I’ve ever seen one of the guys is on the bus and I commend them for their fashion sense: the colorful turbans really set them off as opposed to the Hindus and Muslims.

No, this isn’t about violence at all. It’s about Quebec’s dirty little secret. As progressive as the place is about the environment, gay and women’s rights and other issues there’s one particular category where it’s lagging behind and threatens to mentioned in the same category as France and *GASP* the US of A. I’m speaking of cultural relations of course. Now don’t get me wrong, Quebec has a right to have a chip on it’s shoulder: no one wants to see their culture assimilated and no one with any common sense is protesting the language laws (which isn’t to say there aren’t protests, just that the people mad have no common sense). If Quebec wants to allow more immigrants from French speaking nations than elsewhere in the world, that’s its prerogative as well. In fact, it should be allowed to pick immigrants any way it damn well pleases. It’s being the generous host isn’t it?

Well it is. Until they and their children get citizenship that is. Then these people are equal to any French or English speaking 5th generation white-bread Canadian you can find. They pay taxes to the same government and are subject to the same laws. So you really have zero right to tell him how to act or adapt. Sorry, if they want to fight for something and the law says they’re right, you can’t just shut it down.

It’s been said that Quebec views itself as a cultural melting pot (ala France and USA) as opposed to a “cultural mosaic” (ala English Canada). Well I’ve got news for you: France and the US have major racism problems and I see hints of the future direction Quebec could take in the attitudes seen over this debate. These people are citizens of the same land and have all the rights that white secular people have in terms of beliefs and freedoms. Just because you prefer a secular society doesn’t mean you can boss around other people on the basis that you think this place is “yours” due to your skin color and ancestry. You could curb personal freedom by banning religious expression in public altogether, but I think you know what my thoughts are on curbed freedoms.

The hilarious thing is how a lack of religion has been “religionised”. Isn’t imposing a total lack of public religion the same god damned thing as imposing one particular religion? I mean it’s declaring only one set of beliefs acceptable in public and making all others hidden. I’m no religious expert, but that’s a good way to foster hostility and ill will, violence even.

Someone may even pull out a knife.

Tropicalia INVASION!

2006-02-28T11:59:00.000-05:00

Gal Costa – Nao Identificado
Caetano Veloso – Nao Identificado

Gal Costa – Lost in Paradise
Caetano Veloso – Lost in Paradise

I’m really glad that I got into Brazilian music before it became the realm of the trendy revitalists at Pitchfork media. In fact, I really wish they hadn’t reviewed that re-issue and given it such a high score: this is going to drive a million hipsters into a record buying frenzy and will definitely raise the prices on this shit. Once again the indie crowd proves to be a thorn in my side. Anger against an easy target aside, Tropicalia has been ripe for a revival ever since Kurt Cobain (and later Of Montreal and Cunninlynguists) name dropped Os Mutantes. Hell, even MF Doom has jumped on the Brazilian bandwagon if his recent beats are of any indication and let’s not forget Madlib and Diplo’s regular trips to the land of all things booty: they brought back lost grooves and bad bass-house respectively. With names like that, don’t you want to get in on the fun?

Luckily, I’ve got y’all covered with an interesting MP3 update as we take a look at two songs covered by two of Tropicalia’s most important artists: Caetano Veloso and Gal Costa. I could spend a whole day writing about the historical and musical importance of this guy and this gal (no pun intended) but that’s what Allmusic is for. Suffice to say that they were an item and created some of the best music of the 60’s t never reach your parents ears. Unless your prarents were Brazilian I guess. Oh, and they also recorded it in jail while being harassed by their country’s military government: and those British and US hippies thought they had it hard…

But enough back story, what’s up with the songs? Written by Veloso, these were used on their early albums in radically different ways. Nao Identificado for example is a rocking, psychedelic guitar driven affair with low-key vocals in the hands of Veloso. Costa on the other hands flips it into an organ driven balad thanks to her sweet delivery and soulful instrumentation. Lost in Paradise’s versions don’t quite differ as much as the previous song in mood but the subtle differences in instrumentation and vocal switches make for interesting distinctions, not to mention a great listening experience no matter which one you prefer.

Ghostface Killah – Fishscale Bootleg

2006-02-25T12:53:00.000-05:00

I’m not going to even pretend that I’m remotely objective about this release as it pretty much features my single favorite currently active artist collaborating with what I consider to be the most interesting musicians in Hiphop today. There’s a certain amount of personal taste at play here which means I won’t be able to make any objective statements on this until several months down the line once I’ve digested the official version numerous times. Until then, here are my thoughts on the bootleg that leaked last night based on 5 or 6 back to back, incredibly giddy listens.

It’s much better than the Pretty Toney album which suffered in the middle. Although it’s not sequenced and there are a couple of tracks missing and some mixing issues, it’s already devoid of the filler and sample clearance issues that marred Starks’ last attempt. The only questionable track at this point is 3 Bricks featuring Biggie, a joint that wasn’t recorded for this project and that isn’t on the bootleg (so it might not make it).

J-Dilla really gave Ghostface some incredible tracks. Whip me with a Strap is an incredibly touching song about Ghost’s bitter childhood and Hi (for lack of a better track title) has an ending that’ll make even the most jaded smile. The beats fit on Donuts, but they fit just as well here.

Speaking of older beats, Doom’s Monsta Island Czars must be livid that the man basically resold half the beats he gave them on their projects. I can’t really complain as frankly, Doom was at his absolute weirdest in that era and Wu-Tang sound much better over these than those guys ever did. Still, my favorite beat (and song) on the album has got to be Clips of Doom featuring Raekwon (the one with the Kung fu dialogue). Incredible Rza-esque beat and crime discussions that just brought me 10 years back.

Cappadonna actually rips his verses. Let’s hope this return to form is permanent as he sounds really good with Trife and Ghost. All we need now is Lord Superb and I’m hyped for a real Theodore non-compilation of collaborations. The Wu-Tang Clan meanwhile reconvenes on Wu Joint but the version on here sounds unmixed and unfinished. If not, it’s still good enough but it’ll be filed under coulda been even better which is the most negative thing that can be said about anything on here.

The dirty version of Back like That is hilarious when you’re used to the radio one. Most simultaneously useless and hilarious use of the word nigga in recent memory though with the focus on useless. The song has really grown on me regardless.

The Just Blaze produced Champions is dynamite with Rocky 3 dialogue samples and Laffy Taffy disses flowing freely. I’m glad SOMEONE is calling out those D4L guys because that song really is terrible to the point of annoyance.

Raekwon’s rhymes have me EAGERLY anticipating Fishscale. Also, Masta Killa is rapidly moving up from “that dude who can pick ill beats and rhymes aiight” to “Wu member whose stuff I’m really looking forward to”. His verse on Wu-joint is smooth all hell.

The other tracks are great ranging from the cinematic “Crackspot” and “Barbershop” which paint short portraits of these areas to the 70’s R&B inspired “Family Affair”. The album has got a particular nostalgic storytelling bent that really suits the older Ghost well and it works better than the puzzlingly clean Pretty Toney attempt. I’ll undoubtedly be filling the gap in my Ghostface collection come March 28th, most likely via physical CD even if I’m I-pod equipped now. Support Ghost!

Tammi Terrel - All I do is think about you

2006-02-23T10:52:00.000-05:00

Tammi Terrel – All I do is think about you

There isn’t much to say except I love this song and wanted to share it with my ever increasing readership (no seriously! We’re on the upswing!). I was searching for a Jackson Five track of the same name that Dilla sampled last week when I came across this interesting slice of soul. I assumed it was a different version of the same song since Motown artists were notorious in competing for the best version of their material, but it turns out that I was wrong: this is a cutting-room floor leftover that just happened to share the same name and that never got any shine.

I don’t know if I should be shaking my head at this bone-headed mistake or incredibly impressed that the quality control was so tight that a gem like this wasn’t even worth a b-side.

Thankfully for us though, a compilation’s worth of these things came out (A Cellar full of Motown) and now we get to hear it in all its heavenly glory. It’s actually hard to think of material like this as “old” music considering how school-girly Tammy sounds crooning about it’d be nice if the guy she has a crush on would reciprocate as the sound bounces to the beat of those giant cavernous Motown drums we know in love. The instrumentation is all vibes and strings and has a certain mournful quality to it which helps any love song: she knows that this dude has zero interest but all she can do is think about him. I was actually tempted to make a montage of this song to images from Kill Bill but that’ll probably be filed under “projects I’ll never have time for”, so until then a simple mp3 link on this blog will have to satisfy my urge to let the world hear this song.

I fell off the wagon... videogame style

2006-02-20T17:35:00.000-05:00

Videogames pretty much consumed my entire life ages 6 to 16. That’s an exaggeration of course as comic books, the internet, pornography and at least 2 girls at the local catholic school also had my attention in later years, but it’s not unfair to claim that nothing else mattered until I was 12. Luckily for my social life, I didn’t really latch on to the whole 128bit war since most of the games generally stopped being fun. While the occasional title grabbed my attention (read: Final Fantasy X and Dragon Quest 7) I honestly believed I was done for good with videogames.

And now Shadow of the Colossus fucked me up.

I mean WOW; the fights in this game are EPIC. It took me about an hour to get through the trickiest of the first 10 bosses and the game occasionally gets frustrating, but the rush you get when you finally find a Colossus’ weak spot and get to killing it? Priceless. The boss battles in most games really aren’t that special considering you’ve plowed through 200-300 skeletons/soldiers/grunts to get to em. Every fight in this game feels like a war though, the kind of hard fought cinematic struggle that makes it worth it. In other words, by the time it’s over you’re damned satisfied.

I’ve got to go finish it. I’m really addicted. God help me if I buy the next Dragon Quest game.

Word Filter

2006-02-18T13:48:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the good times

Special shoutout to everyone who helped celebrate my born-day this week. Much fun was had, many blunts smoked and much alcohol consumed…maybe too much of the last in some people’s case. Either way, I’m gonna let my liver relax a little bit in the next few days. It seems like a wise decision.

Word!

Yes, in case you didn’t notice, my first review is up on Ohword. I’m so proud. Leave intelligent comments relating to Public Enemy. Perhaps even something controversial. My next one should be hopefully up next week and if not, week after next. I’m also kicking around some ideas for something a little longer but that’s nowhere near ready yet.

Some more on J Dilla

I never realized how much of my favorite music has been made by this man. While the aforementioned Ohword dropped a huge tribute including links to every possible internet dedication of note, I want to leave y’all with this post, scooped off the Okayplayer boards.

J Dillas funeral was sad, yet Beautiful!!!

I just got home from Dillas funeral,and although I'm sad to see the brother gone,I know he was impressed by the people who payed homage! People like Common (of course),Q-Tip,Erykah Badu,Pete Rock,Amp Fiddler,Ali Shaheed Muhammed & Phife Dog(who both sat directly behind me) Karrem Riggins,Wajeed,B.R.Gunna,Madlib,J-Roc,Busta Rhymes,Xzibit,Dialated Peoples,a lot of House DJ's like Ron Trent and Dj Spinna,and a host of others whom I did'nt see or could'nt notice(like the Infamous DOOM,who was there but I forgot what he looks like widdout the mask!So that **** really does work!!!lol)When I got there(fifteen to two)I was given one of the dopest Programs ever in funeral history!Complete with a Poem from his Ma'Dukes ,His Story,His Biography,Tributes from Rasheed(Common),Karrem,T3,his patna Dank,and his baby moms.Various pictures w/friends and Dillas Discography complete with Mc credits,Prodution credits by year from 93'to 06'. As I sat down I could'nt believe my ears when this Dilla instrumental came on and played faintly in the front of the church.The instrumental was the one off of Welcome to Detroit track #9 Brazzilan Groove (which is personally my favorite,I played that song one day last year in my ladies car bak to back twelve times in a row,one day!). The CD they played also included songs off Fantastic vol. 2 like Players,Raise it up,and a lot of others with Comments from Com,Pete,T3 and more. The Reverend Perry Sparks gave a Beutiful sermon/Eulogy. The Cementary itself was breathtaking!You had to drive allllllllllllll the way to the top of this hill and when you got to the top you could see miles and miles of green pasture.The funeral was closed casket,but there was a small "shrine" with Dillas personal belongings(Mix equipment,jacket,Detriot"D"hat,a belt buckle that said "WEED"on it, and a couple blizzunts)The only thing that did'nt go as plan(as far as I could tell)was there was supposed to be a Soulquarian Tribute being sung by D'Angelo and Bilal,but when it was announced for them to come to the alter and perform D'Angelo was nowhere in sight,if they got to perform that song Dilla would have cried tears from heaven.It's funny sometimes to hear older gentlmen speak,like when the Reverend said "the Roots" he pronounced it "the Ruttz" and also pronounced "bilal" "B-lil",I thought I was the only one who thought that was funny ,till I heard Ali,and Phife chuckle behind me.Although it was a sad moment to see Black Thought walking through the crowd outside giving pounds to Busta and Phife,It was also real to see him, see Questlove for the first time of the day,and stop and hug him and cry wholeheartedly in Quest chest as Quest embraces his brother!When it was time for the Intement to lay Brother Dilla in the earth,I looked to the sky and witnessed a plane making a gigantic heart next to one it just made.Now I know it was Valentines Day but that moment seemed too surreal for it to be coincidence.Well I'm outta here I got some catchin'up to do with my girl,but I was giving all of you who could'nt make it cuz you were snowed in or whatever reason you could'nt attend the scoop on Dilla who died a legend like Marvin Gaye,last week tuesday was that mans birthday and his album(Donuts)came out on the same day,he passed that Friday and his funeral was this tuesday on Valentines Day!!!Go figure.PEACE and LOVE to Mrs.Yancey and family and friends.

Rest in peace Jay Dee and rest assured that your time on this earth has left an impact on millions.

So happy Together...

2006-02-15T15:16:00.000-05:00

Happy Together Soundtrack - Download

I survived Valentine’s Day. The most accursed day dedicated to a Saint. Patrick’s day is so much better; at least it’s centered on making the sober feel bad rather than the single. So how did I do it? Well, I succeeded mostly by studying for a Chinese history exam and by watching the above.

Happy Together is the original homosexual love story directed by a straight Asian guy. Except without the cowboys and somehow a lot less gay. Regardless of how you feel about the movie though, the soundtrack has got a lot of dope music. Let's run the list: South American pop, Frank Zappa freakout, Frank Zappa love-song parody, Tango music, live South-American recordings, soundtrack music and of course...a cover of "Happy Together". It's pretty eclectic and doesn't necessarily make sense together if you haven't seen the movie but then again, the fun of stuff like this is hearing a buffet's worth of songs. So yeah, call it audio Dim-sum.

I strongly endorse this: Seeing broke gay people get mad and break up is about as good a way to get one's mind off of Valentines day as possible and baring that, a sountrack of ill tunes will do just as well.

Rest in Peace J Dilla

2006-02-11T15:51:00.000-05:00

I’m still in shock at the man’s death. No matter how sick he looked in pictures as recently as a few months ago, no one expects a 32 year old man to not make it. I won’t lie and claim that I was a huge fan of everything he did because I don’t need to because the quality of his work transcends personal taste. Even the stuff I don’t like is far more creative and interesting than the standard loop jacking that permeated Hiphop when he started and the keyboard tomfoolery that crept in later.

Rest in Peace Dilla. The world will miss you and your music.

My Life, My Life My Life.

2006-02-10T11:03:00.000-05:00

Rob Cordry’s Daily Show

I guess he’s filling in while Jon Stewart fusses over the newborn. Obviously go to guy now that Colbert’s got his own show, I found him to be pretty funny even if his “Hitler Anne Frank” joke fell flatter than a 12 year old’s tits. He was maybe a little on the overexcited side but no one’s perfect on their first time out, I mean look at Colbert…

Colbert Report funniest show in universe

Seriously. While he occasionally goes over the top in his American rhetoric (it’s a joke…right?) it’s that dedication to the character that makes the show so god damned hilarious. Felicity H Muffman? He wasn’t the only one who couldn’t maintain his composure after that one. While Stewart’s show has become a funny source of information, Colbert now offers a hilarious look at the disinformation that seems to be running through our increasingly retarded (and fucked) planet. It’s chock full of truthiness.

Plus, his interviews are surprisingly good sparring practice, he ain’t a pushover.

I got my Ipod back

WITH VIDEO. After several months of repair limbo I finally got a new Ipod. How did I live without it? I’ve already loaded up 15 gigs worth of music with more on the way.

Top secret project ahead

Involving getting high and editing a parody music video. This is the kind of thing that I usually talk about but never go through with but this time the idea is so appealing that I can’t help but hype it up in an effort to persuade MYSELF to go through with it.

It’s a pissing competition!

2006-02-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

So Iran now wants to run a contest looking for Holocaust cartoons to “test” the west’s freedom of speach rules. Since when did world politics turn into High school politics? I seriously haven’t seen so much immaturity since I “dissed” a bully back in the days and got shut out of the cool click. If I wasn’t so entirely against war I’d wish that someone would bitchsmack Iran, not out of any deep-seated ideological hatred but because that country’s acting like a drunken biatch and clearly deserves an ass whupping. It’s common sense. Too bad Team America World police had to take out the wrong country (it was only 1 letter off!).

Seriously though, hopefully the world has the prescience to ignore Iran’s cartoons. When someone goes out of his way to piss you off the best thing to do is to show that he ain’t having any effect. Continue going forward with economic sanctions but just shrug the caricatures off. After all, you know they’re going to be stupid so why bother giving them the satisfaction of acting all annoyed when they come out? Hell, if you gotta respond, why not draw a retort? Mohammad at a drawing board could be pretty fuckin funny…Either that or use the cartoons as an excuse to burn down one of their embassies.

State of the (blog) Union

2006-02-04T23:47:00.000-05:00

I didn’t want to announce anything until the ink was dry and I was well into my first contribution, but its set in stone now: I’ll officially be contributing content to www.ohword.com’s review section. This pretty much conflicts with what I was doing at this blog and thus entitles a change in direction.

I started this blog on MSN spaces where I still keep a mirror last as a way to let my friends read about me while I was traveling in Europe and decided to keep it afterwards. When July came around I started updating daily providing mostly movie reviews from the Fantasia film festival along with a couple of other musings. I started getting a decent number of hits and started writing more, the blog eventually became an outlet in itself and I started to do it for the sake of writing, forcing out 500 words a day. Sure the words weren’t always good, but it was really more of an semi-public exercise to strengthen my style than anything serious. I figured if I wrote everyday I could improve my writing. It was a reasonable idea and I think I’ve actually succeeded in that respect though I’ve got a way to go until I’m totally satisfied. Eventually however, the hits stalled and I ran out of content, becoming a second-hand Hiphop news site with the occasional review of a new release. I clearly needed a better publicized and more professional outlet that demanded higher quality writing to keep on improving. Ohword seems pretty much perfect.

So what becomes of this blog from now on? Well, expect it to become less content based, being more of a journal of personal opinions and experiences than an actual news source. I’ll still be reviewing non-rap records, concerts, Montreal events and of course, films here but most of the rap stuff will be a casualty. I also won’t be forcing out an update every day, preferring to only write when I really got something to say. All in all, expect this blog to become more…bloggy.

So yeah, that’s about it.

Matchpoint Review

2006-02-02T12:06:00.000-05:00

Matchpoint is the kind of sadistic Woody Allen movie that only comes once in a blue moon. The last time was 1989 with Crimes and Misdemeanors and not coincidentally, that was arguably his last complete success. While Matchpoint isn’t quite as depressing, and that’s a good thing, it manages to trump its reference point for sheer disdain and harshness. While Allen is best known as America’s premiere “smart comic” and his most fondly remembered films lay between his zany early stuff and later attempts, few seem to notice the man’s mean streak and the resulting nihilist work it produces. It shouldn’t be so surprising: after all, this is a man who idolizes Ingmar Bergman and knew enough about classical Russian literature to parody it in Love and Death without seeming inauthentic which is NOT an easy thing to do. This Russian fatalism is extremely apparent in Matchpoint, a story about one’s actions and their God orchestrated consequences…or the random luck related lack thereof.

Chris Wilton (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers) is a former pro-tennis player from lower class Ireland who quite while he was still ahead, accepting an instructor job at a high class London club. By pure chance, his first lesson goes to socialite Tom Hewett (Matthew Goode) who takes a liking to his ambition and refinement, setting the ball in motion. Within months he’s practically part of the family, engaged to Tom’s sister Chloe (Emily Mortimer) and rapidly rising in father Alec (Brian Cox)’s company. Unfortunately, Wilton gets what he wants and what he wants is Tom’s fiancée Nola (Scarlett Johansson), naturally tragedy unfolds…

The Chris Wilton character isn’t made to be particularly sympathetic not does one immediately take him for manipulative or evil, he’s just determined to claw his way to the top of the social ladder and won’t take no for an answer. While Allen usually forces some likeability out of his films’ New Yorkers, the move to London serves only to sharpen his claws: he depicts the English upper class as vapid, empty people whose ambitions serve only to distract them until their next brunch. In comparison Chris and Nola’s honest struggles while perhaps aggressive seem positively admirable. Even when things get tangled and complex they’re the only ones who struggle while the rest of the family is blind and ignorant to what’s so clearly happening in front of their faces. Naturally, something has got to give.

If Matchpoint is Allen’s best film in years its in large part due to an excellent cast. Rhys Mayer is spot on as an ambitious Irish struggler who gets what he wants. Scarlett Johansson meanwhile…wow. She embodies the temptress Nola perfectly. If the rumors are true and she’s Woody’s new muse we’re in luck and the next few Allen films will be worth seeing for her alone. The Hewett family meanwhile all play their parts well, Emily Mortimer’s Chloe in particular fits the role of the sweet-but-not-exciting wife to a t: you wouldn’t want to hurt this woman but you can tell why Chris looked to Nola for intimacy. All things considered, the cast’s English dryness that’s remarkably refreshing consider the usual neurotic New Yorkers. Speaking of which, there’s no Allen stand in this time around, a choice that’s more than welcome considering recent attempts with Jason Biggs and Will Ferrell.

In addition to a successful company of actors, the film boasts better cinematography than any Allen piece in recent memory as well. Remi Adefarasin keeps Allen’s New Work ready framings even in London, but flashes of the unexpected pop up keeping the film fresh. Particularly, when Scarlett walks on screen the attention to detail really shines. It may not be Gordon Willis’ black and white but it’s still nice and proof that Allen can bring his a-game when surrounded by the right people.

In the end, Matchpoint won’t change the world. Allen’s worldview on crime and consequence hasn’t changed in the past 15 years and films about affairs have been done before. Still, by removing himself and New York from the proceedings, Allen has managed to make the old seem fresh again and there aren’t many better examples of this kind of film in a year where the Oscars heap melodrama by the bucketful. Never boring and not quite predictable, the film remains a downer but it’s Allen’s best downer since Deconstructing Harry and a fine addition to the man’s oeuvre. Despite a couple of stinkers (Curse of the Jade Scorpion....Anything else) Allen’s recent successes (this, Hollywood Ending, Melinda and Melinda) prove that while he may not be commercial money in the bank, he’s still got the touch artistically.

Three-Pac

2006-02-01T10:59:00.000-05:00

Exciting news ahead

Well, not for you. And not in this post.

But it’s true that I have a couple of exciting projects and opportunities of various importance in the works, some which may be revealed as soon as next week and others that may take a few months to come to fruition. Suffice to say that these sidequests will result in numerous experience points to be spent on various of my many attributes. Lord knows strength and charisma could use a boost.

Oscar news

So the Oscar nominations are announced, here’s all you need to know: they’re really boring. Hollywood’s masturbatory ceremony has always rewarded the safe-yet-grandiose statements but these picks are so stuffy they could be…uh…stuffed…or something. Anyways they’re really boring. I honestly don’t care who wins in any category except for one: Three 6 Mafia have got to win song of the year. Seriously, to have satanic southern underground crunk producers (one with a gimp arm) walking onstage and doing a speech would redeem the whole fucking thing. This is the academy’s chance to make up for not rewarding the South Park movie a few years ago.

Go Steelers

It surprises people, but I really enjoy football. It’s a strategic game which involves people ramming into each other and that talks directly to the manly instincts in my cerebral cortex. Plus it helps that living in Montreal, I can enjoy it without being surrounded by throngs of moronic sports fans. It’s a pretty exclusive fancruft so to speak. With that in mind, it’s with much joy that I await the victory of my favorite team, The Pittsburg Steelers at the Superbowl next Sunday. Last year was tremendously disappointing but this is it: ROFLburger will triumph. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The dopest website I’ve come accross recently

2006-01-30T11:09:00.000-05:00

It’s a widely accepted fact that I don’t understand any electronic music above 110BPM and even that’s being generous. Despite my appreciation for all things Hiphop and the surrounding downtempo genres of music, I don’t enjoy the club environment that much so the intricate details of Hard-acid-trancecore usually escape me. After all, I don’t want to be one of those weird people listening to dance music in his headphones, those guys are just creepy.

Still, I gotta admit that like Brownie, Ishkur has done a heckuva job with his online guide to Electronic dance music. Apart from being informative and sample-packed so a novice can learn the subtle differences between subgenres (and boy do these guys LOVE subgenres, they seem shit out a new one every two days when regular), the guide also offers so A-list sarcasm which makes the whole thing bearable. I mean, some of that music is just terribly humorous and it’s nice to have it presented as such. The Hiphop section is a little spotty but actually fairly representative of how “Electronic music” people seem to view it and it works for what it is.

All in all recommended reading for those of us who can’t figure out what our raver friends are talking about.

Ghostface’s real album cover not nearly as cool as thought + more.

2006-01-29T11:24:00.000-05:00

Boo urns. Boo urns. Seems like Ghostface Killah’s label Def Jam never meant the ultra cool Fischscale “promo image” to be construed as the cover. Instead, they’re going with the above. Now it’s not bad per say, but it lacks personality and is as generic as any other random rap cover in 06. Maybe if the blogosphere complains enough Def Jam will listen to our cries to keep Ghost raw…probably not though.

There’s actually a minor Ghost backlash going around on the internet. I guess he couldn’t hold the massive expectations of a million rap nerds forever. It’s for the best though, now that Doom and Ghost aren’t cool anymore that’ll give the geeks more time to debate their favorite Dipset mixtapes. Joy.

MF Grimm is in the news for the first time in a while thanks to his Book of Daniel diss towards MF Doom. My take? The whole beef is silly. Grimm sounds like a jilted lover and his flow on his second verse sounds like a Run DMC outtake (and not in no nice way!) Lyrically, he pulls Doom’s card a few times when he mentions how M.I.C member Lord Scotch made the mask and Megalon gave him the Geedorah alias but it’s not as if Doom ever claimed that they didn’t so it lacks impact. I guess he could fuck up Doom’s business relationships by claiming Doom thought Rza bit him and didn’t like Ghost’s style back in the day but honestly, if he fucks up Doom-Wu collabos then he’s going to have to answer to a lot of angry fanboys. Let’s hope Doom finds it in his heart to squash this because this plea for attention just comes off as sad.

Cuban Linx II details revealed

2006-01-28T13:01:00.000-05:00

Really interesting tidbits from Scratch Magazine. The full mag is well worth coping with interesting Mannie Fresh and Prince Paul shit too.

- Rza was supposed to do Meth’s entire album last summer but Meth flew back to NY to write and stopped production. RZA decided to invite the whole clan down to make a Wu-Tang album but only a few people showed up. Cappa, U-God, Meth and Ghostface (who to his defense was nursing a leg injury) were missing. - The people who were there started banging out tracks and GZA and Rae had chemistry in the studio, Gza suggested they make Cuban Linx II as a team and they agreed. Rae literally got back in his hoodies and timbs and got in the grimy mindstate. As of November 25 songs were recorded, most from Rza with Jay Dee (Baggage Handlers probably) and Scram Jones contributing but guaranteed for the album and Dr Dre a possibility. - Ghostface hasn't recorded anything for the project but promised to drop an 11th hour contribution. Rza explained that it's going to be explained in the album's storyline that Rae needed some new cats like Maximilion and Rollie Fingers for his new scheme. Gza said he can never replace Ghost but he's confident that fans will be satisfied once they hear the results. - The album was still in its extremely rough stages but Scratch said it still sounds better than anything the Clan has released post Supreme Clientele. While Scratch said they're reassured Rza said he's not going to be satisfied until it's perfect. He says that it's going to come together with the skits and everything. He also noted that he never plays his music early for anyone but made an exception for this to show that he's dead serious about this album. - The Masters to the original Cuban Linx were all lost in a second flood in 1995 (!!!!)- Some track rundowns... (4 out of the 13 Scratch heard that in they opinion better make the final cut. They also review State of Grace but you know that's dope.) Thug World (all track titles subject to change) prod Rza Raekwon: "Thug world is one of them ill hooligan tracks. A throwing chairs type of beat. Rza had to give us one those "Wu-Tang clan ain't nothin to fuck with" type beats. Scratch says: it's in the vein of Run. It'll have you hoppin over fences and benches Rock Stars and Smoking barrels prod Rza ft Gza and Inspectah Deck Rza: Gza's verse is about someone with 3 children who commits suicide. Deck comes in with a style that is so unpredictable he sounds like a whole new MC on that. The sonics just smack you in the face Scratch says: Live soundin instrumental and Deck's got an incredible double time flow on this one Kareem Khan Prod Rza and Justice ft. Gza Gza: I was going to see Raekwon and my son Justice was like, "Maybe I should play him some of my beats." That beat was the first or second beat he played for Rae. When I got to the studio that night Rae had already laid down his verse. It sounded so fat, so chunky that I had to get on it. Rae: I kept looking at Justice like, "you getting a check". Scratch says: Justice's tight drum programming proves that he's a prodigal son. No Matter how hard you Try prod Rza ft. Inspectah Deck Raekwon: I want to hear what a nigga do off an ill beat with just two drums on it. This is what I feel like the game is missing. People need to have some characters on wax instead of just being like they tough all day. That tough shit is weak, Be real, don't be tough Scratch says: Very skeletal beat. very simple drums. Very hot track.

The New World

2006-01-27T13:58:00.000-05:00

Terrence Mallick makes films that beg to be described in superlatives. Honestly, while his work is love-it-or-leave-it, I really don’t understand that whole leave it camp. What’s there not to like? While Hollywood attacks with a hundred cuts per minute and an incessant flow of pointless dialogue, Mallick does the exact opposite and succeeds every time. It’s the detractors’ loss however as the rest of us will be off trying to pick our jaws up off the floor after seeing his newest opus, The New World in an early front runner for 2006’s film of the year.

First of all, to call this the story of Pocahontas as about as reductive and inexact as you can get. That now disneyfied name isn’t mentioned once in the film and the highly romanticized legend is told in such a way as to completely remove the clichés and from the proceedings. In more concrete terms, instead of getting Troy, Alexander or any other recent Hollywood historical fallacy, we instead get an incredibly understated story of love and discovery which is as much about 2 cultures discovering each other and forever changing each other as it is about a woman. That’s not to say that Q'Orianka Kilcher is anything less than perfect as the Native princess, only that her performance and Mallick’s editing transforms her role from that of a simple person to that of a representation of the greater themes explored, all without making her a crude allegory or metaphor for a specific cause or case.

The best way to describe The New World can instead be summarized by its title itself. The film tells the tale of how the discovery of America and foundation of Jamestown by the British transformed the entire world in ways which are still being felt today. Landscapes are shot in gorgeous detail, mostly on 65MM film and the entire film revels in its sense of the undiscovered. The entire story could have been told as science fiction with Earth discovering a neighboring planet and the core emotional value of the story would have remained. While obviously we must focus on a few characters (Farrell, Kilcher and Bale) and their story works, this is first and foremost a film about exploration and discovery in every sense, both personal and colonial. It’s interesting to compare this film to one of my top10 worst movies of all time (Nouvelle France) in that the best way to shoot the discovery of America was in the least American way possible and while hopefully this puts to rest the recent string of movies on the subject, the second best thing would be for directors to take a long hard look at how it should be done.

I could go on about the visual detail, but if a picture is worth a thousand words, that’d be an awful lot of typing. Suffice to say that somewhere between the mud of Jamestown, the Algonquian forest village and the royal greeting room and gardens of London; you’ll realize that this is one amazing looking film that says as much with its images as it does with its narrative story. In a year where Hollywood has tried to lure me out with a long line of cliché ridden prestige films, it’s nice to know that I can still count on a few surprises to get me into the theaters.

Go see this movie.

Random Thoughts on the Palestinian elections

2006-01-26T16:32:00.000-05:00

If I was Palestinian, I’d probably want the strongest party representing me too.

How bad is it when the issues facing Canadian voters are relatively the same as the ones facing voters in 3rd world not-quite-a-country-yets?

All things considered, I think I’d vote for Hamas over Harper…and I’m half Jewish.

Bush bashing worked for Morales and Hamas, but not for Paul Martin?

I’d avoid taking any buses in Tel Aviv or hanging around suspected militants homes in the Gaza strip now…just a heads up.

Yes, I haven’t had much to write about recently. Hopefully I can get off my increasingly fat ass and whip up a New World review soon. Either that or a takehome assignment which is precariously due on Tuesday…so if you get an update about The Couple in the Cage don’t blame me.

Random thoughts on the Canadian election

2006-01-24T13:23:00.000-05:00

Stephen Harper and his conservative party have the right of rule and I’m glad that no one’s trying to hornswoggle power away from him…for 12 to 18 months.

The NDP doubled their seats. Now do like me and vote for them next time so they can do it again. There are choices OTHER than corrupt centrist weasels, psychotic right wing Albertans and sulky do-nothing separatists even if apparently Quebec hasn’t realized it yet.

That kick in the balls has got to hurt the sovereignist movement. When the guy in the cowboy hat wins more new seats in Quebec than homegrown nationalists…it might mean that your whole leave Canada thing isn’t quite as big as you thought.

Note to Liberals: destroy and rebuild. New faces, new ideas, no scandal and same message as before: it’ll get you back in.

The Green party STILL hasn’t won a seat. The whole campaign posters are bad for the environment thing is a real drag ain’t it?

The coverage pre-empted the Daily Show and Colbert Report. I was slightly miffed.

I can’t believe I’m going to have to do this again next year.

Nas signs to Def Jam

2006-01-23T10:09:00.000-05:00

Interesting... to say the least. I guess we can forgive Jay-Z for not immediately replying to Cam’ron’s flurry of insults as he was obviously busy with much bigger things. Kind of makes the whole beef part deux angle Cam’s running with look insignificant if you ask me. On the other hand, I see no particular reason why Nas's albums will get better really. Had the article been "Nas signs with Large Professor" or "Nas signs with Premier" then I'd be going a little crazier.

But regardless it's still nice on principle/example. Plus there's a huge upside potential if Jay-Z DOES go "son...that beat is WEAK. get something else."

By JEFF LEEDS Published: January 23, 2006 The rap superstars Jay-Z and Nas, who hurled bitter insults at each other in rhyme for years in one of rap's most prominent feuds, have reached a deal that would formalize their much-publicized recent truce and transform the two onetime foes into business partners, according to music industry executives involved in the arrangement. The long-rumored deal sets the stage for Nas to join the artist roster of Def Jam Recordings, the rap label where Jay-Z became president last year in an unusual executive shuffle. But the two stars' personal cease-fire also evolved into an unconventional treaty of sorts between their competing record labels. As part of the deal, Nas's longtime record company, Sony Music, and Def Jam will split the profits - or any loss - from his next two albums, the sources said. Def Jam is expected to lay out the cost of producing and marketing the recordings, and to divide the profits after recovering its expenses. The two music companies will jointly plan and oversee the albums' marketing campaigns. The agreement pays Nas about $3 million, including a recording budget, for each of the first two albums, and provides for two additional albums with Def Jam, the sources said. Sony also retains the right to release a Nas greatest hits album, they added. Representatives from Def Jam and Sony declined to comment. As a result of the deal, Nas's next album instantly becomes one of hip-hop's most anticipated recordings of the year. It is expected to include the first significant collaboration between two wordsmiths who long battled each other for the title of New York's best rapper. The two stars stunned fans in October, when Jay-Z was to headline a radio-sponsored concert at the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, N.J. He had titled the performance "I Declare War" and billed it as a chance to settle scores. Instead, near the end of the show, Jay-Z, announced, "It's bigger than 'I Declare War.' " Nas, dressed in an Army jacket, appeared onstage, and the crowd roared. The two performed and then embraced, ending their long-standing dispute. The rapprochement was an unusual moment in modern hip-hop, where the list of "beefs," or quarrels between rivals, is so extensive that the commercial rap field occasionally draws comparisons to professional wrestling. But there is a basic difference: the taunts and insults batted back and forth between rappers have occasionally turned into real-world violence, as when a shootout erupted between the entourage of Lil' Kim and supporters of her rival Foxy Brown in 2001 outside the offices of the hip-hop station Hot 97, WQHT-FM. Indeed, critics have complained that the industry's top rappers, record labels and radio stations intentionally stoke such tensions and imperil lives for financial gain. Some observers suggest that the rivalry between Nas and Jay-Z - regarded as veterans in a field where music trends shift overnight - had simply worn itself out. The drama of a feud "sells when you're young and you're believably in a situation where it can be dangerous," said Sacha Jenkins, editorial director of Mass Appeal, an urban lifestyle magazine based in Brooklyn. "It's just not believable from two grown men. I think they're making a unique and potentially wise business decision." Music executives at the two companies are betting it will be a lucrative one. Nas had one more album due on his contract with Sony; now the company will have, in essence, half of two Nas albums, while remaining in a position to keep working with the rapper on a variety of other projects, including a possible film. For its part, Def Jam and its corporate parent, Universal Music Group, add a respected artist to their ranks at a time when the label is trying to refresh its roster. (Def Jam also recently negotiated the exit of one of its veteran acts, DMX, who signed a reported three-album deal with Sony.) Shifts in relationships among artists have driven the two companies to make power- and profit-sharing deals before, as in the case of the rock band Audioslave (created from the ashes of the Sony rap-rock act Rage Against the Machine and the Universal grunge-rock band Soundgarden). The two companies take turns distributing the band's albums. In this case, though, Def Jam and its president will be promoting a rap star whose commercial clout has been called into questioned by Jay-Z himself. Nas, whose real name is Nasir Jones, has sold more than 11 million albums, according to Nielsen SoundScan data, starting with his classic 1994 debut, "Illmatic." (Jay-Z has sold roughly twice that amount.) Nas's most recent release, "Street's Disciple" in 2004, sold an estimated 687,000 copies, though it was a more expensive two-CD set. Before their recent reconciliation, the two had skewered each other for years in a battle in which they appeared to represent two versions of hip-hop, with Jay-Z cast as the savvy hustler and Nas as the brooding street poet. The rappers emerged as adversaries during the jockeying over who would reign as New York's top rapper after the 1997 shooting death of Notorious B.I.G., also known as Biggie Smalls. It boiled over in 2001, when the two released new albums that included songs directly attacking each other. Jay-Z, in the song "Takeover," teased his rival for selling fewer albums, rapping that Nas "fell from top 10 to not mentioned at all." Nas fired back with the incendiary track "Ether," in which he accused Jay-Z of plagiarism, asking "How much of Biggie's rhymes is gon' come out your fat lips?" Jay-Z then responded with a hastily recorded track, "Super Ugly," that described his affair with the mother of Nas's child. In an interview later on Hot 97, Jay-Z apologized to the woman's family and said his mother had called on his cellphone to chastise him for going too far. More recently, the two had retreated from their harshest criticisms, but their public peacemaking still caught many fans by surprise. Mr. Jenkins suggested that the two stars might have realized they had beaten the odds and had the chance to enjoy career longevity in the corporate music world. "In order to be productive in that world," he added, "certain things have to change and you leave certain things behind."

Ghostface Killah – Fishscale cover and Snippet (and more Wu news)

2006-01-22T12:21:00.000-05:00

Good to know that man put the Killah back in his name.

So what do you think of the cover? I definitely like it more than his Dougie Fresh tribute last time around and while it has the same over-lit over-photoshoped style of mixtape photography that’s been going around NYC, at least it’s relatively clean and simple so I’m happy. I love how they took the album title literally and used it as a metaphor for him bringing in “boatloads of fishscale” too. That’s clever, even if 90% of the people who see the album will wonder why the hell that guy is posing in front of a bunch of dead fish.

Meanwhile I got the goods on a NEW High quality snippet of Charlie Brown, a GFK solo track produced by none other than MF Doom. The quality is much better than the BBC one that's been making the rounds and it sounds dope as hell occupying that fine line between grimy and dancy with its funky uptempo drums and superhero themed sample. It’s hard to make out Ghost’s flow at this speed but it’s dope to hear him on this kind of production and obviously, he sounds on point.

That ain’t enough: Apparently Ghostface has an untitled joint with all 8 members of the clan…produced by Doom. Holy Chili Con Carne that could be dope…Hopefully Rza (who’s conveniently on the cover of this month’s Scratch Magazine) will feel threatened or something and go into hyper grimy mode if he’s not already.

Finally, I’d like to officially state that I’ve warmed up to Ghost’s first single, Back like that. I admit that it wasn’t what I expected: Ghostface had promised something real grimy and this was just…off. The Willie Hutch sample was dope but Ne Yo’s heeeeyyy giiirrrlll vocals were just on the wrong side of processed. Dozens of listens later it’s a keeper and at least as dope as Never be the same again. Plus if the rest of the album sounds like Charlie Brown, that’s a pretty good trade off.

What I’ve been listening to...

2006-01-20T11:25:00.000-05:00

1. Pete Rock – Soul Survivor 1-2
I’ve always been a big fan of Pete Rock and CL’s Smooth’s earlier records and Pete’s outside production but I stayed away from his solo albums/compilations for whatever reason. No more, the recent Pete Rock revival got me to take a look at some of his recent records and they are definitely ill. Not the oldschool layering of Mecca and the Soul Brother but definitely still lush and soulful. It should be worth noting that everytime Pete Rock has collaborated with a Wu-Tang member the results have been nothing less than spectacular. That Gza/Muggs album was tight, now what we really need is for Pete to ring up Raekwon for a full post-CL2 collabo after he’s done contributing to Ghost’s record.

2. Devendra Banhart – Cripple Crow
Been a fan of Devendra for a while now but I never actually picked up a whole album of his work until last week. Cripple Crow isn’t perfect: it goes on a little too long and has a few too many half-baked moments where he gets lost in whatever ether he inhabits, but taken as a whole it’s a nice relaxing trip through freak-folk with some eyebrow raising highlights. Long Haired Child is particularly nice with its fuller rock instrumentation and Chinese Children’s rambling-man style is another overlooked gem. I wish they played this on rock radio instead of the same damn 70’s songs over and over.

3. Eddie Hazel – Game, Dames and Guitar Thangs
California Dreamin’ is perhaps my favorite song of all time which is one of the reasons I can watch Chungking Express as much as I do. Eddie Hazel may not have the best cover version of that song I’ve ever heard (that honor goes to fellow guitar Maestro George Benson) but he comes damn close with his heavy hard rocking attempt which makes this album a must listen. For those who manage to survive that first jam, the legendary P-funk guitarist covers Lennon (She’s so Heavy) and contributes some of his own material all of which feature out of this world space solos. Sure it’s kind of masturbatory and goes nowhere but going nowhere never sounded so good.

4. Mulatu Astatke and his Ethiopian Quintet – Afro Latin Soul
Ethiopian jazz is one of those things that I should really know more about but that’s quite difficult to research. I don’t know any Ethiopians personally, have never been to Ethiopia and am fairly sure that the country’s record shops are in areas that feature gun-toting militias I’d want to avoid. Luckily the internet regularly drops stuff like this on me. The songs are all rather short and could be interludes in a hiphop record but as a whole they’re fascinating with a heavy use of vibes. Hopefully I can use these as the soundtrack to a cool spy film one day.

5. Spirit – The 12 Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus
Hippie music! Sure Spirit’s the kind of thing that’s usually better left to CHOM FM, but there’s no denying that this particular album has got all the right stuff: folky guitar, proggy instrumentals, tape loops, songs about being bald etc. I always have at least one classic rock LP going on at any given time and this week this is it.

Camron declares war

2006-01-19T01:21:00.000-05:00

Cam’ron declares war on Jay-Z (You gotta love it beyonce)

In breaking news, Cam’ron has set it off with Jay-Z with a good ol fashioned dissfest attacking the Jigga man. Among the allegations: Jay stole everything from Dame, he’s old and ugly, the guys who shot him through up diamonds, he stabbed UN over Charli Baltimore, he can’t dress, he’s corporate and doesn’t represent the average New Yorker, Cam has possibly slept with Beyonce and more.

Who knows what Jay-Z’s response will be but it’s practically guaranteed a response. My prediction? Jay-Z will win the popular vote but Dipset fans will contest this bitterly for years. But who knows, until then listen to the track here.

Dangerdoom – The Mouse and the Mask

2006-01-18T01:25:00.000-05:00

America’s craving some Doom: probably the most undeniable line on MF Doom and Dangermouse’s heavily hyped collaboration. After dropping 2004’s best and most trend-defying album as one half of Madvillain and cementing his indie cred with his second LP under his “official” name, Daniel Dumile became your favorite writer’s favorite rapper and his work with the similarly hip producer Dangermouse was destined for appreciation by the music press no matter what the results were. After all, everybody had finally just caught up with the blitz of releases he’d delivered since 2003 and props were due…with interest. Hiphopsite gave it an album of the year nod, XXL, Scratch, Urb and their ilk went bananas and while Pitchfork didn’t go crazy, it was probably due to their current fascination with Atlanta flavored adlib-rap. The scene was set for a takeover of massive proportions by underground standards and 100 000 albums later, it’s hard to call The Mouse and the Mask anything less than a success for all involved. However, beneath the favorable press and robust sales lurks a fun, yet flawed album that was glossed over by reviewers more interested in Doom’s story and position vis-à-vis rap in 05 than the content of the music. Even more interestingly, it’s the first album Doom’s delivered that actually shows the cracks in his seemingly invincible armor, despite still flying high above most of the other releases that attempted to make noise half-way through the decade.

By now it’s cliché to heap praise on Doom’s off the cuff, pop-culture appropriating lyrics, but it’s true that the man’s best moments manage to thrill by the sheer wit of his wordplay. The opening lines set the album’s tone and position his current identity: the super flow with more jokes than Bazooka Joe, a mix between Superfly Snuka and a Supa Ho. The words seem like nonsense until you realize that he’s sketched an entire character out of two bars, chewing gum, a wrestler and a Scott Larock reference. Noticeably absent from rhymed self-portrait however is the anger and street edge that Doom had until a few years back, a trait the now middle aged villain has seemingly retired for good after his Viktor Vaughn work. This is a definite throw off for fans expecting the 5% slang appeal of his 90’s creations, but something that’ll barely be noticed by his new, expanded audience perfectly content with the less threatening direction, brighter beats and brand-name concept. In actuality, the production and concept actually take a bigger hit than the lyrics which while street, never erred towards G-rap territory deriving their bite from Doom’s left-of field beat flips. Dangermouse’s sound however, while certainly not without its moments, feels far too clean and processed for a man who rhymes best on the dusty or digital soundscapes he’d previously used. Still, it works for what it is and the album’s most disappointing feature undoubtedly remains the lack of conceptual focus compared to his previous outings. Where Doom once switched his flow from his standard post-KMD style to Viktor Vaughn’s fluid storytelling, Geedorah’s brash boasting or monotone Madvillainous free association on each project, he instead forgoes such efforts here making The Mouse and the Mask his least cohesive project yet as the only thing keeping the tracks together are (somewhat annoying) skits.

Luckily, while the album falters conceptually, it’s actually quite listenable on a song for song basis. Doom essentially delivers three types of tracks on the LP: romanticized recollections of his character’s past criminal life, post-Madvillain freestyle filler and conceptual if gimmicky experiments in rhyme. The best moments are easily those where Doom brings us back to his darker days of youth; Sofa King for example re-imagines Doom’s life as a ghetto folk tale, building on the intro’s quirkiness and turning it into a rambling verse that’s half word game and half confession. Basket Case and Crosshairs meanwhile paint surprisingly vivid pictures of mental instability and lost years over the album’s most evocative beats, realizing the full potential of a DM collaboration. These tracks recall Doom’s best work of days past where he weaved his anger and frustration at the record industry throughout his rhyming for the sake of riddling. On the other hand, the album’s topic-free tracks such as Benzi Box and No names fail to excite as the punchlines lack purpose and fall flat over the tiny G-Funk light production. If Danger’s more melodic strings, bass and flute sections tend to bring out the best in Doom, his Dr Dre imitations reveal only throwaway verses that’d be better placed on someone else’s release for a quick check. Finally, the remaining conceptual jams hold the album together nicely and while not always Doom’s best moments, they fit in nicely with the album’s animated concept. Depending on your tolerance for rhymes about cartoons, talk shows and urine, these will either provoke amusement or a screwface though for my money, the rap scene could use a few laughs (and by extension perhaps the rumored joint effort with Prince Paul). Throw in guest verses by Talib Kweli (who surprisingly doesn’t suck) and Ghostface Killah (who unsurprisingly steals the show) and The Mouse and the Mask still goes down easy despite it’s flaws which is more than what can be said about the average 05 LP which should come with a prepackaged skip button.

Ultimately, Dangerdoom is the former Zev Lux X’s most accessible outing yet and easily the least streetwise since his earliest days. Hard rocks may recoil in horror, particularly when they come face to face with the man’s new hipsterised audience but despite this, most of the qualities that made the man’s music so interesting remain intact. Still, here’s to hoping that his upcoming work with Ghostface brings out his dark side and that his upcoming Madvillain sequel serves to restore his full focus. Cartoon’s are fun and have always been Doom’s thing, but he shouldn’t forget reality altogether.

Exclusive : Outkast – Idlewild movie trailer

2006-01-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

Well, exclusive to the internet.

I’m really surprised at how cool this movie looks considering how bad the average musician vehicle is 90% of the time. When you think about it, Outkast as a pair of down south blues/musichall musicians in depression era Georgia is about as creative an idea as Hollywood has had in forever and Brian Barber’s visual direction looks interesting. bviously he knows how to highlight the group’s fine points considering he’s been in charge of a good part of their music-video career. The kicker though is that last Andre song at the end of the trailer: while the era of Outkast thoughtfully breaking down life in poetic boom-bap is over, they pretty much have the pop album of the year on lock based on a 20 second snippet of a song alone. DAMN.

I’ll be back later assuming my Dangerdoom review stops ballooning out of control and I can edit that bitch down.

Chillin like a vilain

2006-01-15T13:26:00.000-05:00

Not much to report on other than the consumption of beer as I’ve recently been occupied by school and such things and both the film and Hiphop world have failed to provide much in lieu of stuff to comment on. Slug continued to his internet-posting career and broke down the evolution of his fanbase in a way which may or may not be better than the average Atmosphere song. It was quickly suggested that the heartfelt career-retrospective be put in rhyme-form ASAP, even if that’s really more of a Sean Carter thing.

I’m planning a better-late-than-never Dangerdoom review in the near future, assuming that I find the time to put it down. I’ve had conflicted opinions on this album even as it’s raced to ghetto-gold status (100K sold) as there are definitely a few artistic miscalculations that have been conveniently ignored because Doom is now officially, the shit. Still, it’s listenable and I bump it relatively often so expect a fair and balanced review, only without Bill O’Reilly’s stupidity.

Until then, I’m ghost like Swayze.

Fuck Oscar Season

2006-01-13T11:37:00.000-05:00

I hate Oscar season and the prestige movies that come with it. Before I went to film-school I used to think that these were the good movies, sophisticated works of art that I was unable to appreciate do to an overabundance of stupid lowbrow drivel, but the more I learnt about film, the less the luster of this high brow cinema impressed me. While it’s true that most blockbuster films are terribly unoriginal wastes of celluloid, an objective look at the Oscar contenders reveals them to be hardly better; the only difference is that insufferable melodrama is easier for graying boomers to swallow than brain cell killing explosions in Dolby digital. An appropriate metaphor would be the Grammies: while War of the Worlds, Stealth and Fantastic 4 are in the running for Heavy Metal album of the year, Memoirs of a Geisha, Munich and Capote are just the pop album/adult contemporary equivalent. It should be noted that neither of these categories encourages new exciting, innovative music. Now to the filmmakers credit, those last three 2 films actually look to be dependable, quality, middle of the road movies that escape their melodramatic trappings through their respective gay/Jewish/err..gay angles…but has society become so stagnant that this is the kind of art we want to encourage? I’ll see all three of those films eventually but I could have done without them hogging up the theaters all at once. Here’s a novel idea Hollywood: how about putting out some of those films in the summer when we’re all desperate for a respite from the blockbusters. On the other hand I’ll probably be at a film festival where I can escape the sordid mess that has become mainstream American cinema.

Meanwhile, the 2 films I actually want to see, Matchpoint and The New World haven’t been released here yet. Hopefully they come through soon because otherwise I’m probably going to have to settle for Gay Cowboys and you know that I won’t make it through the screening without busting out a Southpark joke no matter how emotionally affecting the film is. I guess I just can’t get excited about Ang Lee bringing depth and emotion to ANOTHER genre that really didn’t need it. Wasn’t Wuxia and comics enough? Don’t get me wrong, the gay angle doesn’t bother me in the slightest: in fact it’s probably the film’s sole innovative/intriguing element. But my point is I have no real predilection towards cowboy romance in the first place so why am I suddenly supposed to appreciate it because it’s two dudes? Let’s face it: the movie would have been gay even had it been straight.

And that’s the word.

Ghostface tracklisting for Fishscale

2006-01-12T11:49:00.000-05:00

There’s never anything to review in January.

The investigative journalists over at Fader have been on their grizzly harassing Def Jam raps until they got a tracklisting for the upcoming Fischale album from the one and only Ghostface. While the man hasn’t had an album come out correctly since the millenium on account of sample clearance, I’ve got to admit that the lineup is pretty impressive:

1. Shakey Dog (prod Lewis Parker)2. Kilos feat. Raekwon (prod MoSS)3. Be Easy (prod Pete Rock)4. Charlie Brown (prod MF Doom)5. Barber Shop (prod Studio Steve)6. Big Girl (prod Ghostface)7. Bricks feat. Biggie and Raekwon (prod Cool & Dre)8. Dawn feat. Capadonna (no producer info)9. Back like that feat. Ne-Yo (prod Xtreme)10. Chunky (prod Pete Rock)11. Wu Joint (prod MF Doom)12. Clips of Doom (prod MF Doom)13. Whip You With A Strap (prod J Dilla)14. Dawn feat. Capadonna & Trife (prod MF Doom)15. Rae & Ghost (no producer info)16. Underwater (prod MF Doom)17. Can Can feat. Shawna & Shareefa (prod Ghostface)18. Crackspot (prod Crack Val)19. Family Affair (prod Pete Rock)

Now obviously there’s some stuff in there that’s likely to change (for one thing there’s a track title listed twice) but as a whole one can gleam the feel there going for with this album with this one: seems to be a slightly more obtuse yet still light version of the oldschool soul+oldschool Hiphop from the Pretty Tony album. The Biggie collabo is weird, if only because it’s pretty clear that these guys didn’t like each other at the time but I guess a leftover from the blasphemous duets album (I didn’t review that because I’d have to listen to it again) might help sales in the eyes of Def Jam execs. All in all there’s at least 10 or so tracks I’m really interested in hearing here with the potential for more so I expect something at least on par with Ghost’s last album.

In Raekwon related news meanwhile…there’s not much. But the man did speak on Cuban Linx 2 as being the album fans want…not what what I want which is probably a good sign if Rae wanted to put out those last two boring releases. Rza is still apparently on board for most of the project.

Slug vs. Pitchfork : fight!

2006-01-11T11:00:00.000-05:00

I occasionally dabble in the arcane art of message boarding and while some people push this facet of the internet to nerd-fests of huge proportions, I undoubtedly learn much from my time there. This week featured some interestingly explicit words from indie mogul Sean Slug Daley of Atmosphere towards indie-geeks Pitchfork media. While I’ve called Tom Breihan and Peter Macia (among others) retards, this is the first time I’ve heard accusations of racism and they don’t always wring falsely. Take a look:

"i think the point about pitchfork (and other faux-intellectual music review sites) trying to obtain street cred is an important point. i also think that there is an undertone of racism involved with these review sites. not on some, "hate black people shit." but moreso on some, "we relate to blacks acting like mean mysogynistic, homophobic, shoot gun savages shit." because that's obviously the black experience right? but fuck eminem right? and fuck dead prez right? naw...fuck pitchfork. ps they hate my music over there, so even my review of them is biased. who wins? you do. the consumer. you get to decide where to put your money and your mouth. blah"

An unconvincing opening salvo perhaps (and one supposedly taken out of context), but it was rapidly followed up by even harsher and this time, harder to rebuke words:

say what you want about me and my music. it doesn't negate my point, which by the way, is way out of context on this site. those statements were made during an already ongoing discussion on a different board. they were a response to someone else, not a rant. i stand by the racist theory. mostly because i've met and dialogued with a handful of the writers i was referring to. only thing that unvalidates my opinion is that they do review my work. which means i could have agenda. i respect that. however some of y'all shit on my records way worse than they do, and i don't come out the pocket to call y'all names or discredit your opinions. i respect your opinions. i do not respect these psuedo-intellectual indie rock fucks sucking off young jeezy this year, when last year i met them behind stage trying to sniff coke with their favorite white underground rappers. i do honestly feel that they are accidentaliy perpetuating racism in an effort to be "down." if they understood the streets, and understood what actually makes juelz as dope as he is, maybe i wouldn't feel the way i do. but they don't get it. their world is no where near it. so i don't buy it. they just jump on it because it's funny/exciting to them. i bet they watch the hoodfight dvd's with their buddies, and break down how important it is to pop culture. i bet they tivo "cops." nonetheless, i can't rap for shit, so my opinion don't matter anyway. at least i can respect why a funk docta or an akbar feels how they do. they love hiphop. but seriously... pitchfork? whatevs. peep the new p.o.s., soul position, and brother ali in 2006. can't stop the bumrush.

Damn. I’ve always suspected those guys of being shady but those are some hurtful, hurtful words. While I’ve assessed that I’m not a fan of Slug’s music (though the chicks at his live show are another story), I do respect the fact that the man built his company from the ground up and they’ve released some very good records. Beyond that, it’s getting harder and harder to look at Pitchfork’s Hiphop phase as just that…something they’ll put down as soon as it’s inconvenient.

More quality Hiphop Journalism from Pitchfork. AKA crap.

2006-01-10T11:33:00.000-05:00

There’s a lot of ado about Pitchfork media supporting Trap-Hop (a name which I support because it’s the kind of thing that can kill a musical movement dead in its trap) over backpack/nerd/underground/indie rap (which is on life-support anyways). Now personally this is a lose-lose situation in that while Jeezy and company can be fun, Pitchfork has no context to evaluate them and their sudden shift towards the rejection of authenticity can lead to written diarrhea like the following reviews:

GZA [ft. RZA and Raekwon]: "Advanced Pawns"genre: hip-hopThe career trajectories of these three Wu-men could not be more disparate. GZA, once a lead contender for fave Clansman, has relented to elder figurehead, spitting with all the vigor of a PTA treasurer. Even his lyrics fall back on the rehashed blind/deaf/dumb swordsmen shtick that he rode to eminence a decade ago. Cousin RZA, however, with Miami Vice money falling out of his pockets, takes the DJ Muggs cathedral organs/Halcyon drums and bumbles lovely about dreams of iMac-10: "Welcome to the beehive, dual processors with the G5/ There's not a tape or a disco break that I can't revive/ In this high-tech world of FireWire and microchip/ We still keep the 4-5 clip filled with the spiral tip." Please let that lyric have been penned by Steve Jobs over a shared Tofutti Cutie. Chef fires four forgetful bars-- assumably (hopefully) because he was so busy finishing up Cuban Linx 2-- doing nothing to improve the track. [Peter Macia]

Right...this would be a nice lil diss session if the track didn’t come out awesome and was appreciated by pretty much everyone who knows jack shit about Hiphop. Unfortunately, Pitchfork seems to have thrown the baby out with the bathwater, rejecting not only backpacker rap but ALL of rap pre…well… PRE-PITCHFORK! But surely, at least they can’t mess up negative reviews about stuff that deserves it right?

Xzibit [ft. Diamond D]: "We Dem Niggas"genre: hip-hopI'm not sure what "dem" mean here-- maybe "desperate for attention"? Xzibit hasn't changed up since "Paparazzi". He's got a great growl, but so does Canibus, the main difference between the two being their fateful pairings with Dre and Wyclef respectively. Here, devoid of Dre (or whoever claims to make Dre's beats), Xzibit offers little more than rote bitch-rap, the "bitches" being everyone but himself and Diamond D.
If you don't know Diamond D, he's an old dude who made a great record 13 years ago. He's a producer, but he likes to rap on his records. He is not a rapper, but he does sound comfortable on the mic, like, about-to-fall-asleep comfortable. All that was exceptional about his production has been replaced by harp plucks and a metronomic drum tick, but it's nothing that can't be saved by Pac's cousin singing the hook. At least I hope that's his cousin. Otherwise, this track is not funny at all. [Peter Macia]

Somehow I think they’d put up a mighty stink if I said that Pavement was some old band who dropped a great record 13 years ago. Yet they continue to treat Hiphop like some disposable new come fad to entertain them on days where they haven’t got enough indie-rock record promos to review. I’d be tempted to place the blame squarely on Peter Macia but another typewriter monkey could have put out the same shit so I won’t dignify him with credit for this stupidity. Suffice to say that if these guys intend to write about rap records that don’t feature Lil Wayne, they’re going to need Hiphop writers that actually know what they’re talking about.

13 Hiphop albums I’m looking forward to this year

2006-01-08T14:06:00.000-05:00

In lieu of content, I mention things in list form.

I think of 2005 as a decent year in rap music, relative to the post 2K standard. While there was no mind blowing revelatory record ala Madvillain, the art form seems to have spread out in every direction giving us quality oldschool albums (Gza vs Muggs), weird underground psych shit (Quasimoto, Edan), cartoon rap (Dangerdoom), Thug rap (The Clipse, Sean Price, the Game), purely underground records (Cunninlynguists) and a whole variety of southern music. The album format certainly isn’t as strong as it used to be but it’s hard to argue that even the most superficial rappers nowadays can come out with a crazy single. That said, I’m a mid 90’s baby at heart and the Long-player format remains my favorite, so here are 13 full lengths that have got me hyped for 06. There’s other stuff that I’m moderately interested in hearing and some stuff that could potentially be dope but this is all the stuff that I’ll hear regardless.

1. Ghostface – Fishscale
2. Ghostface and MF Doom – Swift and Changeable
3. MF Doom and Madlib – Madvillainy II
4. Raekwon – Only Built for Cuban Linx II

Yeah, my top 4 albums are by a small select group of people working together. Despite my snapping on Ghostface’s single, it’s not that bad and the final production lineup on Fishscale (Doom, Dilla, Madlib, Pete Rock, more) has the potential to be downright incredible if Def Jam doesn’t fuck it up too much. Regardless, his collaboration LP with Doom Swift and Changeable is pretty much guaranteed heat so things are looking good as far as Tony Starks goes. Meanwhile Madvillain will (probably) deliver the sequel to their classic debut which should be nothing but perfection. I know it’s not cool to like underground/indie stuff anymore but since when have I been cool? Finally, Raekwon and Rza are in the lab working on a little something called Cuban Linx II. The first single State of Grace still sounds butter to my ears and Rae recently spoke on a Wu-posse cut called House of Flying Daggers which is apparently top notch. All of these look to be must owns.

5. Saigon – True Story

I’ve been interested in Saigon since I first read his unsigned hype piece in the Source many moons ago and copped his 12’ inch single on Rawkus. Flashforward to 06 and he’s ready to drop his album backed by Just Blaze, Jay-Z’s former A&R and Newsweek magazine. If one new mainstream cat blows up in 06 as was custom in recent years with Game, Kanye and 50, I hope Sai’s got next.

6. Nas – Nasdaq Dow Jones

The title’s corny, the beats could suck and Nas has totally lost focus in his middle age making John Lennon/Yoko rap but I must include this for one simple reason: to maintain the hope that Nasir Jones will deliver another body of work that while not necessarily of the Illmatic caliber, is at least as good as It was Written. Besides, there’s bound to be at least a couple of bangers on it.

7. Cormega – Urban Legend

This could end up at the top of the list this time next year and the only reason it’s so low is because Cormega has taken his sweet time with it. Cormega’s been blessing us with everything from reissues to compilations but this will be the definitive test for Mega and the album that could put him in the rap A-list definitively. One of the most interesting things about Cormega seems to be how self-aware he is of the quality of his work and thus his promises that this is his best work yet actually means something. The snippet of the Premo produced Days of Reality points towards a winner as well.

8. Outkast – Idlewild

Outkast gave up their introspective, southernunderground approach after 98’s Aquemini and it’s been strictly intelligent-pop-music since but thankfully they’ve revealed themselves to be incredible musicians even if the poetic lyrics have been put to the side. Sure I’m no fan of Andre3000’s overly sexed up lyrics (bring back his depression raps!) and the threat of ragtime rap scares the bejeesus out of me but they haven’t fucked up yet so I’ll give em a chance…

9. Jay-Z - ????

He’s gonna put out an album and you know it. Let’s hope it’s more solo than Dynasty but that may be a bit much to ask.

10. Cannibal Ox – Untitled

Cannibal Ox have sucked since approximately 5 minutes after their debut album dropped, but the prospect of a totally reunited crew (including El-P) and guest production by Pete Rock and Rza has got me interested. Could be the comeback of the year.

11. Cam’ron – Killa Season
12. Brother Ali – The undisputed Truth
13. The Clipse – Hell hath no fury

Don’t know much about these, can’t wait for em to drop.

Who Stole Memphis Soul - Mp3 download

2006-01-06T16:19:00.000-05:00

You may or may not find it sad to know that this update was delayed by a 10 year old videogame.

I’ve recently come into possession of a LOT of soul music from Stax records. I’m not trying to imply that I have every single err…single they’ve put out but I’m pretty damn close in terms of A-sides. Thus, it’s with great pleasure that I present to you Who Stole Memphis Soul? A mixtape of grand proportions. Obviously it was impossible to show 15 years worth of music in 19 tracks and thus even important artists like Sam & Dave and Martha Thomas are absent but I tried to touch most of the important bases. So what'll you find? New samples, used samples, instrumentals, single edits and more. Stax was definitely a shaolin favorite but I avoided the HUGE Wu joints because those have been out for a while. I did include some stuff that could have been Wu had RZA owned the singles at the time though. I didn’t concentrate specifically on hits as such things are pretty pointless and arbitrary to me: as long as it sounded good to my ears it made it on. So go head, Download it.

Also, for those still interested in my New Years resolution: its well on it’s way to biting the dust. I forgot how the pain of repetitive work requires me to numb my senses.

The Good news, the Bad news and the ugly.

2006-01-05T10:11:00.000-05:00

Breaking news: Jon Stewart to host Oscars!?!

Well that will get me to watch. I swore I wouldn’t go anywhere near the thing after last years metaphorical kick to Scorsese’s cojones but I guess the academy has found a way to rope me up into their 3+ hour gala of prestige films and shenanigans again. Of course, it helps that I can’t be possibly disappointed by the winner considering the films I really loved this year aren’t anywhere near contention. Actually, scratch that, I will be disappointed, no…FURIOUS if Crash wins. I don’t even hate Crash so much as I believe it to be cheap and overrated. Plus the whole cult-of-Paul-Haggis has got to end.

Ghostface announces album date and releases…a really bad single

Well this is some bitter news. While on the upside The Ghostface Killah has announced that his album will drop February 28th which means I can start counting down the days to 2005’s first great release but on the other hand, the single from the album…sucks. I honestly tried to get behind the soul beat but honestly the overproduced R&B production is on some weak bullshit that just does NOT work. The silver lining is that Ghostface comes correct on the mic even if the whole thing is basically an even wacker retread of his previous crossover attempt Never be the same again. Speaking of which, didn’t anyone notice that it didn’t work the first time? Anyways, if it’s one song on the album it might work but if I hear anything else like this from Fishscale, I’m gonna be mad.

If you want it, find it elsewhere.

Weed sobriety update

Ok, yesterday was real tough. I was both tired and bored which is the perfect condition for a nice little bowl. Thankfully I ended up on MSN for half the night and read for the other half so I’m still holding strong. The current goal is to reach Saturday without dipping into the emergency stash as that would be a complete week off.

Jon Stewart, where art thou?

2006-01-04T10:14:00.000-05:00

My main obstacle in my campaign against smoking weed seems to be the total lack of entertainment available between 12 and 1 AM. Sure there’s network comedy but even the once robust antics of Conan O Brian have fallen flat in recent years as he repeats his shtick ad nauseum. So my question is…what gives Jon Stewart? I thought your 2 weeks vacation was done and it was back to TV with you and your motley crew of newsmen. Sadly this isn’t the case and you’ve seemingly decided to extend your period of rest past sensible limits. For shame because there was a lot of funny news you could have made fun of recently.

Meanwhile, I go back to school today after a far too brief break, if one can call my short respite from academics that. Between takehomes, work, Christmas and such things I think I had somewhere between 3 to 4 minutes of total rest and that’s a fairly liberal estimate. Additionally, this term involves not 1 but 2 additional courses to beat me into submission with their workload, which would be bad except they don’t look all that difficult. Still, I’m going to need to cut down on my work hours if I’m ever to have any hope of a social life. By just how much I will assess soon.

I’m currently in the finishing stages of a grand project. By grand I mean I started it yesterday and it came out pretty spiffy so I’ll finish it tonight and put it online in my next update. Despite it’s short production time caused without any doubt by my ADD and inability to commit to long term creation, I really think it’ll be quite a revelation for the uninitiated and entertaining for even the connoisseurs. Kinda like my dic- ok I won’t go there.

Finally, my condolences to the families of the miners who died yesterday. No one deserves to be toyed with like that.

Harry Knowles actually writes a decent top 10 list

2006-01-03T11:44:00.000-05:00

I’ve begun to hate year end film lists because they are incredibly drab and boring. Despite my efforts to save the medium with my awesome beacons of truth, most critics seem to have fallen under the delusion that their choices somehow count for the Oscars so they end up promoting the blandest, safest, whitest pieces of PC crap imaginable. I mean in all honesty, how many more times do I need Brokeback Mountain or Crash shoved down my throat? I mean anyone who has any remote interest in those films will have already seen them anyways so why bother? Do you get a free screener or something?

So it’s with much shock that Harry Knowles actually delivered one of the most honest lists out there. You heard right, I actually agree with Harry Knowles. Now the man is perhaps one of the ugliest people whose picture you could google, the biggest geek you could have a Star Trek argument with AND he overhyped Kong. Those are generally no forgive actions in the parlance of our times, but he actually had the balls to promote some unknown, varied and original stuff in his picks and I can respect that. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not all that difficult to tell me Match Point and The New World are going to rock and are going to rock and bigging up Myazaki and Chan Wook Park isn’t exactly finding some new unknown talent but at least his scope is wider than the average associated press hack’s. Hell, even Ebert’s list was trite as hell this year as he gave Paul Haggis yet another BJ while trying to pass off 2005 as a great year. So a tip of the hat to the fat man, I’ll check out those samurai and Danish puppet movies…and I’ll even finally give Hustle and Flow a chance.

Sobriety Now

January is a weed-free month for me. While it takes away from the seriousness of my main posts (as if anything praising Harry Knowles could be serious!), I plan on using this space to note my observations.

Day 2: I find myself far more awake and focussed in the mornings even 2 days later. I have had minimal difficulty quitting smoking as of yet, but the real challenge should come later this week when I go back to school and work.

I’m back! With a LIST!

2006-01-02T11:13:00.000-05:00

I had this neat little intro set up for this but it got deleted. What a way to start the new year. I’ll summarize: Happy New Years. I got drunk. I stole this concept from SiuFung.

Sach’s top 50 moments of 05!

1.     The Tsunami disaster kills and ruins thousands upon thousands of lives. No one has figured out how to make that funny yet.

2.     50 Cent and the game have beef! A million diss songs are written. Somewhere Dr Dre wishes that he had produced Funkadelic instead.

3.     Dave Chappelle goes apeshit, drops his show and goes to Africa. Token Latino replacement not nearly as funny.

4.     Martin Scorcese is ROBBED once again at the Oscars. My friends and I vent our rage via MSN.

5.     Terrorists attack London. The British wag their fingers condescendingly.

6.     Speaking of which, the Colbert Report becomes one of the funniest shows on TV after a slow start.

7.     Houston becomes the rap city of choice thanks to a guy with a cellphone, a wigger with diamonds in his teeth, half of UDK and a giant country dude. An Atlanta rapper still steals the southern title.

8.     White people continue their slow realization that there’s more to rock music than Nickelback style angst-rock. Indie music thrives.

9.     The movie industry sucks. All focus groups point out that the cause bad movies. Harvey Weinstein steals the soul of an accountant and eats it in protest.

10.     Peter Jackson releases a decent Kong remake which is ruined by the cynics.

11.     Huricane Katrina bitchslaps the US. Luckily it hits the black part.

12.     George Bush doesn’t care about black people. Kanye West reminds the US at most awkward moment possible.

13.     Wong Kar-Wai’s 2046 is released. He somehow makes me feel sympathy for a guy who turned down Zhang Ziyi.

14.     Sin City proves that with a huge amount of technology, an allstar cast, a co-director, a guest director and a revolutionary graphic novel as a shot-for-shot guide, Robert Rodriguez can make a good movie.

15.     Micheal Jackson goes free. White America jails cosmetic-surgery equivalent Lil Kim as punishment.

16.     The Boondocks goes from funny comic strip to funny anime.

17.     Family returns with a hilarious new season and movie. The movie is actually 3 episodes slapped together.

18.     Too many people care about the following: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Vince Vaugh, Jennifer Aniston, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, Ashton Kutcher and best of all etc.

19.     Not one of the above are involved in a good movie this year except possibly Vaughn (thanks to Owen Wilson)

20.     Harry Potter 4 disapoints due to an extended scene right out of the OC and a major lack in direction. It’s still better than most Hollywood trash.

21.     Tom Cruise is freaky.

22.     The good vegetative state pope dies. His replacement looks like Senator Palpatine.

23.     An Earthquake hits Kashmir. Tragically, unlike the Tsunami it comes at a fiscally poor time and donations stall at around 3 bucks and some pennies.

24.     China’s large wang makes the US uncomfortable. US feels better when it realizes that the wang is metaphorical.

25.     Iran acts a fool.

26.     Iraq becomes hell on earth but with democracy!

27.     Penny-Arcade hold a gaming convention, raise 500K for sick children, beat an evil attorney, invent a fake LOTResque wiki and still find time to play WOW all day.

28.     Other webcomics do…not so much.

29.     Live 8 rocks for Africa. Africans unimpressed.

30.     X-Box 360 has pretty graphics.

31.     My tour of Europe goes over better than Bush’s tour of…just about anywhere actually.

32.     USA realizes George Bush is a fucking MORON!

33.     Disaffected Arab youth riot in France. French scared shitless.

34.     Disaffected white youth riot in Australia. Australians talk about it over a keg or 3.

35.     Disaffected politicians topple the government in Canada on their 3rd try: population does NOT care.

36.     Gas costs a lot of money.

37.     Belgians win big at Cannes.

38.     No one cares who wins at any film festival in Montreal.

39.     Sundance style indie movies annoy me and hopefully force Wes Anderson to switch up his style.

40.     Hugo Chavez becomes the new Castro.

41.     The Arcade Fire officially becomes the new Bowie.

42.     The New Star Wars doesn’t suck.

43.     Grime hits the sub-mainstream but the media stops caring after Lady Sovereign gets signed.

44.     Fantasia rocks the world.

45.     The Wu-Tang clan shows signs of greatness but 2006 is the real test.

46.     MF Doom becomes dangerously over exposed.

47.     Hunter S. Thomson goes out the way he wanted to.

48.     Did I forget a disaster?

49.     The planet manages to not blow itself up for another year.

50.     Blogging becomes cool thing to do when I make mine. Not a second before.

Sach’s end of the year international music mp3 bash

2005-12-29T12:18:00.000-05:00

My two days of rest are treating me well; so well in fact that I’ve decided to give the ol’ blog a proper update. I’ve been bumping a variety of sounds and songs from around the world recently thanks to increased activity on my favorite sources of raer mp3s so let’s get right into a nice lil holiday mix for your New Years morning recovery.

Tomokawa Kazuki – Thank You for My Despair

A heavy track by the man last scene singing to the sound of chopped torsos in Izo, Thank You for my despair is over the top emotional acid folk in the best way possible, articulating pain, suffering and all that nasty stuff in a way that’ll have even the hardest of hard rocks feeling it. Tomokawa is apparently Japan’s answer to Bob Dylan though I’d personally qualify him closer to a mix between a surrealist, Tom Waits and ODB. Plus this one is en anglais for all of you Japanese-adverse music fans.

Boeing Duveen & The Beautiful Soup – Jabberwock

Everyone has at least heard of Lewis Carol’s famous nonsense poem and some of the creatures/language held within but sadly too few people have heard a chance to hear it put to music: crazy, sitar laced psychedelic jazz-pop music at that. Pretty much a straight forward retelling of the story set to awesome mid 60’s production, I can’t recommend this one enough.

Serge Gainsbourg – Cannabis (instrumental)

Serge Gainsbourg is best known as that perverted old man who just happened to make music, but this one thankfully comes sans creepy breathing and whispered advances. The theme of a movie by the same name, Cannabis is a big rockestral theme that could have only come into existence at a time when the world was busy marketing their stuff to hippies. Featuring awesome drum fills and a killer guitar line, it’s hard to hate.

I Wayne – Life Seeds

I honestly don’t know much about this one. Apparently part of the roots revival currently going on in Jamaica as we speak, I Wayne’s entire album is devoid of the heavy percussion, synthesizers and slackness prominently featured on the standard dancehall platter nowadays, instead featuring organic if clean instrumentation and lyrics chanting down Babylon. While he’s occasionally preachy as hell, if you’re like me you won’t be able to tell through the patois anyways so you might as well zone out and relax to his soothing sounds and leave the message to those who gwan listen. This opening track is honestly the only essential thing I’ve heard but the rest of the record works pretty well even if it could have been cut down by about 6 tracks. So burn a blunt and enjoy the good vibes. Seen.

Demon Fuzz – Disillusioned man

Demon Fuzz released an album called Afreaka. That should be enough to get you interested but for those who aren’t yet, here’s a soul-rock jam that could have been among Santana’s best early material, only without the self-agrandising guitar solos. Perfect world-rock music with a funky/jazzy jam thrown right in the middle.

Workin through the Holidays

2005-12-26T13:28:00.000-05:00

I am alive.

Although I still have 2 days of work before a merciful 2 day vacation. Working retail through the Holidays (and I do mean straight through) is a perverse experience I wish on no one. There is no way to rationalize how mind numbingly annoying it is to be the only one working while the rest of the city/country/world is out getting drunk or relaxing. Hell, even you’re particularly brave like me and you are drunk at work in the first place, it’s nothing like the feeling of being able to chill out and not worry about things. Sure you’re getting overtime pay, but it’s not worth it, particularly since a small minority of people turn into 100% genuine assholes round X-Mas. My defense mechanism of course has been to abandon all human civility: yesterday I lied, warned, extorted, raised my voice and subtly threatened customers in order to get my way. It wasn’t pretty but it worked and I honestly don’t give a flying atomic burrito fuck about some peon who’s renting The Exorcism of Emily Rose on Christmas anyways.

Also interesting, porn rentals jump way up around Christmas so I’m guessing people get lonely when they don’t have an orifice to penetrate. Gay porn in particular was moving like crazy yesterday…I’m guessing some closeted cats couldn’t go see their family. My response? I don’t care, go fuck yourselves…oh you were gonna do that anyways? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

In more cheerful news, I have acquired almost every Wong Kar-Wai film released including 2046. I guess I’m missing In the Mood for Love but I’ll get it soon enough, plus it was never a favorite. What’s more important is that I can now play Chungking Express whenever I feel like it. Also acquired during X-Mas were 2 Hiphop related books, one of which I have already devoured. For this I am thankful

Finally, today is the 1 year anniversary of the Tsunami disaster. I know people who’ve been personally affected by this tragedy though luckily not in a serious way. Still, I’d like to invite everyone to take some time to be thankful for all the good things that they have in life and how lucky they are.

Yes, I know that’s contradictory after bitching about work, but what can I say? I’m thankful but I’m also very pissed the fuck off.

Happy boxing day cunts!

Sach

Happy Holidays

2005-12-22T18:36:00.000-05:00

I’m taking a couple of weeks off for Christmas. I’ll write something if it comes to mind, but regular updates are off until school starts sometime between January 4th and 10th. Until then enjoy your consumer orgy!

Sach’s end of the year Hiphop list

2005-12-20T17:02:00.000-05:00

I don’t really know what to make of Hiphop anymore. The New York purist in me wants to lament it as dead as a doorknob but the realist in me recognizes that the soul just left the Mecca and has been spreading itself in Houston, Chicago, Atlanta, LA and even…London. With that in mind, here’s a list of albums I liked. More to come.

1) GZA vs DJ Muggs - Grandmasters

The best pure NY Hiphop album of the year period point blank. Muggs delivers on the beats (many of which are several years old) and GZA delivers lyrics for days. What really sets the album apart however is how the skits and beat progressions tie the whole thing together as an album. In a year where too many cats through 22 tracks on a disc and called it a day, it’s nice to see that the vets can still craft full length statements. This statement? That the vets never left.

2) Kanye West – Late Registration

The antithesis of Muggs and GZA’s boom-bap, Kanye West delivered the pop album of the year in Hiphop form. This thing just sounds expensive: harpiscords, strings, keys, synths, choirs…it’s all there and thanks to co-producer Jon Brion and Kanye’s remarkable chemistry it all works. Even the lyrics were kicked up a notch and tracks like Drive Slow, My way home and addiction will satisfy even the stuffiest purists. Sure it’s over the top but it’s damn good.

3) Quasimoto – The Further adventures of Lord Quas

After delivering one of the best albums of the millennium as half of Madvillain, Madlib obviously felt he had carte blanche to go over the deep end and that’s just what he did on this weird piece of psych-rap. There’s maybe 50 different musical pieces in this stew combining loops, vintage keyboards, rapping, scratching and pretty much anything else you can think of. Critics will claim the Quas voice is annoying and that it’s unfocused but I’d still rather hear this than your average indie-ground rapper. THC based album of the year.

4) The Clipse (Re-Up gang) – We got it for cheap vol 2

A mixtape in my top albums list? Yeah, mostly because the Clipse jacked every hot mainstream beat out this year and made it their bitch. While NO ONE gives a fuck about the other two guys, Pusha and Malice are pretty much the best coke dealers-turned-rappers out there today and this tape is a testament to that fact. Skip Yayo, Game, Mobb Deep, Common, Cassidy and even Juelz’s album: get this and get what counts. Besides, if they actually go back to dealing coke they might get caught before Hell Hath No Fury

5) Edan – Beauty and the Beast

Edan is one of those outsider kids who don’t really play with anyone else in the greater realm of rap. Sure there’s a Percy P guest spot and a couple of his peeps but this thing really doesn’t sound like anything else in rap right now and it’s all the better for it. As perfect a blend of 60’s psychdelia and Hiphop as you’re likely to get, Edan gets high points for creativity, technique and execution even if he could use a haircut and his interviews are little on the pretentious side. NOT nerd rap.

6) Cunninlynguists – A Piece of Strange

Seemingly their last release under this name (and before they hope to blow up), A Piece of Strange does the concept album thing well even if it lacks some of the humor and laissez faire of their previous releases. Their secret was probably evolving naturally over the course of several albums rather than trying to deliver a single self-important piece of work (we’re looking at you Tonedeff) out of nowhere. Kno’s beats and Deacon’s singing are the high points here and hopefully we’ll be hearing more of that in the next year as their production team picks up steam.

7) Lil Wayne – The Carter II

I’ll write up a separate section for southern Hiphop (cuz I’m rapper racist) but Wayne transcended that on account of his focus on lyrics, flow and spitting rather than coke, gangsta tales and club anthems. With a bunch of absolutely A-level songs, Wayne jumped way ahead in the young-rapper-race and ain’t no one doubting him no more. The only question left is if he’ll build on the boundary breaking Shooter to become the next Outkast or if he’ll stay in more grounded rapper territory. Either way looks good to me.

8) Dangerdoom – The Mouse and the Mask

I never reviewed this album because I was pretty conflicted: on one hand my mind says this is the laziest Doom album yet but on the other my gut says to lay back and enjoy it. Sure Dangermouse delivers a few “wannabe Dr Dre” beats and Doom delivers a bunch of guest-spot quality verses, but there’s also the brilliant stuff like El Chupa Nibre, Sofa King, The Mask, Old School, ATHF, Basket Case, Cross Hairs, Mince Meat, Vats of Urine and Space Hoes. The fact that I just listed 2/3rds of the album as brilliant explains its place here: even when he’s lazy, Doom’s just ill.

9) Sean Price – Monkey Bars

Sean Peeeeeeeeeee! The most honest rap album of the year, Sean Price went for broke on this one calling out rich rappers, his wife, his kids, the listeners, himself and pretty much anyone responsible for Ruck being the brokest rapper. While Buckshot struck out due to his over-reliance on 9th Wonder, Ruck perfectly chooses his selection to make for one great album. Besides, it’s not like the rest of NYC was doing much…

10) The Game – The Documentary

Dr Dre put together a great album. That pretty much sums it up. Gangsta pop at its best.

Thirstin Howl III vs Roger Ebert...on WEED.

2005-12-18T14:32:00.000-05:00

I find myself without much to write about because I’m sure as hell not going to start my Hiphop top 10 list (which will make my film one look tiny in comparison) and my brain is currently rattled from excessive use of White Widow. Now I smoke a lot, but I’m not quite used to this high powered stuff and it certainly leaves me in a stupor to say the least. No biggie though as I’ll get used to it and be back up to snuff soon enough. In the meantime, here’s some entertainment:

Fuck You did a nice lil retrospective on Thirstin Howl III a couple of days ago. Thirstin was one of those rappers that I feel should have blown up to Redman/Method Man/Busta Rhymes level popularity in a just world but alas, the industry was divided between Ruff Ryders and Rawkus when he was coming out thus killing any chance that a clever, witty ex lo-life could get a deal. Still, his single Brooklyn Hardrock is a classic in my eyes the combination of broken logic punchlines, Galt MacDermot samples and that crazy British chick is still dope as fuck to this day. Whatever happened to that Brit anyways? She could make a major comeback considering she’d out Sovereign Sovereign.

Roger Ebert’s Top 10 list and mine share zero common films. This either means I have bad taste and should be beaten with a newspaper like a naughty puppy or I’m an avant-garde progressive on the forefront of what’s hot. While I’d like to think I’m the latter, it’s worth noting that Ebert’s entire list is American/Anglo which is a severe restriction nowadays to say the least. Also, my American picks are in the Jury prize section which as Ebert puts it: At film festivals, the "jury prize" is how some jury members urgently signal that this is the film they like better than the eventual winner. It's not second place but somebody's idea of first place. I dunno how this works out when the only person on the jury is Ebert but I’m betting that the arthouse critic in him liked those. Either way he’s got pretty much every good American film that came out this year on that page so that’s as succinct a reference as you’re likely to get for Hollywood 05.

Sach’s Top 15 Films of 2005 – Part 3

2005-12-16T11:44:00.000-05:00

05. 2046 by Wong Kar-Wai

It’s inevitable that the long awaited epic by my favorite filmmaker was going to make this list, but it wasn’t inevitable that it was going to be as excellent as it turned out to be. Torturously made over several years, shoots and ideas, 2046 arrived stateside as a sequel to Wong’s last film, In the Mood for Love. While I wasn’t as big a fan of that film as some critics as I prefer the wild Wong of Fallen Angels to that more mature one of the latter years, 2046 finds a perfect middle ground maintaining the classy nostalgia of it’s 60’s era while being a little looser than it’s predecessor. Of course, it’s impossible to not fall in love with the women in this film as Chris Doyle shoots them with the kind of devotion and heart that only the best can and William Chang completes the artistic team by tying it all together with incredible set design, editing and anything else that needs to be done. Sure, the sci-fi scenes from the aborted version of this film could definitely have been trimmed for pacing (though we want to see them in a full length!) but that’s hardly enough to prevent me from putting this in my top 5. Now hopefully Wong’s next film won’t take 5 years as this is dynamite stuff. That and Nicole Kidman (!?!) only promised him 2 of her time.

My full original review

04. Survive Style 5+ by Gen Sekiguchi

This film left a sold out auditorium at Fantasia with a big dumb grin on their faces for good reason: it’s just the coolest weirdest movie that came out this year. To call it psychedelic is a disservice to drugs: drugs won’t have you seeing shit this crazy or funny or colorful. Director Gen Sekiguchi’s advertising background shows as everything is parsed into short, gonzo vignettes but then he ties everything together as a life affirming tale that puts all the psychotic behavior in perspective. I know I haven’t actually mentioned any of the story here but that’s moot: I won’t spoil a thing (unless you read my full review), just believe me when I say that this is an example of the best kind of artistic excess as boundaries are shattered and minds blown throughout the film. The casting is of course perfect as Asano delivers one of his best roles ever and Vinnie Jones (!?!) steals the show as a foreign hitman. Oh and there’s bird dad. And psycho girl. And advertising girl. And the gay thief. Don’t ask, just go buy a DVD and thank me later.

My Full original review

03. Broken Flowers by Jim Jarmusch

Like 2046, there was no way this wouldn’t make my top 10 list but I have zero guilt including it because it’s so damned good. A total return to classic form for Jim Jarmusch after years of messing around with genres and ideas on the side, Broken Flowers seems to pick up where his 80’s movies left off except his once 28 year old hipsters are now in their 50’s and facing up to a lifetime of disconnect. A Beautiful film about the meaning of one’s loves through life without being corny in the slightest, Broken Flowers is a testament to the artistic talent of Jarmusch as well as his star Bill Murray. While Sophia Coppola and Wes Anderson have given Murray excellent roles in the past few years, it’s Jarmusch that has given the man the perfect vehicle for his dead pan, latter day humor and the boy does he take advantage of it. A supremely under the radar film (I demand award nominations!), Broken Flowers is America’s best. Also worth noting: Sharon Stone as a milf.

My Full original review

02. Oldboy by Park Chan-Wook

Yes I know. This movie came out in Korea in 2003 AND the bootleg was on this side of the Atlantic in 2004. Sue me, I waited to see it in theaters and it was worth it. Probably the best suspense/thriller since the glory days of Fincher and Pitt, Oldboy feels like the kind of film Alfred Hitchcock would have made had he been a modern day Korean man and told to do something really nasty. Of course, it’s a little early for full on Hitchcock comparisons for Park Chan-Wook but there’s no doubting that the man made an honest to god masterpiece with this film: every shot is simultaneously cool and resonant with meaning, every character is perfect and the story is told in such a way as to leave you absolutely flabbergasted by the end. Even the score manages to do more with classical style music than any film in recent memory as the flute, piano and violin themes will stay stuck in your head for hours later without ever becoming annoying. I haven’t even gotten to the superb acting by Choi Min-Sik and already the film seems like something otherworldly, a strange and frightening piece of art that dares you to see it…but what will happen when you do? An excellent Christmas gift for the non-squeamish.

And finally…my number one movie is…

01. Mindgame by Yuasa Masaaki

What the hell, let’s just re-run my original review for kicks. There’s not much more I can say about it.

It’s with a certain amount of awe that I say that Mindgame is one of the best feature length non-episodic works of animated art that I've seen in my life. One that reaches back to Avery, Jones (Chuck, not Mike) and Bakshi while also looking towards eastern European animation, the best headfucks of anime and psychedelic creations like the Savage Planet and (specially) Yellow Submarine. Of course, this is what's going through the viewers mind as he attempts to pick his jaw off the floor. In reality the director Mr. Masaaki Yuasa, while perhaps influenced by all the above stated that he simply adapted a manga he liked. In the words of a bad actor: Whoa.

The aforementioned Yellow Submarine is a good starting point for the "feel" of the movie (part of it anyways), only instead of a nice little storybook world, the LSD in this film is constantly shifting and moving at hyper speed. In a unique break from the tedious assembly line design style of recent Japanese animation, the film layers visual style over visual style like samples in a Beastie Boys record, shifting from scene to scene and even from shot to shot. When I say this pushes the possibilities of animation, I'm referring to the fact that each shot uses an appropriate visual style disregarding the previous. Where a scene may be mostly "cartoony", a shot with a lot of detailed emotion would be rotoscopped. It works tremendously well and I hope it'll inspire animators in Japan to go the extra mile (I doubt it) because if a 4-5 person team can accomplish this than Oshi and Myasaki should be making god knows what with that man labor.

In addition to Yellow Submarine, another Beatles reference is appropriate: Sgt. Pepper. With each scene completely shifting in style yet maintaining the fun, positive style; the different sequences almost feel like songs on a well made concept album: interconnected yet individual in cord structure and melody. I would give a plot summary but even the Fantasia Guide says too much: suffice to say its simultaneously action packed and thought provoking. That's high praise.

In conclusion, if you liked Katamari Damacy for the Ps2, Earthbound on the old SNES, records by Dela Soul, The Beastie Boys or the Beatles or are simply a fan of animation I urge you to see this film anyway you can. It's that damn good. An hour earlier I'd just seen the incredibly trite melodrama Place Promised In Our Early Days which lead me to state that "Anime jumped the shark...there hasn’t been anything groundbreaking since Eva."

I think my first words after Mindgame sum my thoughts on that issue nicely:

I take it all back.

And that is why this is the best film of 2005.

Happy New Years Film Geeks.

Sach’s Top 15 Films of 2005 – Part 2

2005-12-15T11:21:00.000-05:00

Back with part II where we get into the real top 10, the nitty gritty films that had me bugging out in the theaters this year. Let’s get into it shall we?

10. Good Night and Good Luck by George Clooney

The most old fashioned of all the films on this list, Good Night and Good Luck impressed audiences through the sheer power of a well told story. Wisely shot in historic black and white, George Clooney’s second foray into directing proves that Confessions of a Dangerous Mind was no fluke and that he’s actually got quite a vision as a director. Of course, it helps that he continues to surround himself with capable people, but you can’t blame him and his team for doing a good job, now can you? In addition to being a good look at the fall of McCarthyism, the film also undoubtedly acts as an allegory to the current cowardly media situation in the US, making it all the more relevant. At a time where politics should be the least of Hollywood’s concerns, it’s brave to see someone stand up for what he believes in, making a point without bashing people over the head with it Michael Moore style. Probably too small and singular for an Oscar nod compared to the giant monkeys and gay cowboys, Good Night and Good Luck remains an interesting and extremely relevant film and one of the few that accurately capture America’s mood in 2005. Ironically by capturing the mood of the 50’s.

My Full original review

09. The Taste of Tea by Katsuhito Ishii

Sharkskin Man, Peach hip Girl, Ishii’s previous film, had a lot of interesting elements to it but lacked in the pacing and originality department resulting a lot of flash without much substance. The Taste of Tea in contrast, shows remarkable maturity and has an interesting sense of peace about it, flipping it’s odd pace from a liability to an asset. Essentially a psychedelic look at family life, the film continues Katsushiro Ishii’s tendency towards slow paced narratives but stuff like that works a lot better in an observational comedy than a gangster pastiche making it a much better showcase for his work. Featuring some absolutely absurd and hilarious moments including this year’s single greatest musical sequence (YAYAMO!!!!), The Taste of Tea is the perfect film for those who want something new and exciting without a huge influx of rapid fire visual stimulation. Plus it features the stunning Anna Tsuchiya: I’ve already mentioned her twice in this top 10 list so trust me, she’s hot. Incidentally, if Asano’s in it too…wouldn’t it be weird if their American equivalents (say, Johnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan) did a film like this?

My Full original review

08. The World by Jia Zhang Ke

The most ponderous, depressing and heavy film in this list, The World is also among the most important and brutally realistic works of art that you could have seen in 2005. Taking place in a Beijing theme park which recreates the wonders and sights of the world for Chinese tourists (who can’t leave the country incidentally…), the film examines that negative space between communist doctrine and capitalist reality that so many workers fall into and get trapped within. A nihilist film if there ever was one, The World doesn’t really show much faith in anything and no one really ends up all that happy; but for all its gloominess, it’s a great inside look at a country that’s described as a world dynamo, an expanding juggernaut and the next Empire. Proving that things aren’t all good nor bad behind the propaganda, The World is a human look and human beings still trying to figure out where they fit in the world torn between tradition and cell phones, money and idealism and communist dictator ship and capitalist savagery. Definitely one for the DVD shelves, now let’s hope that China keeps letting him make films (this was Jia Zhang Ke’s first legal project).

07. A History of Violence by David Cronenberg

I didn’t like this film that much the first time around but on second look it was definitely a lot better than I first gave it credit for. A deconstructionist look at violence in America, it’s pretty easy to fall into the trap of taking everything Cronenberg throws at you at face value, but the film goes much deeper than that. Digging into that uncomfortably animalistic part of humanity, the Canadian master of horror manages to make a film just as creepy and disturbing as his gore-fests of yore, only without the gross out factor. Sure the scene in the mansion is unsatisfying and over the top but that still doesn’t derail a fine film and proof that Cronenberg’s name deserves to be up there with the big boys. Plus the film features the best all out brawl between teenagers and the best sex scene you’re likely to see this year…you immature jerks.

My Full original review

06. Kung Fu Hustle by Stephen Chow

I saw this film three times, in three different mindstates on two continents and that’s just in theaters. The ultimate pick-me-up film; Kung Fu Hustle takes the audience back to a simpler time where Bruce Lee could defeat evil with the sheer power of his martial arts skills and where the bad guys never win…because they’re the bad guys! But in addition to being a fun old school chop soccky, Kung Fu Hustle is Stephen Chow’s love letter to cinema, layered with so many references to everything from Shaw Brothers flicks to Fred Astaire to Warner Bros cartoons than it’s hard to keep track of everything. The excellent cast of oldschool martial artists looks like they’re having as much fun doing this as we are watching and of course, the comedy is top notch. The heir to Chaplin’s thrown if there ever was one; Stephen Chow easily takes home the prize for most universal humor as I can’t see anyone from any culture not finding this man funny. See it for him stomping on a bald eagle, see it for No more Soccer! See it because it’s the film this year most likely to leave you with a smile on your face by the time it’s over.

Sach’s Top 15 Films of 2005 – Part 1

2005-12-14T11:00:00.000-05:00

So here it is…in 3 parts: my top 15 film list. Towering over other top 10 lists by err…5 entries, it is a masterwork in that it reveals everything you truly needed to see this year. Many may argue that this information would have been a lot more useful 365 days ago, but it took a lot of time to type. Seriously though, this is a good guide to this year’s cinema that was both formally and stylistically innovative and interesting and loads of fun. Obviously my usual biases remain intact so you won’t find any French melodrama or much Hollywood pap here, but this isn’t a nerd fest meant to alienate the viewer either. If anything, these are films that will make you both think and smile and as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best you can hope for in a movie theater.

15. Three Iron by Kim Ki-Duk

Critics seem to either admire Kim Ki-Duk or flat out detest him. It’s understandable; his films are slow, distancing works of art that also happen to be absolutely cruel in their representation of females. This is enough to turn off both those who want action and those who want to see women in roles that don’t involve them getting kidnapped, beaten and pimped. Personally his work always left me cold, but he seems to have turned a corner with Three Iron, an almost totally silent love story. While the film’s narrative aspect is hardly its strong point, Kim manages to combine poetic imagery to remarkably interesting characters (for mutes) and he keeps the misogyny in check (the woman beater is inequitably bad in this film). Not the fastest film in the world by any stretch, but anyone with some time to spare and an interest in art film will be happily surprised by Three Iron as it’s a touching example of what can be done with a good idea and a camera.

14. Izo by Takashi Miike

Boy did people hate Izo at Fantasia. The film seems to have been trashed by all but a minority of die hard Miike fans and film scholars impressed by the film’s formal achievements. Count me in the later category because frankly I stand by my opinion that Izo is a brave and interesting experiment in film and a work of art that rewards those brave enough to dare to experience it. Obviously those who despise anything explicitly experimental will want to avoid this one but that’s their loss, the minority this film is aimed at will be enthralled by its heavy existentialism, crazy warping of temporality, vague references to mythology and astounding violence. Call it Miike does Jodorowski with a little Resnais and Bergman thrown in the mix. Plus, it may well include the most slashings via samurai sword in film history.

My full original review

13. Kamikaze Girls by Tetsuya Nakashima

It takes a lot for me to like a coming of age story about 2 teenage girls. Slapstick, absurdity, action and most importantly Japanese sensibility are some of the things that helped me get past Kamikaze Girls’ well…girlyness to appreciate it for what it is: a fun action-comedy that’s really more original and entertaining than anything in megaplexes this summer. It also helped that Anna Tsuchiya is smoking hot and Kyoko Fukada is no slouch herself. Throw in crazy pop-editing and a ridiculous storyline and you have a movie you can subvert your girlfriend with. I found myself laughing and smiling during this movie at times where I’d usually be rolling my eyes at the corniness. Proof positive that if done in an interesting and original way, good old fashioned senseless entertainment can still excite even the most jaded and crusty among us (IE: me). In a word: fun.

My full original review

12. Sin City by Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller

Sin City was probably the most innovative film of the year visually (save maybe Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children) but unlike other computer generated spectacles in Hollywood, it backed up its digital fireworks with interesting content and *gasp*…formal innovation! True, some may grumble about having Frank Miller essentially do a shot for shot adaptation of his graphic novels from paper to digital celluloid, but it’s definitely an idea that worked and compared to every other comic book adaptation that was thrown upon us by Hollywood in 05, it was gold. The classic noir plot of Miller’s work has already been praised to high heavens, but the praise was well deserved as the stories of cops, hookers, thugs and corrupt politicians resonates with a realness far exceeding most empty Hollywood plotlines. Of course, the look of the film is the high point and I must say that while it didn’t convert me, it certainly made me less apprehensive about Hi-definition digital technology. Above all though, Sin City is a quality film that combines all of the above to become a worthwhile viewing experience and an artistic achievement. Hollywood put out far too few of those this year.

11. Dear Wendy by Thomas Vinterberg

In my review a month ago, I said that the film while excellent wasn’t mindblowing. This is true, but in retrospect I’d like to add that it sticks with you and leaves a strong impression which is far more than I can say for other films I was perhaps more generous to this year (The Constant Gardener for example). Writen by Danish iconoclast Lars Von Trier and directed by the occasionally despised Thomas Vinterberg, the film does more with American actors, conventions and culture than pretty much anyone in America in 2005. An examination of violence, nerds and adolescence, Dear Wendy’s world is colorful and well defined making it an extremely fun film despite the heavy subject matter. While definitely cashing in on the cool factor of pop music, pop editing and a general pop sensibility, the film still retains the simple truths behind Von Trier’s script which could have easily been made in the same minimalist style as Dogville. Luckily for us though, that’s not the case and Vinterberg’s lighter interpretation of the material suits the film well. Not yet in wide release, catch this one if comes by your town in 06 and tell em Sach sent ya.

EDIT: Turns out that this film got bashed during its European release. I personally think it deserves a second look.

My full original review

Jamaica Inn - The Term Paper

2005-12-13T17:40:00.000-05:00

I’m Finally done. God damned thing nearly killed me. Here it is, without further ado, possibly the world’s most insightful paper on Jamaica Inn ever. Copyright Sacha Orenstein and all of that jazz. Quote me as a source but don’t steal it. Bad karma and what not. Oh, and there’s no index photos online yet.

Jamaica Inn
Introduction: Critical Reception: the form and style of Jamaica Inn
If we are to believe popular critical opinion; Hitchcock’s final British film Project Jamaica Inn was a rushed, minor film labored upon while the director was busy attempting to negotiate a contract with Selznick International Pictures. Hitchcock’s own words to Truffaut describe the film as a project agreed to in desperation and one he never truly controlled: “Realizing how incongruous [my relationship with the producers] was, I was truly discouraged but the contract had been signed[1].” While both audiences and critics were generous to it upon release, praising Maureen O’Hara’s performance in particular, the unfavorable view of the film caused by a difficult production is the one that has survived and become more or less canonical among those studying the director’s work. How could such a discrepancy between the original positive reception and the latter day dismissal be possible? It’s with a fresh eye that I propose that while not a masterpiece by any means; Jamaica Inn is a quality film with stylistic and formal traits unaccounted for by critics content to relegate it to a footnote between The Lady Vanishes and Rebecca.

Charles Laughton’s over the top performance and the acting in general has oft been a point of question about Jamaica Inn, yet there has been little attention to the film’s surprisingly interesting minimalist visual style, the very aspect that put the emphasis on the performances in the first place. Hitchcock has ably shot a film dominated by atmospheric sets, camera work and editing without much in lieu of resources or budget, giving the film an almost theatrical quality. For those who believe Hitchcock put no effort into the film, one has only to look at the early sequence in which a merchant ship capsizes and is accosted by the Cornish pirates. A montage heavy affair involving rapid cutting on action and varying points of view, it stands as the film’s visual highpoint and one showing the director’s prescience and planning. That Hitchcock then delegated post-production work to producer Erich Pommer, proves that through simple shot choices and editing instructions, the former had already planned and constructed the film well ahead of time and it was only a mechanical procedure to get it in camera[2] and cut. Hitchcock’s precise way of filming to achieve accurate final results without concentrating much energy in the post production process makes it clear that from the initial visual design to the final cut, he was doing more than going through the motions. Thus, while analyzing Jamaica Inn, I intend to examine where and how this “throw away” surpasses the norm but also where despite good intentions, the stylistic choices fail due to either material constraints or simple bad choices.

Set Design: Success and failure in Jamaica Inn
One can identify five major locations in Jamaica Inn: the interior of the inn itself, the interior of Pengallan Manor, the rocky cave covered coast of the shipwrecks, the final scene’s harbor and the barren “exterior” surrounding these locations. Visually, the inn and the exteriors are the most interesting elements, deriving their charm from their unabashedly crude nature though also dating rather poorly. The painted backdrops and artificial terrain[3] fail from a realism standpoint (even by 1939 standards), though the film gains a theatrical minimalism from this flaw contributing to its uniqueness. Long shots of the Inn in particular, reveal it to be a craggy, twisted structure (or super imposed model), owing its design to the aesthetics of German Expressionism, barely standing, caving in on itself in certain parts while protruding from others[4]. Whereas the model buildings in Hitchcock’s previous film The Lady Vanishes were realistic for the time though perhaps unremarkably functional, the inn exudes a foreboding character, remaining central to the proceedings despite a severe lack of budget. Indeed, Jamaica Inn doesn’t actually demand much visually and likely wouldn’t improve dramatically with richer surroundings. In moments where action is necessary, the film’s set construction reveals itself to be surprisingly dynamic; the detailed shipwreck for example is filmed in a way which makes the waves and environment seem quite realistic. It has been noted that Hitchcock was merciless during the filming of those scenes and that an Edwin Greenwood, an actor, died due to complications stemming from pneumonia caught during an extremely long wet shoot[5]. If anything, this uncompromised attitude shows that Hitchcock was definitely unwilling to accept substandard work, tinkering with the sequence until it was perfect and camouflaging the perhaps rudimentary decor. The result features numerous camera angles and fast cutting giving the battle an energy and focus perhaps missing from the more pedestrian sequences which were more easily composed, thus revealing design flaws. The outside of Pengallan Manor, for example seems assembled out of little more than two columns and a wall placed against the film’s false horizon[6], becoming more of a prop than a set so to speak. Such intrusions alongside substandard back projection and matte paintings certainly hurt the film, but as a whole they also contribute in part to its odd style: the simplicity of its theater like backdrops leaving much to the imagination without being out of place.
Still, one remembers that while most of Hitchcock’s previous film (The Lady Vanishes) took place in a single setting outside of its introduction and conclusion, it had far superior production values and its miniatures still remain impressive to this day. Additionally, the director’s following film and first foray into Hollywood (Rebecca), translated another DuMaurier novel in far richer tones, again reinforcing the idea that Jamaica Inn is an ugly duckling in Hitchcock’s catalogue. Despite these accusations against the production however, Hitchcock would work with Set designer Thomas Morahan twice again on The Paradine Case and on Under Capricorn years later and would ask to work with camera man Harry Straddling on Rebecca (to Selznick’s displeasure), indicating that it was most likely a lack of time, funds and interest on Hitchcock’s part that hurt the film rather than a lack of talent. The attention lavished on certain scenes such as the shipwreck was clearly not maintained through out the whole production.

While the film’s exteriors shifted from extremely creative to thrown together and substandard, the film’s interiors are more detailed and realistic but no less distinct from one and other. For instance, the inn’s twisted insides easily match the exterior’s expressionistic squalor: stone walls are illuminated directly causing huge shadows, stairs and walls seem too big for those inhabiting them[7] and the twisting layout gives this “ogre’s dungeon” a maze like quality. The film’s storyline calling for Maureen O’Hara’s Mary to evade her uncle in a game of cat and mouse, it is my opinion that more than any other, this set is perfectly suited for the film as its atmospheric visual style combined with its functionality, allows for one of the film’s most suspenseful scenes (the escape of Trehearne). While far from the technically perfect grandiosity found in Rebecca, the set’s visual starkness complements the somewhat overstated performances, tying the minimalist exteriors and classicist acting to a more realistic set as best possible. In contrast to the squalor of the inn however, Pengallan Manor is nothing less than a finely crafted environment, immediately setting it apart from the rest of the film and even its own outside façade. Yet for all of the attention to detail, the mansion still resembles a cardboard cutout: hollow and unbelievable. If the inn had a certain weight to it, resembling its owner, the brutish Joss, the manor seems light and fabricated much like Laughton’s over the top performance. The disparity between the props and the sets themselves is equally distracting: the dinner table scene takes place surrounded by seemingly authentic chairs, candleholders and other accessories yet the walls around them are undeniably constructs[8]. Similarly, when Trehearne and Mary arrive at the mansion after their escape, the close up shots are effective but when the main hall is seen in longshot, the mansion looks rather artificial.

The disparity between the sets and the subsequent lack of visual cohesiveness is the film’s greatest stylistic flaw. While certain sets exude charm and character (the inn) and others are simply effective at telling the story (the sea shore) and more still seem out of place (the exteriors, the manor), it is clear that there is a lack of unity between them. The spectator can rationalize this as the barren desolate world that the people live in is diametrically opposed to Pengallan’s mansion making him seem even more villainous, but the narrative does not reinforce this notion as Pengallan is shown as a pitiful rather than detestable villain at the film’s conclusion. The environment of Pengallan’s death is in fact even more distracting as we now find ourselves in a busy harbor completely separate from the previously stark countryside we’ve been introduced to throughout the film. Thus, from a stylistic angle, it is safe to say that despite some interesting characteristics, the film’s set design while not ill adapted to the story, fails to convey the reality of the film’s era. Hitchcock himself disliked the film, thinking of himself as a poet of modern times ill suited for period material[9]. Surprisingly though, this would not be his final foray into the genre as he would continue to adapt such works in later years.

Criticism of style: Montage and Suspense.
Having examined the set design of Jamaica Inn in depth, we can conclude that while certain elements were interesting in retrospect, it was often too little too late to save the film. Francois Truffaut in his conversations with Hitchcock did not mince words: defending Under Capricorn, he said “even if this picture was a flop, it can’t be put in the same class with Jamaica Inn. (…) it is clear you believed in it.”[10] The assumed belief that Hitchcock put no effort into Jamaica Inn however, belies the stylistic quality of several sequences of which the initial shipwreck and pirate attack is easily the most impressive and flamboyant.

Lasting three minutes and fifty four seconds from when we first see the ship (3:18) until the final shot of the waves (7:12)[11] and composed of no less than 69 shots by my own count*, the sequence includes many formal elements overlooked by critics, most of whom were perhaps caught in the intensity of the scene, content to label it as generally impressive and then move on. The 0.28 shot per second average of the sequence for example seems extremely fast paced compared to most cinema being done at the time and while it’s unfair to compare to the pace of a single action sequence to that of an entire film, the number of shots in the sequence is by far over the average of standard western filmmaking of the time if we are to believe Barry Salt[12]. Additionally, the sequence is rendered even more dynamic as the aggressive waves tend to result in illusory in-camera “cuts” or “wipes”[13] further contributing to the dynamic pace of the scene (and incidentally foiling my repeated shot count). Further more, repeated viewings of my DVD copy revealed the presence of jump cuts within the sequence such as when we see sailors falling off the ship. These are a major point of contention: were frames of the print used to make the DVD damaged or was the effect voluntary? None of my research has indicated any acknowledgement of the cuts though again, this is perhaps due to a lack of thorough analysis of the sequence by most authors. If one is to believe that these are legitimate cuts, it’s then interesting to note such a strong cinematic rule being broken so early in history as at this point conventional editing was the only accepted form of montage outside the Soviet Union and Japan. The only reason one could assume such a technique was used would be for purely visual reasons as the cuts serve to increase the chaos inherent in the scene and the speed at which the perspective shifted. Final judgment on the matter however, should be reserved until further comparisons between versions of the film can be made though the scene remains the undisputed highlight of the film regardless.

While the shipwreck sequence was by far the most stunning visually, Hitchcock’s oft noted use of suspense is most noticeable in the escape sequence from Jamaica Inn. While outside of the traditional paradigm defining style and perhaps unquantifiable compared to camera movements or cuts; suspense in Hitchcock’s oeuvre can be interpreted as stylistically interesting as his ability to combine technical camera and editing choices with narrative elements was unparalleled and was the cinematic calling card that lead him to Hollywood’s attention. However, an examination the escape scene and the film’s construction as a whole reveals that while the use of suspense is unusual and unique compared to most Hitchcock films, in this case it is also flawed. Beginning 28 minutes into the film when Mary discovers a way to observe Joss’ proceedings through a hole in her room, the sequence in notable in Hitchcock’s canon as the audience has an omniscient view of the situation. Whereas Hitchcock has often relied on at least partially hiding elements from his characters and the audience, the only withheld information in this case is Trehearne’s identity as a lawman which is revealed in a matter-of-fact way later on. Hitchcock himself noted that it was a whodunit (…) logically the judge should have entered the scene only at the end (…) therefore it made no sense to cast Charles Laughton [as] the justice of the peace[14]. Thus the suspense in the scene does not arise from the audience’s questioning of who is behind the shipwrecks but rather the more direct question of how Mary will help the victim of the hanging. While it would have been typical to see Joss disappear off screen to meet with his mysterious benefactor leaving the audience in doubt, we immediately learn of Pengallan’s role in the plot and the attention instead shifts towards Mary’s cutting of the rope and subsequent rescue. The result is formally awkward: a mystery which relies on the audience knowing what the protagonists do not. When Trehearne returns with Pengallan later, the noble deftly maneuvers, playing both sides against each other with surprising ease (infuriating the “plausibles” as Hitchcock called them) but revealing little new information to the audience. By the time Mary has averted the final shipwreck, the film’s conclusion seems inevitable. Hitchcock’s over the top finale ends the film on a high note though, as Laughton’s literal fall from grace is a suitably shocking visual end to a film which lies between an interesting aesthetic minimalism, a high intensity exercise in montage and a rushed classicist period piece production.

Conclusion: a closer look at Jamaica Inn
In my opinion, Jamaica Inn deserves its reputation as one of Hitchcock’s minor films thus disproving my initial assumption. While I do believe that it is unfairly overlooked, the film does not succeed as a whole as weaker elements prevent it from gelling cohesively as a quality work of cinema. That said, the set design of the inn itself and the Shipwreck scene are two particular elements which are unfairly forgotten as quality accomplishments in Hitchcock’s career, the latter being an extremely precocious example of montage which seems impossibly out of place at first glance. In conclusion, I believe that this film is worth examining, if not only for its own merits, than to dispel its reputation as a film of little interest. There in lies its paradox: Jamaica Inn is a film of great interest, though of rather minimal actual success.

Bibliography
McGilligan Patrick. Alfred Hitchcock A life in Darkness and Light. Harper Collins, September 2003
François Truffaut-Hitchcock: revised edition. Simon & Shuster, February 1984
Barry Salt –Film Style and Technology: History and Analysis Chart given in class. Starword
David Bordwell, Kirstin Thompson – Film History: An Introduction, University of Wisconsin-Madison, McGraw Hill, 2003
David Bordwell, Kirstin Thompson – Film Art: An introduction , University of Wisconsin-Madison, McGraw Hill, 2004

Filmography
Jamaica Inn – Alfred Hitchcock 1939
The Lady Vanishes – Alfred Hitchcock 1938
Rebecca – Alfred Hitchcock 1940
Sabotage – Alfred Hitchcock 1936

[1] François Truffaut-Hitchcock: revised edition Page 122. Simon & Shuster, February 1984

[2] McGilligan Patrick. Alfred Hitchcock A life in Darkness and Light Page 219. Harper Collins, September 2003
[3] See Index 1-1
[4] See Index 1-2
[5] McGilligan Patrick. Alfred Hitchcock A life in Darkness and Light Page 225 (interview with Gilliat). Harper Collins, September 2003
[6] See Index 1-3
[7] See Index 1-4
[8] See Index 1-5
[9] McGilligan Patrick. Alfred Hitchcock A life in Darkness and Light Page 228. Harper Collins, September 2003
[10] François Truffaut-Hitchcock: revised edition Page 187. Simon & Shuster, February 1984
[11] See Index 1-6
* Several of my counts resulted in different numbers but 69 seemed to be the most reliable. The shot per second average I used was based on this number (69/246 seconds=0.28sps)
[12] Barry Salt –Film Style and Technology: History and Analysis Chart given in class. Starword
[13] See Index 1-7
[14] François Truffaut-Hitchcock: revised edition Page 122. Simon & Shuster, February 1984

Workin and consumin Donuts

2005-12-11T13:04:00.000-05:00

I’m somewhat busy with Jamaica Inn after a bit of a break from working on it as I wouldn’t want to give in my work late. Heaven forbid.

I am listening to Dilla’s new record Donuts though. Well, the promo version that leaked recently that is. It’s a very dope record, the kind of thing that would only be possible through those crazy kids at Stones Throw so god bless em for keeping it progressive but soulful. Structurally, it reminds me of a less stoned take on Madlib’s Beatkonducta concept with a little more focus thrown in for good measure. This doesn’t mean you’re not getting a bunch of minute and a half song fragments that will never be used but at least you don’t feel that Dilla randomly riffled through his discs and called it an album (not that there’s anything wrong with Madlib doing that). Listening to this DOES make you wonder why Common is always picking Dilla’s absolute most sappy, boring material though.

In addition to Donuts, Dilla’s also got the second volume of his Welcome to Detroit series (tentatively called The Shining) on the way next year as well as a self-titled (compilation?) effort which by the guest list (Common, Q-Tip, D’Angelo, Talib Kweli) would indicate something a tad more neo-soulish.

Good to know the man’s on his grind and is recovering from his recent health issues. And between this Donuts album and Kankick’s album, I’ve got a bunch of beat tapes to zone out to until Madlib drops…whatever he drops next I guess.

Lil Wayne – The Carter II Review

2005-12-10T14:04:00.000-05:00

Fuck it. Weezy shocked me. It’s uncontestable that 2005 was the South’s biggest year in Hiphop yet as they’ve dominated both commercially and artistically. Let’s face it, I love NY Hiphop as much as the next man but at this point I like it for what it is. Not what it has the potential to be. Southern Hiphop meanwhile is a constantly changing animal not content to rest on its laurels, demanding the respect that it’s never been given. Unfortunately, despite this drive, NY has always beat the south in one particular category: albums. 2005 was no different as Slim Thug and Chamilionaire slipped on the crossover, Paul Wall and Mike Jones stayed too boxed in to their local sound, Jeezy lacked depth and Bun B’s disc was more of a celebration of his status than anything new. All of the above had tremendous songs but none of them stood up to GZA, Doom, Sean Price, etc on the long players…

But have no fear. Here it is: 2005’s best Southern Rap album. Lil Wayne. The Carter II.

It’s as unexpected a success as can be imaged. While Lil Wayne has often shown flashes of brilliance, from 2000’s aptly titled tha blues to last year’s surprisingly robust Carter, nothing indicated that he had what it took to really play with the big boys. Turns out that all Wayne really needed was a little motivation and a change of scenery. Last year Wayne moved to Houston, went to college, grew his dreads out to Rasta lengths, lost his hometown of New Orleans to Katrina and separated from his long time maestro producer Mannie Fresh. It’s this last point that stands as the most important element to The Carter II, along with Wayne’s hunger for respect. While Mannie Fresh is undoubtedly one of the best southern producers of all time, it’s painfully obvious in retrospect that he wasn’t the right channel for Wayne anymore. Fresh’s beats are mostly happy, bouncy, electro, dancy, synthesized. Wayne is fierce, raw, uncut and uncompromised. He was Mannie’s dynamic opposite and while their combination made for some good records, Wayne has finally found a way to cut loose and deliver the heat he was born to spit.

The lineup seems inconspicuous at first glance. New York’s Heatmakers have a couple of tracks and Cool and Dre drop a beat but otherwise it’s strictly unknowns. Surprisingly however, Weezy’s gambling pays off in spades as the album is playable front to back. Think about that. From beginning to end. 21 tracks. When’s the last time you could honestly say that about a southern album? While southern aficionados may say I’ hating, I honestly can’t remember. Hell, even the obvious crossover move Grown Man works if you take it for what it is. The beats are eclectic but all of them fit in perfectly into Wayne’s southern Hiphop gumbo mixing bounce, screw, funk, blues, electro, boom-bap and g-funk into something entirely different. Naming highlights is an exercise in futility: Tha Mobb, Fly In, Mo Fire, Best Rapper alive, oh no, the Carter II, Receipt, Feel Me… the list goes on…

And then there’s Shooter.

I’m not the first one to say it. This could be Wayne’s Stan, his Troy, and his Shook Ones. The song he’ll be remembered by. Starting as a blue-eyed soul ditty, the track slowly builds up into a huge blues rap funk jam until the instrumentation is so dense the whole thing threatens to collapse under its own weight. And then…Weezy. Lil Wayne delivers two verses worth of A-list bragging cementing his spot as one of the best emcees out there. He’s not talking about much. He’s certainly not talking about crime except metaphorically despite the title. In fact he’s not talking about anything. He’s just talking. Spitting for the joy of spitting and demanding respect while doing it because he knows that he’s got that shit. And in his case that’s enough ton carry the whole damn song.

The whole damn album in fact.

Lil Wayne’s mission statement on The Carter II might as well have been respect. There’s nary a wasted moment, an off beat flow, a wack beat. The man barely even stops for the god damned hooks, occasionally blacking the fuck out and just rapping until he can’t rap no more. The album doesn’t feature Wayne the gangster. This is Wayne the rapper, the musician, the artist. If more people were as concerned with beats and rhymes as Wayne is instead of the amount of coke or units they ship, Hiphop would be in a much better state.

The way I’m describing this album is perhaps a little over the top. Maybe I’ll regret this review in 6 months, it’ll age badly, show off its warts, not sell. But fuck it, as of now this is one of the best releases in 2006. Congrats Birdman Jr.

Fuck it. Weezy shocked me.

4.5/5…maybe more.

Killa Cam – Get em Daddy remix video

2005-12-09T15:49:00.000-05:00

80% of the searches leading to my blog are Dipset related. This is somewhat scary because I never intended to go out and make myself Diplomats central but if that’s what the people want, then that’s what I’ll give them, today in video form. As I’ve previously mentioned, I’m definitely looking forward to the Killa Season movie, for comedic value if nothing else. The idea of a rap musical has long gestated in the back of my mind and while this definitely won’t be the over the top Hollywood extravaganza I’ll hopefully make one day, it’ll still be a hilarious for the sex and violence if nothing else.

As for the video it’s pretty standard stuntin from the Dips. The track itself is more interesting than the visuals as it reduces the taxing posse cut of the original remix down to a more manageable combination of Cam’ron’s stellar post shootout verse and Hell Rell’s thuggery. Again, nothing unbelievable per see but these guys are probably reppin for NYC the hardest without pretending its 95-98 so props to them.

Sometimes, I entertain Myself.

2005-12-08T10:43:00.000-05:00

With Photoshop!

Webcomicamamadrama

2005-12-07T18:44:00.000-05:00

Uh oh. Scott Kurtz got mad at the critics again.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m actually agreeing with Kurtz that there’s really no need for as much intellectual criticism of webcomics that the net provides, mainly because most of the strips I read aren’t that intellectual. Sure, it’s fun when someone points out something cool or unnoticed about Penny-Arcade or 8 Bit Theater but ultimately this is pretty lightweight material that doesn’t really require a whole lot of analysis. Now something like Gunnm, Berzerk or Sandman? THERE’S something for the comic nerds to write papers on: go ahead, I’d probably like to read the better ones. Unfortunately, that’s a) hard work b) likely been done by someone smarter than the average net writer c) the webcomic audience is composed of nerds who like to analyze things, many of which just finished college and have to do SOMETHING with that degree. Thus a couple of people are content to pick apart the funnies.

Guess what? Surprisingly few people care.

Really, how many people read these “webcomic journals” anyways? I barely read Tycho’s posts for a few years. I’m amazed at how brittle these guys egos get as soon as someone writes about them. Kurtz for example gave waayyyy more publicity to the man who bashed him than was ever thought possible. Maybe 5-10% of Kurtz’s target audience even gives a fuck yet there’s enough insecurity there to prompt a full on reply.

Scott Kurtz, you make your money doing what you enjoy doing and in my opinion you’re fairly good at it. When you try politics of anykind though, you end up looking like an insecure jack ass. If you’re so concerned about webcomic drama just ignore it like most people who read comics. Be the bigger man. The strategy is counter-intuitive for the internet generation which has become used to the instant and public reply, but it’s the best way to avoid all of this.

Oh, and as for the guy complaining about the complainers. How does it feel to be complained about by the guy who complained that you complained about him? Downright meta ain’t it?

So yeah, all of you people suck. Go back to drawing pictures with word bubbles.

Yes, I was totally lacking in subject matter today. The top 15 film list for 2005 is coming sometime or other depending on how I figure out how to write another 1200 words about Jamaica fuckin-shoot-me-why-did-I-choose-this-movie Inn.

Black People, Asian People, White People

2005-12-06T12:22:00.000-05:00

Boondocks report Episode 105

Getting Samuel L Jackson to guest star on this show (as a white guy acting gangsta with Charlie Murphy’s Bush relative no less) was a genius move and I approve of the more storyline oriented direction the show’s going towards as opposed to let’s pick a topic like hoes or how black people defend R Kelly. The show really makes a lot more sense as African-American anime than as a topical humor based show because animation’s production time just can’t rollover quick enough to be relevant. Sure you can slide in a FEMA joke but when Jon Stewart can rip into things daily, than you kinda lack that edge. Best moment of the show? Riley hanging up on Tom in prison.

Memories of a Geisha unites China and Japan in mutual hatred of white devils.

Well kind of. Japan is justifiably pissed that one of their national icons (high class prostitutes) are being played by their historical enemies just because they all look the same to white people. China meanwhile is mad that somewhere a Chinese woman is pretend fucking a Japanese guy which is somewhat less rational but I’ll let it slide. The point is this: America has probably made another bad movie and the two nations should finally be able to find some common ground over this which can only bring good. I say let them remake Gone with the Wind with Asano and Faye Wong and fill it with anti-American slurs. That’ll teach the pale bastards.

Top 10 season has begun

Be forwarned, I will be uploading list upon list of things that I think rocked and sucked this year. Hopefully my first list will be done tomorrow but all things considered, the 3000 word take home I have my take first priority.

Jay-Z, Oldboy and the Fantastic 4

2005-12-05T16:13:00.000-05:00

Jay-Z on Cover of Rolling Stone magazine

It’s really hard to hate Jay-Z. I don’t know if it’s true or if the man has a great publicist but every time I read an ever so rare interview with the man he always seems to back up the effortless cool that he exudes on stage. Hiphop loves to mythologize its greatest artists and while 2pac undoubtedly still leads the popularity race thanks to his Bob Marleyesque martyrdom and his 10 thousand posthumous releases, Jay-Z has pretty much become my personal favorite Hiphop image/icon. After all, is there a better story than an 80’s B-boy who dreams of becoming a rap star only to nearly lose his life to the drug trade before not only becoming the best rapper alive but also one of the most successful businessmen in the music industry? Rags to riches indeed. What’s even more remarkable is that he’s managed to keep his ear to the streets and ultimately silenced all of his critics. Sure backpackers hated in 97-00 but in retrospect backpackers were wrong about everything. Now that he’s ended his longstanding feud with Nas there’s nary a hater in sight, only those who think he’s overrated which is pretty much the best you can hope for in the bitter field of Hiphop fans. Anyways, the article is a great read and certainly worth searching out online or in a newsstand.

Oldboy re-appreciation…and remake hate

I saw Oldboy before I started blogging so I never quite got the chance to gush about how great a film it was. Well I saw it again yesterday and I must say that it really ranks up there with the best movies of the past few years. It’s the easy obvious choice for the best film I’ve seen this year and I may give that nod to a spoiler that I saw at Fantasia but it’s certainly the best film of 2003-2004 whenever you consider that it was actually released (damn slow distribution…). Obviously since everyone thinks its so cool, Hollywood MUST ruin it with a shitty remake, a process I’m angrily against. While I have nothing against slated director Justin Lin in theory (I heard Better Luck Tommorow is good) there really is no reason to turn a perfectly good movie into a Nicholas Cage vehicle… although the Bollywood remake could be intriguing if only for the sheer hilarity.

They’re actually making Fantastic 4 TWO? WITH THE SAME GUY?

Sweet Odin’s nostrils, is Hollywood is retarded? That’s all I have to say on the issue of Fox having zero pattern recognition as to the absolute shit that Tim Story produced on the last fantastic 4 film? Not to mention Taxi? Seriously, it’s like Hollywood WANTS us to avoid their movies. It certainly doesn’t take a genius to figure out that this guy just made not one but two absolute stinkers and it might be a good idea to put him out to pasture or at least downgrade him to something a little less visible. Then again, he probably made them on the cheap, saved the studio a gang of money and thus was profitable which goes to show that in Hollywood the almighty dollar rules all.

EDIT: Turns out that bitch made 350 Million which explains why they're using him again...and does nothing to dispell my point although I'd like to send an extra special fuck you to whoever supported that bullshit first movie.

Canadian politics, hippies and Hiphop

2005-12-04T14:26:00.000-05:00

Dear Hong Kong...and Canada incidentally

Please don’t bother with the Democracy marches. It’s not worth the soles of your shoes. K thx. Seriously though, while 50K Chinese citizens are marching for the right to vote (and to party incidentally) I’ve got 2 elections in the next 2 months and everyday of the campaign makes me sicker. Stephen Harper in particular has proven himself to be pretty much the antithesis of all I believe in and the fact that this guy might actually run the country I live in raises bile in me. Hell, in the past two days alone he’s promised to get rid of gay marriage (why?), re-enforce outdated drug laws (idiot!) and cozy up to Bush (fuck that shit!). Of course the alternative being a bunch of lying Liberal party weasels doesn’t help even if it’s the lesser evil. Oh and let’s not forget the separatist option which will prevent a majority government anyways to minimal gain for Quebec: I LOOOVE that one. Hell, even the left wing NPD doesn’t really do much for me nowadays outside of Jack Layton’s frightening resemblance to Charles Foster Kane.

Please click on that Layton thing. I had to upload it and everything.

Seriously, at least all China does is allow toxic waste to run in rivers and exploding mineshafts. If that means the country can produce quality filmmakers than I think I’m considering a move to Beijing. Or more realistically, I’ll end up voting for the lesser evil or whatever will hurt Harper the most.

Rest in Peace John Lennon

4 days from now will be the 25th Anniversary of John Lennon’s death. In addition to being the best writer in the best band in Rock history (sorry Paul) Lennon was a great man of admirable politics and spirituality. I may dislike hippies, martyrs and icons but Lennon transcends that. RIP

Happy Birthday Jay-Z!

Today’s December 4th and thanks to the wonders of remixing I can smoothly segue from Lennon’s death to Jay-Z’s birthday. Isn’t that special? It’s weird to think that it’s been 2 years since Jay-Z’s last “real” solo album. Due to Hov’s cameos on damn near any beat of note in the past year it kind of feels like he never left. After all, between recording dear summer, cosigning Jeezy’s Go crazy and squashing his beef with Nas, the man’s been in the spotlight more than most active rappers! Still, if I was a betting man I’d say we’re getting a new Jay album this time next year. Trust me.

LL Cool J is hard as Hell! Battle anybody I don’t care who you tell!

Best opening lines ever? Not necessarily but pretty damn close. LL Cool J’s rap career hasn’t exactly been a very pretty thing for the past 10 years. Despite the occasional mixtape track where the man out raps pretty much anyone on earth, fans have been subjected to awful middle of the road albums, crappy comeback attempts, way too many slow jams (even by LL standards) and last year’s shitty Timbaland club track. Luckily, uncle L’s career seems to be on the up and up thanks to 2 new tracks that leaked online proving that not only the man can still rap, he can still kill it. The first one is Watcha Want featuring Freeway. Now Free is usually known for his rather excited demeanor but the man sounds positively thrilled to be rhyming with LL on this track. Cool J meanwhile keeps up flawlessly and the tag team rapping just goes to show you that when rappers actually collaborate instead of just throwing each other verses via e-mail, the results are that much better. Track number 2 is LL and Santana (the rapper not the singer) which is pretty much self explanatory. These tracks got me thinking that a Santana style (the singer not the rapper) album from LL where he collaborated with young emcees on each track would be ill as fuck right now. It would keep him on track and focused. Who knows…maybe it’d be the first time an LL cd would be worth scratch since 95’s Mr Smith.

Until then, both those tracks are available here

Lady Sovereign live in Montreal

2005-12-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

Read closely. What you are about to experience is a wigga moment: a moment where a perfectly rational music fan and white person has a total lapse of judgment and finds himself unable to judge if seeing a rap show involving crackers is a good or bad idea. It’s not a pretty sight.

Truthfully, I had a bad feeling about the whole thing. A black cat crossed my path the day before and I had serious apprehensions about the quality of a 19 year old female British rapper’s performance. I mean, I don’t like white people rapping. I’ve only recently accepted that British people can kinda rap and I CERTAINLY don’t think women can rap. Yet for some reason (IE: she’s kind of hot…) my brain couldn’t put those things together and I still ended up going to a god damned Lady Sovereign concert. Hence the wigga moment. Things would get even more complex as ticket prices were soon revealed to be closer to 19$ than the advertised 12.50$ which is ridiculous. I’d like to say FUCK the Admission network and their “service fees”: anytime I’m paying over 20$ for a “service” it better include a fucking blowjob. Additionally, it was colder than all in hell in Montreal and timing issues relegated me to walking around outside, grumbling for 45 minutes in weather so bad my spliff wouldn’t light. Not a good beginning.

Unfortunately, things would not go up from there. I missed 90% of Cadence Weapon’s set but due to awful sound, it probably didn’t make a difference anyways. I was told the venue the concert was situated at “had an awesome sound system”. This was only true in theory: in practice what this meant was it was too fucking loud. I’m sure the sound would have been crisp and balanced for something involving instruments but as is custom in Hiphop the only thing I heard was bass pushed to the utter limits of detectable sound. This made every rap performance on that stage come off like Rage against the Machine with wanton screaming (occasionally at the sound guy in Sov’s case). At least I met Cadence Weapon which now means I’ve got physical proof that someone from Philaflava.com/forum/ is not a robot.

Nothing however would prepare me for the absolute awfulness of Ghislain Poirier, a local producer turned hipster-act. It’s at this point that I and every other rational person in the room realized that bad indie Hiphop is just dissonant, noisy beats; indie rock without the melody if you will. Fuck Sonic Youth for making this kind of noise crap possible by the way. After a painful 30 minute set including the single worst rap song about titties I’ve EVER heard, we mercifully got respite from the earsplitting beats and white guy rapping giving me a chance to see what the hell the crowd was like. Trust me when I say this: whitest crowd ever. The combination of phat-farm clad wannabe thugs and tight pants wearing hipsters was probably among the saddest things I’d ever seen. I’ve gone to wack shows before but dammit man… At least in Grime videos from Britain people seem to know what they’re doing, but this was Pitchfork’s audience in the flesh…so how the hell did I end up there? At what point did my life reach a stage where being here was a viable option?

Then…there was Sov. Truthfully she rapped quite well for a 5’1 British white girl but the crowd, the sound and the overall exasperation killed the experience. At this point, unless you’re a legend with a well regarded stage show (De La Soul, MF Doom, etc) or a must see up and coming act with confirmed stage presence (Brother Ali) I think I’m officially too old for live Hiphop of any sorts. It’s just not an enjoyable experience and the amount of effort put into most rap performances seems minimal. The grime stuff like Chi-ching and random WAS cool though so I’ll be sure to check out and actual Grime night if ever I’m in Britain. The environment will probably be more conductive towards enjoying myself, if only because British people are habitually tanked.

Luckily, the night wasn’t a total waste. We got drunk and stoned later. But that’s another story.

Politic with rappers: 2 end to end burners

2005-12-02T11:33:00.000-05:00

DJ Thoro – Ghostface Killah and Raekwon – The Prelude to Fishscale and Cuban Linx 2

New mixtape on the way from Ghost and Rae hyping up their respective albums and it’ll certainly tide you over until their highly anticipated 06 albums drop. The mix collects exclusives, recent overlooked guest spots (Sheek Louch, Lil Flip, Planet Asia, etc) alongside some choice mixtape/side project cuts and some back in the day joints. Glad to see personal back in the day banger dem want war by Rae get some shine: it’s a real shame that dude cursed his career with unfocused solo albums because he’s always been able to deliver a proper banger if given the correct backing material. Rza has claimed that Rae could have been very successful had he been Puffy’s artist and I tend to agree: dude just sounds dope over some jiggy NYC beats. Ghost meanwhile as Pitchfork actually accurately reported transcends relevance into a state of rhyme not unlike that of Kerouak or other poet laureates of their era. If you need an additional fix he rides shotgun on the recently released Trife da God album which is competent if not entirely memorable outside their collaborations.

Kankick – Seeing Spirits

Kankick is Madlib’s weirder, somehow more weed addled, cousin and an excellent and underappreciated producer in his own right. Following up last year’s Acid Massive Musical, Seeking Spirits is cut from a similar cloth, coming off less like a real album and more like something the stoned cali-producer made to entertain himself and that we’ve been privileged to get a copy of. Composed of esoteric beat loops, scratches, skits, spacey interludes and a couple of raps, Kankick continues to be the go to guy for background music to stare at the wall to. The day Madlib, OhNo and Kankick get together to make music together will be one hell of a day and with 2006 heavy with Stones Throw releases it’s only a matter of time before these guys end up in a studio one afternoon and put out some soul-jazz album with Dudley Perkins.

Cunninlynguists – A Piece of Strange (review)

2005-11-30T11:03:00.000-05:00

I’ve been a big fan of the Cunninlynguists for quite some time and I’ve always maintained that their QN5 bredren were indie artists too commercial for the underground but too smart for the mainstream. If Tonedeff is their Kanye and Pack FM their Redman, Cunninlynguists definitely fill a spot between Outkast and the Alchemist, packing Dungeonesque lyrics over soul sampling beats yet never getting the proper recognition. Their first album Will Rap 4 Food was a nice sub-indie release, unfairly overlooked for being too battle oriented, but it revealing itself to be an interesting if uncompromising record for the group. The sequel Southernunderground turned the focus up a notch with minimal battle bravado but lots of concepts both fun and serious. The addition of extra lyricist Mr. SOS seemed to fit the crew well and in general the record was well received though dodgy distribution and marketing prevented it from finding its audience. Two years later however, things have changed once again and we find the Cunninlynguists on the brink of a name change (to A Piece of Strange), a career re-orientation (as a production duo without SOS) and their darkest and best produced album yet. The group’s revolving door membership now has Kno in charge of all production and Deacon doing all of the hooks and lyrics along with side-group affiliate Natty and some guests; this new dynamic adding considerable seriousness to the project. Not an easy listen, A Piece of Strange is a bold move but mostly a successful one and certainly one that bodes well for the group’s future.

Let’s make no bones about it: A Piece of Strange is a concept album. It’s thus difficult to evaluate outside those confines. Although the plot far from literal and easy to follow (I’ll figure it out soon enough…) we see character sketches of a fractured life or lives, ranging from drug dealers to users to a racist cops going to hell. Far from the humor tinged material of Southernunderground which shifted from internet jokes to 9/11 narratives, the album is proudly “operatic” with all the benefits and pitfalls associated with this kind of material. The character(s)’s story is being told to the richest instrumentation and vocals the group have ever put together as Deacon has turned into a Pharell/Nate Dogg quality hook singer with lush funk inspired vocals and for his part, Kno elevates himself to hip hop’s best kept secret with beats that aspire to Kanye West territory only with a rougher less compromised edge. The music on the album recalls the kind of moody sample work exhibited by DJ Shadow only with a 70’s album/prog rock-sensibility and like the albums he samples from, the high ambitions are both a blessing and a curse. On one side, it’s tremendously well done and I’d be surprised to find anyone who can straight up diss this album but on the other hand like the AOR it’s based on, the album is a little pretentious. Ideas like a conversation track between a soul and St-Peter are just a little over the top, although I guess in the 80’s rock that has become 00’s Hiphop, I guess it’s preferable to be The Cunninlynguist’s Genesis than Young Jeezy’s Poison or at least equivalent to Kanye’s Queen (yes that’s a gay joke).

If one accepts the heavy life examining concept however, the album is tremendous. Track’s like Since When and the album highlight Hellfire explode with energy while downtempo material like where will you be, damnation and remember me are positively hypnotic calling attention to Deacon’s singing chops and Kno’s layered smoked out soul. Perhaps the single best moment comes at the album centerpiece Beautiful Girl: tons of “weed as a woman” tracks have been committed to wax, but this one stands as one of the catchiest and most subtle since the Clipse’s Gangsta lean. Tracks like these show potential for Kno to sell his beats to everyone from Redman to Ludacris to Young Jeezy (who would body Nothing to Give). If rumors that the group is planning to undergo a production career under the new moniker (A Piece of Strange) including collaborations with Witchdoctor (!!!) then we’re in for a treat. Guest lyricist Natti neither hurts nor saves the project sounding pretty close to Deacon vocally but adding a little extra diversity to songs that might falter as straight solos. If anything the project begins to feel oddly bipolar after several listens as while the beats and concepts are undoubtedly the most uncompromisingly bleak of their career, they’re also the most layered and likely to get praise if someone (anyone!) of importance gets off their ass and signs these guys. Longtime fans of the group may be shocked to hear the new, direr direction they’ve gone in but ultimately, the market for the internet-Pharcyde/Souls of Mischief stuff they were doing before was shrinking by the minute and the change is probably for the best. If anything they’ve delivered their third successful outing and have proved that whoever goes out to buy their beats will be in for one hell of a bargain.

4.25/5

The People’s update

2005-11-29T14:17:00.000-05:00

I have survived my grueling 4 night work-weekend though it nearly cost me 2 fingers which suffered deep lacerations. I wish I were joking. This makes typing slightly more difficult but I will persevere with this blog because you¸ the people demand it and I am forever your devoted servant.

I came home last night high off the thrill of a completed week (and marijuana, high off marijuana) to watch the newest Boondocks episode only to find that that accursed scoundrel Siu Fung beat me to the punch. Luckily we both noticed different things about the episode as I didn’t see the big deal about the Bruce Lee reference. Obviously, like most non-Bosnian Caucasoids, Chuck Norris was my childhood hero.

Please click on that Chuck Norris link. You won’t be disappointed.

Personally I found the episode to be absolutely hilarious and undoubtedly the best one yet. The Blind Nigga Samurai segment set to a classic Wu-Tang track alone validates the entire series’ existence. Poisonous paragraphs smash your phonographs in half is still one of the illest opening lines ever put to wax and Riley is still the funniest character. Bring in Caesar for season 2 though!

In other news, I may or may not be reporting on Def Jam’s newest artist’s first Montreal concert this Friday. This depends entirely on my roping up at least 1 person to shell out 12.50$ to see a white British girl rap. Montreal cats can expect online instant pestering on the subject.

WTF is a "Go team-" WHAOAH!!!!

2005-11-27T11:13:00.000-05:00

The Go Team is something very good apparently, not unlike a piece of candy in the eyes of a 3 year old. I’ve become particularly enamored with their full length cd Thunder Lightning Strike and its mix of ultra-compressed Madlib-like sound quality and funky uptempo break beat music. This description makes The Go-Team sound like an instrumental Hiphop project and indeed it sounds like one, albeit an extremely “happy” one, but the truth is they’re actually an Indie rock band and are marketed as such. Go figure, this stuff would kill with the Def Jux/Stones Throw crowd but it’s never been marketed to them. Just another reason to break down the walls of music segregation and get this stuff played on your indie Hiphop mix shows if you ask me, but of course no one did.

Regardless, here’s their Ladyflash song in mp3 format. If this doesn’t invoke grade school flashbacks then you probably had a wack childhood or something. I’ll probably be back to update again tomorrow but then again since Videotron is slowly killing me I might not.

Get well soon Dilla

2005-11-26T12:10:00.000-05:00

This is a pretty serious update in my opinion because I hate to see talented people in unfortunate positions, but recently pictures have circulated around the internet of acclaimed Hiphop produced J. Dilla performing in London in a wheelchair. Anyone who’s followed the man in the past year knows he had to be hospitalized a couple of times and rumors were that he might take a turn for the worse. Luckily, that wasn’t the case and he even managed to produce a whole instrumental album in there, but the pictures of him that have emerged since haven’t pointed towards a man in the best of health. These latest shots are certainly worrisome, but once again, we’re being told not to panic:

"He has been sick for some time (his kidneys, no transplant needed THANK GOD !! ) and now he's on the come back. His health is improving daily - the LORD has truly blessed him. His NEW album THE SHINING is due out Feb 06 on BBE. Also a self titled album DILLA due Nov 06 featuring artist D’Angelo,Q tip,Common, Talib, and few more to name later. So the future looks bright for D - keep him in your prayers, he's working hard."

Good to know that it’s nothing that he shouldn’t recover from, but I’ll keep Dilla in our thoughts because lord knows he’s one of the more talented musicians of our generation and this is coming from someone who’s not even a huge fan of half his work (IE: anything “neo soul”, fuck you Common): the other half is that good.

If ever you’re looking for some of the man’s better work, his Welcome to Detroit album is a good starting point, as is his Jaylib collaboration with Madlib. His work stretches way back though with beats for cats such as Tribe and the Pharcyde as well as Slum Village, Busta Rhymes and De La Soul. In fact, here’s my favorite track he’s done for the later: Stakes is High which possibly stands as the best angry rap song of all time. And this is from a group of hippies. He’s that good a producer.

Winter Must Be Cold

2005-11-25T10:55:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s officially too cold to use a bong outside.

I never thought I’d determine seasonal changes using that frame of reference, but never the less, the fact remains that it’s going to be strictly spliff smoking for me until spring comes around due to the harsh Canadian elements preventing proper use of a lighter. This is bad on several fronts ranging from time necessary for preparation to larger amounts of weed wasted, but there are other advantages such as shorter smoking times in the cold. I really need to get a smoke tolerant apartment and get rid of this issue once and for all. Then again I could probably just stop for a few months which is probably what’ll I do after the Christmas season. Not before though: I’m working this Christmas, a harrowing experience from which only copious drugs and alcohol can help me recover from. The marathon started unexpectedly early with my boss dropping four consecutive shifts on me for the weekend including a detestable Monday one; a most frustrating occurrence. Regardless, complaints will change nothing, but be forewarned that updates may be sporadic in the meanwhile.

Elementsor Lebowski Rhymes!

2005-11-24T11:08:00.000-05:00

Smartasses...

Those guys at Penny-Arcade really got me; or confused me rather. At first I had NO IDEA what the hell their Elementsor saga was about. Sure the comic strip mentioning it was totally ridiculous as was the accompanying newspost but then they started this huge fucking wiki and I started to think maybe this is real. After all, the stuff didn’t sound THAT far off from anything Robert Jordan would have written. You know what I’m talking about: sprawling 900 page books of epic fantasy that are released over a 15 year period but that can ultimately be summed up to the words LOTR rip-off. My personal favorites were Riftwar by Raymond E. Feist and of course Discworld but I digress; the point is it got so big that Wired got on the case and “blew the joke” although reports indicate I might be the only one who didn’t get it. Still, in about 4 days Penny-Arcade’s fanbase somehow managed to create a HUGE fantasy world with minimal time and effort. This says several things:

I should probably quit my long delayed fantasy novel

This stuff is fucking easy.

At least geeks have a sense of humor because that wiki’s hilarious.

You couldn’t come up with a better fantasy spoof if you tried. Of course some elements are borderline retarded (Spaghetti plains?) but that’s to be expected and to be honest, I’d rather a good crude joke about this sort of thing than an actual serious instant fantasy wiki which would be just sad. I’d read through the whole damn thing but its non-linear nature prevents an accurate run through. That and I have 28 hours of work in 4 fuckin days thanks to videotron. I am growing to detesting this clerk job once again.

The Joy of Lebowski

I just felt like saying that The Big Lebowski contains the answer to all of life’s problems. I watched the recently released restored edition yesterday (complete with hilarious intro) and caught so many jokes that I’d previously missed on other viewings (was I drunk?) that I was literally doubling over in fits. I’ve previously said Woody Allen’s Love and Death is the funniest movie I’ve ever seen, well The Big Lebowski is officially in the same ballpark…man.

Busta Rhymes cuts off dreads

Wow. And it was conserved for posterity. Busta Rhymes without dreads is a weird thought. Back in 93-94 with all the Onyx looking baldheads ruling rap, Busta was that crazy kid with the long hair who could kill any guestspot. Ah well, maybe he’ll make a decent full length now. Either that or Dr Dre told him the Rasta-man look was unmarketable.

NEW RAEKWON THE CHEF

2005-11-23T11:05:00.000-05:00

Only Built for Cuban Linx Niggaz (the full title) is my favorite album…period. Let that sink in for a minute, I’m cosigning this above the White Album, Darkside of the Moon, Led Zep IV and everything from Tom Waits, Bjork, Radiohead, Nirvana and anyone else you might like. Sunk in yet? Good.

With that out of the way, you might understand that I am to say the least, hyped about Rae’s upcoming sequel album Cuban Linx II. Of course, much like the Godfather III, I’m not kidding myself as its damn tough to achieve perfection a decade after the originals (Ghost’s Ironman can be the Godfather II if you’re picky about my analogies) but I still expect an awesome album, particularly since The RZA has revealed that it’s basically his number 1 priority. Well luckily, I don’t seem to have much to worry about now that the first single State of Grace has leaked. Here’s what went through my mind as I listened to it

Stage 1: Oh SHIT, it leaked. AND it’s got a Scarface sample!

Stage 2: Wow, this is NOT a typical Hiphop single; they’re taking this shit seriously.

Stage 3: RZA could have done more than a 2 bar loop, no one’s doing that though, and this is an early leak…

Stage 4: Wait, who cares, this is awesome and Raekwon flows like crazy on this.

Yes, I am very pleased by this song and it bodes far better than say, what I heard from RZA on ODB’s never released last album or that half-assed MF Doom collaboration. I wonder if the whole album will have this tone though, it’s a lot more grandiose and epic than the original which was lot less glorifying of the drug trade. I guess that’s the influence of the ever more cartoonish rap industry though, and if anyone has a right to do huge Mafioso epics its Wu-Tang.

Now download the damn single here.

EDIT: I think I listened to this damn single 50 times today while working on an Andrei Tarkovsky paper. It just keeps getting better.

Racial, sexual and political humor watch

2005-11-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

Boondocks watch

The Boondocks continues to be the funniest cartoon on TV. Riley’s character in particular has been stealing the show with his outrageous yet oddly on point rants. Whether the subject is peeing on girls or hoes, he just gets it. The animation is great too with the anime look continuing to serve the show well. The only point of controversy among fans seems to be the voices. Regina King certainly voices the boys with a higher pitch than anyone expected but it’s really nothing weirder than say…Southpark and anyone willing to give it a chance would probably adapt fairly quickly to the vocal qualities. The guest voices meanwhile continue to be hilarious, Crystal and particularly A Pimp Named Slickback stealing the show this week. Outstanding stuff.

Sexylosers watch

Finally! One of the web’s funniest yet least updated webcomics has finally added a new entry. Not the greatest strip Hard’s ever done but certainly a welcome surprise after a couple of months of droubt. Here’s looking forward to more because if there’s anything I like, it’s humor with boobies. Wish that there were comics in this vein online but alas most e-cartoonists seem busy mimicking Penny-Arcade without the non-gamer relevance or 8 Bit theater without the clever writing.

Daily Show and Colbert Report…non watch

Guess there’s no shows this week. I guess this gives me the chance to finish up that Symphony I was always putting off. (5 points to anyone who recognizes the reference).

An ode to the genre director

2005-11-21T12:34:00.000-05:00

Auterism can be a real bitch. Sure it’s a great way to elevate our favorite directors to superstar status and no one doubts the cohesiveness in the body of work of say, Stanley Kubrick, but it’s had some virulent side effects that no one seems to notice. In addition to empowering several generations worth of balderdash faux-deep interpretations of Hitchcock films (hint: he just wanted to entertain), auterism has gone from promoting the idea that a director could have a cohesive vision within genre film to relegating said genre films to the bottom rung of the filmic ladder; even more so than they were before. After all, how often do you hear the words it’s just a popcorn movie, from misinformed pseudo intellectuals trying to justify their trip to the multiplex? This in turn causes perhaps one of the gravest sins in all of film: Genre directors overreaching. From Kyoshi Kurosawa’s Bright Future to Gore Verbinsky’s recent Weatherman to anything Guy Ritchie has done post-Snatch; cinema is full of talented genre directors who swing and miss in an attempt to gain some sort of elitist credibility. Now I’m not saying that directors should be boxed into one thing, but common sense is the key: when your best picture is a pirate epic, maybe you shouldn’t go for the melodramatic non-indie. I mean, imagine if Ray Harrihausen decided: “well, I’ve conquered stop-motion, let’s see if I can do a musical!” It wouldn’t have been pretty.

Guy Ritchie is an example of the gravity of this situation. Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking barrels are widely acclaimed and are personally some of my favorite genre movies in recent years (no really!). That said I wouldn’t trust the man with camera for any other purpose than to film British people doing illegal things. His output since has been rancid. I sat through his Madonna movie in disgust and was glad that he returned to gangster movies for his upcoming Revolver, but unfortunately, it got laughed out of Toronto so I’m assuming he lost his groove or his mojo trying to be serious. Back in the day, things would have been different though: Ritchie would have been cranking out 2 gangster movies a year and they’d have been GOOD. That’s how directors like Seijun Suzuki, Kinji Fukasaku, Alfred Hitchcock, John Ford, Jean-Pierre Melville and Sergio Leone made their living. There’s certainly nothing less honorable about making films like those guys did as opposed to another Sundance-movie. Plus, all of those directors GREW from their genre films into mature, post-genre cinema and it WORKED because they had the necessary experience. Imagine if Hitchock tried to do The Birds at 40 years old? Pretty bad vision huh? Plenty of modern examples support this theory as well: Takashi Miike has gone from a straight to DVD maverick to the man who made this year’s greatest experimental film in Izo. Tarentino continues to twist genre to his particular liking turning his Kill Bill saga into a Leone sized epic. Scorcese is doing another gangster movie imbued with so much personal style it’s unfair to even call it genre. I rest my case.

The fault doesn’t lie solely on the directors though. Hollywood’s blockbusters have drained the budget for smaller, more nimble genre films as well and film-schools have spent years hammering the idea into future directors heads that anything without a grand artistic concept is a waste of celluloid. Additionally, audiences certainly demand more complex films today and cut and paste gangster movies, westerns, spy stories and their ilk aren’t the sure bets that they were in years past. But if there’s anything to be learned from Japan (and trust me there is), it’s that if you update the formula, they will come. And that way Hollywood can compensate for it’s Annus terribilis and I can get a decent British crime flick.

Grab bag of comments

2005-11-20T16:39:00.000-05:00

Torture muthafugga!

Method Man
Yeahhh, torture motherfucker what?
[Torture nigga what?]
What?
I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost
with your ass cheeks spread out and shit
Right?
Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there
for like a half hour
Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss

Raekwon
[Yeah, I'll fuckin
Yeah I'll fuckin lay your nuts on a fuckin dresser
Just your nuts layin on a fuckin dresser
And bang them shits with a spiked fuckin bat]
Ooooohhhh
[Whassup? BLAOWWW!!]

Method Man
I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin pull your fuckin tongue out your fuckin mouth
and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLAOWW!!
[I'll fuckin]

Raekwon
[I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin hang you by your fuckin dick
off a fuckin twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker]

Method Man
I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin
sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you…

The US government’s position on torture, to throw their own words back at them is pure flip-flopping. The current position seems to be something along the lines of: torture is an inhumane act and we do not torture. Incidentally we will NEVER sign an anti-torture bill. And they wonder why there’s so little trust in them…say one thing and go right on ahead with the opposite in hidden east-European prisons. Talk about hypocritical. Personally, I think that not only this ban is extremely necessary, but it should almost certainly be reinforced to provide harsher penalties, particularly in regards to the Cruciatus curse.

Kyoshi Kurosawa…you disappoint me

I didn’t actually get to see the whole film so I didn’t think it right to write a full on bad review, but boy, Kurosawa’s Bright Future kind of sucks doesn’t it? A boring look and pointless alienated slackers shot in DV, it just kind of plods along without much of a point to it. Unless you really care about seeing Asano in a tight colorful shirt, skip it.

Mp3 sorting update

I’ve managed to sort everything except my psych-rock singles and couple of black jazz records. It has been harrowing.

Al-Zarqawi may be among dead in fight

Yahoo reports that they MAY have killed Al-Zarqawi. Good reddens I say, any human being who sends people to blow god damned weddings is a monster indeed. Obviously this will do little to stem the tide of attacks in Iraq, that would require proper social services AND a reduced American presence, but it’s always good to knock down a figurehead.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005-11-19T11:12:00.000-05:00

The Goblet of Fire has exactly two things going for it. First, the cast is pretty much perfect by now and the actors literally draw us into the world, like it or not. Second, it’s a Harry Potter movie and that means there’s a going to be a fun, semi-serious story that’s pure escapism and that’ll leave you awaiting the next one. Unfortunately, while all of the previous films had these traits, they also had qualified direction and pacing, something that Goblet of Fire lacks. I hate to be the one to say it (well…others have said it) but Mike Newel is the first director to fumble on the Potter series and the producers would do well to find someone else next time around. It’s not that he fucks it up per see, The Goblet of Fire is a fun movie and I enjoyed it, but it’s a definite step down from Columbus or Cuaron’s focused and thoughtful interpretations. The Goblet of Fire basically coasts on the character development in the previous films and uses it as an excuse to turn into Harry Potter goes to the OC, falling prey to allsorts of teen melodrama. I understand that this is actually part of the book but the fact is it was badly put to screen. I don’t object to its presence so much as its lack of execution. There’s a better way to handle a ball sequence than a 30 minute interlude that bogs down the film and turns it into Degrassi with wizards. Nice shou out to those who hated their proms though, but that credit goes to J.K Rowlings.

If anything, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire makes me want to start reading the books for real this time: all of the stuff I did like seems to come straight from the source and all of the boring or miscalculated stuff is cinematic in origin. To put it in perspective, Azkaban left me with a fairly magical feeling; it handled character growth deftly and completely pulled me into the world. This time around, I felt like smacking the narrator for being so inefficient at bringing me into the world. I mean, Voldemort comes back: that should be a big deal but in this film, somehow it’s not. Its little things like that which make The Goblet of Fire a muddled affair. I’ll still go see the rest of the series, but PLEASE guys, sign Cuaron again. Or at least someone who has a grip on where this is going.

Touch the Sound

2005-11-17T10:33:00.000-05:00

A film on an artist’s interpretation of sound by a director who excels at shooting beautiful images can either be a stunning combination or an unfocused union. Thankfully, Touch the Sound is far closer to the former than the latter. Following the world’s premier solo percussionist Evelyn Glennie (who happens to be deaf) across the world as she experiments with musicians from Germany, New York, Scotland and Japan; Touch the Sound is a hypnotic and informative documentary from Thomas Redelsheimer, the man who last brought us Rivers and Tides.

The most fascinating parts of the film are those dominated entirely by Glennie. An enthralling subject and an incredible overachiever, she really makes for a great subject and captivates whether in her impromptu creative sessions or her discussions on how sound affects her despite her ailment (hint: she doesn’t consider herself handicapped). The documentary is equally balanced between her music itself and the life that surrounds it and all in all, does a nice job of balancing both. First, the visceral power that she achieves through percussion is shown throughout several locals whose acoustics incidentally make for intriguing cinematic settings and after sees her as she does everything from help an equally deaf student at her old school to visiting her old home. Throughout all of this it becomes hard to consider Glennie as anything less than singular; it almost makes me feel bad for all the artists I see at my local university whom seem to be trying so hard to be different when people like her just…are. It’s a credit to the power of her art and to the director, who for the second time has chosen intriguing artists and has shown them as warm complex individuals rather than simple oddball eccentrics.

While Glennie is fascinating, the film does have a few slight flaws. Since the movie consists of her either playing or talking and one can only take so much footage of either, the rest of the visual track features Thomas Radelsheimer’s interpretations of the sounds that surround us all: basically, shots of anything that makes noise. While most of these images are absolutely stunning and proof that he’s an extremely talented cinematographer, after a while they begin to feel “tacked on” and distract from the main subject at hand. For this reason, Rivers and Tides felt like a more natural project since Radelshimer just had to point the camera at the artwork; something that’s impossible in a film based on sound. Also, the film’s pacing is a bit off with the back end revealing precious little new information and dragging on slightly. While hearing Glennie play is a delight, one wonders if there wasn’t more to say as well to keep the viewer guessing.

All in all though, Touch the Sound is an engaging documentary about an intriguing performer. Thomas Radelsheimer is 2 for 2 in his series on artists and continues to get more able with the camera and Evelyn Glennie’s music will certainly be on my list of things to check out. Recommended.

Te-lie-visions

2005-11-16T10:47:00.000-05:00

Are the Boondocks funny?

Yes they iz! The animated show on adult swim kicked it up another notch with the superb Trial of R. Kelly episode. Perfectly lampooning the masked psycho/singer, the episode had many notable moments with my personal favorites being Riley’s hilariously pissed off rant against Tom Dubois and the dance sequence at the end. Casting Adam West as the voice of the racially confusing white lawyer was genius and uncle ruckus and Grand-dad continue to entertain as side plots as well. Seriously, the show is some of the best animation on TV right now and that’s saying something considering Adult Swim’s lineup. Everyone should watch it so they can get a second season and hopefully introduce my favorite character from the comics, Caesar.

Uhhh…that was corny

What was up with the Youth correspondent thing on The Daily Show? Guys, you’ve already got the youth demographic. Who do you think is watching your show, the AARP? Actually, the guy was still funnier than Dan Bakkedahl, though not as funny as Nick Cordry (the funny must be genetic). What I object to is how contrived the whole segment was, although I guess that’s part of the joke. Still, my advice is to keep the correspondent and dismiss the segment. Make him feel like part of the gang if you will. Also, while we’re on the subject of new correspondents, I think we’ve got enough. Give us a little time to get to know them or something. It’ll help ease the not-quite loss of Colbert.

Colbert is funny!

I think The Colbert Report is finally catching its stride and is turning into a lean mean laugh-machine. Stephen is slipping up a lot less, feels more comfortable with the format and is finding a nice middle ground between his Daily Show personality and the more over the top punditry angle. His interview with Al Sharpton was particularly nice as well. Incidentally, I never really listened to Al Sharpton but he came off really well in that interview. Too bad the man has got that terrible hair, he could make a good president. My advice? Go with the fro.

Supposedly cheesy songs I like.

2005-11-14T17:01:00.000-05:00

I don’t understand the term guilty pleasure. I’m not a guilty person by nature and if I like something I like it straight up and down and proudly. The flip side of this is that I’m quite merciless towards what I don’t like: while others might sheepishly kind of like stuff from Kelly Clarkson, Avril Lavigne or Britney Spears (my technorati searches just went up!) everything I’ve heard from them ranks as a steaming pile of shit in my book. Music a pretty black and white, yay or nay issue with me and there’s really no room for kitch, camp or any other trendy excuse for someone’s favorite ban sucking hard.

That said, I like songs from artists that would be considered corny and what not. Not guilty pleasures so much as an occasional good song from purveyors of the suck or simply good artists that people don’t like. Here are a few of them.

50 Cent – Ghetto Q’ran

Before he went on to be a mush mouthed movie star, Fiddy was the rapper from Queens who just didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. His anger inducing single How to Rob incited retaliation from Ghostface (the hilarious Clyde Smith skit), Big Pun (thankfully not physically) and a swift lyrical kick in the nuts from Jay-Z (I’m about a dollar, WTF is 50 cents?). About a year later Ja Rule stabbed him in a recording studio setting off their beef. Ja’s about what…5’5 on tippy toes? It’s a miracle that 50 managed to escape the stigma of that guy who keeps getting punked. A big part of him escaping said stigma was Ghetto Q’ran. An extremely vivid description of the NY cocaine trade in the 80’s, Fiddy drops enough names to make Sammy the Bull blush. Rather than get called out for snitching though, 50 instead earned mucho street cred for the track’s Nas like descriptive ghetto narration. Of course, it also helped that the track featured the best chorus of the man’s career and boom bap drums that could get just about anyone’s head nodding. Sadly, this wasn’t a sign of things to come: people mentioned in the song got mad, he got shot, survived and mounted a massive pop comeback releasing untold amounts of shit. Oh well.

Guns N Roses – November Rain

This one is officially iffy since Guns N Roses are finally out of the pop-metal doghouse that Nirvana relegated them to. Their track record has always been 50% corn and 50% hilarious over the top genius akin to Queen and R Kelly (more on him later). This nearly 9 minute operatic single definitely qualifies for the later though, if only for the incredibly pretentious 2 minute introduction which ranks up there with Hanz Zimmer’s most hilarious work. By the time the track gets into ballad mode it’s hard to believe that white people really thought this was better and less contrived than disco was in the 70’s but the real kicker is how it somehow turns into an out of control growl-rocker by the end. That is if you make it that far, past extended bridges, noodling guitar solos and keyboards galore. Freddy Mercury would have been proud had he not died of aids right before/after the album’s release.

R Kelly – Trapped in the closet parts 1-12 (more forthcoming)

I won’t say much so as not to ruin anything. But I will say this: any man who can go from New Jack Swinger to Hiphop guest singer to Celine Dion and Bugs Bunny duet partner to overly sexed up masked loverman to accused child molester to gospel singer to 22 part Operatic R&B opera writer is worthy of respect. In 20 years we will be espousing the post modern genius of R Kelly as that of a man who was ahead of his time. Either that or he’s batshit loco coocoo insane. One or the other.

Wings – Live and Let Die

Paul McCartney is actually completely cool in my book. But a lot of people hate on the man’s post-Beatles career due to his increasingly light-weight songwriting. While it’s true that Macca’s Wings stuff wasn’t really important or even necessary, it wasn’t bad either for the most part and songs like this are still better than whatever else gets played at Half-time shows/Africa benefits/other events he’s payed to be at. Plus it comes with obligatory fireworks and that little reggae interlude part in the middle is hilariously out of place.

Music to burn cars to! (Mp3 update!)

2005-11-13T12:40:00.000-05:00

In Jarhead, (which I never actually reviewed did I? Fuck it, Siu Fung did), Donnie Darko complains about the PA system playing Vietnam music, in a hilarious denunciation of how anything can be reduced to the 60’s by boomers. This got me thinking that with all the chaos going on around the world, we’re going to need a mixtape of appropriate destruction oriented tracks to bust a cap or burn cars to. Luckily, I’ve done the legwork and collected not one, not two but FIVE tracks (and a bonus one! Which makes it like…SIX) dedicated to the fine art of rioting. Thank me later when the bourgeoisie burns.

Paris - Supreme NTM – Qui Paiera les dégats

You’d think they would have listened... This Supreme NTM song is a word for word descriptions of the Paris Riots from 2 inner city youths. The twist? The track was written in 1993, years before any of the destruction and chaos would go down. Qui Paiera les dégats (which means, who’ll pay for this shit?) includes dire warnings on how France’s social system is dysfunctional and how the whole thing is going to end up badly, plus it does so over a killer beat (this particular one is a 2000 era remix). If anyone anywhere is editing MiniDV documentary footage of this thing they BETTER use beats from these guys for the soundtrack because really, if anyone represents what went down in November of 05’, it’s the Nick Ta Mère posse.

New York - Juelz Santana ft. Cam’ron – Murda Murda

Juelz Santana has about 5 minimalist clicky beats on his album and none of them are as awesome as this bomb-squad meets Dr Dre meets Damian Marley wall of sound. Dense as all fuck with a loopy vocal sample, huge kick drums and some seriously deranged g-funk synths, the sonic molasses gives Juelz the right vibe to let off one of the more disturbing choruses this year: murda murda ma-murda murda murda ma-murda murda! His verses are alright too, but it’s Cam’ron who goes for broke with what can only be described as a nursery-rhyme as told to a rapper possessed like the kid in the exorcist. I’d try transcribing some of it but its practically phonetic scatting although the Kobe diss is hilarious (put on my Laker Jersey, then I go rape white (Number 8!)) he Dadaists would have a kick out of this…if they weren’t terrified by it.

London - Lethal B – Forward 2 (POW!!!)

Ok, Killa Cam was ALMOST scatting on that last one but someone one here is literally just making random sounds to the beat. Practically every grime emcee gets 8 bars on here and basically the objective seems to be to out-threaten the other guy in a ferocious display of lyrical puff puff pass. I don’t have the slightest idea of what anyone here is saying but I’m fairly sure I wouldn’t want to be around any of them when they were saying it. I guarantee that none of you will be able to play this one twice in a row without getting a massive headache.

Memphis – Three 6 Mafia - Body Parts Part 3

My image of Memphis is a very scary place. Imagine Mystery Train mixed with a graveyard where rockabilly and crunk artists fight it out. I’m sure it’s not actually like that, but it’s a nice image. I guess the fact that this is the third song these guys have done called Body Parts is a sign. A sign of what I’m not quite sure but it’s probably not a very good one. Over a creepy horror movie sample, the Memphis equivalent of the previous Grime lineup go for broke with Juicy J’s label dissing final verse standing out. Anything that quotes Rumsfeld (Most known unknowns) in a subversive way is fine by me.

Jamaica - Damian Marley – Confrontation

The intro to Jr Gong’s album is built on a driving rhythm and chopped up classical strings for a fairly tribal vibe that screams out I goin to war. I guess when you name a track Confrontation and include a Marcus Garvey sample as a bridge you’ve pretty much made your point without even having written a word down, but Damian Marley, as I’ve previously said, takes nothing for granted and delivers a riveting performance on this one. The rest of the album is a bit on the calmer side, but this one is all about that looting shit.

Bonus track for New Orleans: Juvenile – Nolia Clap

It’s not really a riot song at all, but if one were to be looting and/or finding in Nawlins, this would be the soundtrack of choice. Oh, and don’t bother with the boring Mos Def freestyle version that’s ACTUALLY about Katrina: the original is the only way to go.

A cornucopia of soul sounds...

2005-11-12T13:48:00.000-05:00

I’m a messy person by nature. I mean, as long as I know where my stuff is I don’t really care if the particular place that it’s lying around at the moment is the floor. If it were up to me my entire room would look something like Tony Leung’s apartment in Chungking Express, pre-Faye Wong. My computer is no different and thus, once a year I take upon the Herculean task of organizing all of my mp3s which are lying around the desktop, in Zip files, in shared folders and generally anywhere on the hard drive where there’s no p0rn. The last time I did this was when I got my Ipod but that thing was flimsy and thus the itunes inspired order quickly fell to the wayside. It wasn’t perfect anyways because quite frankly I don’t always want my stuff sorted by Artist/album etc. As I sorted album upon album’s worth of music I realized that there was a lot of stuff which I WANTED to listen to but didn’t find time to due to its placement in my stuff. Soul music in particular really didn’t fit my complete album format for several key reasons. While I’m likely to suffer through album length rock works for art’s sake since they were designed in a specific way, most soul albums I listen to (Marvin Gaye no withstanding) were conceived as a collection of unlinked songs, some of which I like, some of which I don’t. Often times the 45 RPM single was the format of choice for the music, later compiled into collections on CD and then downloaded onto my PC. This thus leaves me the Herculean task of UN-compiling hundreds of funk-soul songs and getting rid of the stuff I don’t like and keeping that which I do. It’s long, though not necessarily grueling even if by the end of a session I’m actually pretty sick of the sweet sounds of Detroit, Memphis, Philly and romance in general. Meanwhile, even if I give rock a free pass, there’s no reason that I should wait until the urge strikes me to listen to a Kinks album in order to listen to sunny afternoon or Waterloo Sunset. So what do I do? Copy those songs a second time into a singles folder? Isn’t that a waste of space? Oh the choices…

As of now I’m starting to get some sort of new system in place but it’s far from perfect

Album folders

80’s 90’s Hiphop
The main problem here is that I’m very liberal about the term “80’s 90’s” depending on the “sound”. Ghostface and Nas for example have all their albums placed here. But Jay-Z and Outkast because of their later day success get placed in 00’s Hiphop does that make sense? Probably not but I try and place all the grimy albums here.
00’s HiphopAs stated above, a lot of earlier stuff ends up in here. Plus what am I supposed to do about Grime now? Does it fit in here or do I open a new folder? All I listen in Grime is singles anyways…
60’s 70’s Folk Blues Psych-rock popBasically if hippies listened to it or it still gets play on classic rock radio, it belongs here. Not too much trouble with this one, though there’s a lot of albums that should be trimmed down and who’s good songs should go into the singles folder.
80’s 90’s 00’s Alt-Rock new wave indie etcNow this one is just way too vast. 30 years of rock music in the same folder. And is Bjork even rock music? What do I do with the 60’s sounding stuff like Elephant 6? Fuck it, I just through in everything made post 79 and hoped for the best here.
90’s 00’s Triphop instrumental downtempo ElectronicaComputer music. This one isn’t so complicated because I don’t listen to that much beat music compared to other people. God forbid I actually start listening to any dance music though.
Film Scores, Game Music, soundsSelf explanatory, but plenty of film scores include rock music. Or should be reduced to singles. Needs expansion on one front and breaking down on another.
Funk SoulExplained in the opening paragraph. Way too much filler and badly organized
JamaicaAgain, stuff that should be broken down into singles.
Then I have 3 singles folders that I’ve built up this week: Rock, Hiphop and Soul. I try and place everything in the folder most appropriate.
Now excuse me, I’ve got sorting to do before work starts…

Cultivating ill will

2005-11-11T10:36:00.000-05:00

Well at least I no longer feel guilt for downloading music now.

Compact discs (CD is an acronym?) from Sony records include a malicious program that invisibly installs itself onto your Pc, eats up hard drive space, tracks and reports web activity and generally acts like a total dick. And that’s the part it’s SUPPOSED to be doing. Additionally, installing the software opens up any windows based PC’s defenses against Trojan horses leading to viruses, pop ups, home invasion and gang rape. I’d mention how I’m never going to buy one of their products again but a quick look at the Sony Music website reveals that this record label has just about zero worthwhile acts anyways. Actually, they’ve got a shitload of people signed there and I’m not going through their roster one by one, but I’m fairly sure I can live without them now that Nas is leaving their label. Besides, if I really want something I’ll get it for free, online in a way that doesn’t destroy my system.

Newsflash to record labels: punishing the customer with a worse experience than the illegal option is a not a good way to make money.

Juelz Santana – What the game’s been missing (track by track review)

2005-11-10T11:44:00.000-05:00

Dipset is art. A contentious statement for both loyal fans who want nothing to do with that artsy shit and for Hiphop purists for whom The Diplomat’s new era rap music is the antithesis of the comfortable high-art Hiphop they approve, from neo-soul snooze fests to Def Jux noise rap. The truth is self evident however, Juelz Santana’s What the Game’s been Missing is the most interesting Hiphop album to emerge from New York this year and while it’s far from perfect, it’s got more interesting ideas in its 22 overly long tracks than nearly any other CD you’ll pick up this year.

Don’t get me wrong, What the Game’s been Missing is in all actuality a swing and a miss. Juelz clearly was aiming for this album to be important, classic and any other term you want to apply to a complete work of Hiphop but it falls short for a couple of reasons. First of all, Juelz hasn’t yet decided what he wants to be when he grows up. Schizophrenically switching from Pac influenced honesty to southern rap ignorance to post Bootcamp NY thuggin doesn’t quite work for young Juelz and a more cohesive vision would be appreciated. Secondly, this causes the album to be way too long and to run out of ideas halfway to the end: trimming 5-6 tracks would help the album’s flow immensely. Until these issues are addressed, Juelz will probably remain an artist best appreciated in mixtape form, but that doesn’t mean his more adventurous moments available only in LP form aren’t worth a listen.

To reject this album due to its weaker moments would be a grave mistake, seeing as the high points are surprisingly interesting from any way you want to look at them whether musically, artistically and as clues to where Hiphop is heading. The Intro features Juelz conversing with his 5 year old nephew. It’s a hilarious slice of life but it’s also pretty scary if you think about it: five year olds shouldn’t be yelling Dipset bitch and even Juelz realizes this. The black comedy is a dire warning about youth in the ghetto that’s hard not to take seriously in riot inflected times. By the time Juelz’ self aggrandizing album title is repeated a few times, we’ve segued in Rumble Young Man Rumble, as explosive a track as you’re likely to find in 2k5, mixing Juelz’ bravado with the kind of ghetto motivational speech that rap has been moving towards with Young Jeezy and Lil Wayne (more on them later). It’s a powerful way to start the album and lends weight to the important vibe set off by the intro. Never mind that Juelz isn’t exactly saying anything at all: the song’s very attitude carries it like Punk rock. Unfortunately, that energy and momentum is wasted on Oh Yes (Mr. Postman), a misplaced flip on the classic Motown song. Don’t get me wrong, the track (last seen on mixtapes) is smart, contemporary and an excellent look at how Hiphop can re-appropriate 60’s naivety into something sinister, but it’s completely wasted coming off such a dramatic opener. It’s a sign of things to come as stellar material is awkwardly placed throughout the album. At least, in the song’s defense it’s still one of the brightest moments on the album despite its awkward sequencing.

Shottas gets things back on track rather quickly: by now anyone who’s anyone has heard the Sizzla assisted ode to Jamaica and its gangsters but if you haven’t: believe me, this is the kind of music that will get your grandmother in the mood for murder. There in lies Dipset’s ultimate appeal: the aggressiveness is the end in itself and anything to achieve it is a viable means from Motown to Reggae to…Clockwork. Indeed, you expect sparse clicks and tocks from Tom Waits and not from Juelz, yet that’s exactly what that track offers. The lyrics range from crack to ass shaking but it’s the music which gives it the needed weight and drama turning the simple lines to something on the right side of poetic. It’s a shame that kind of click-clacky track will be reused up to four times later on the album… Kill Em brings things back to earth with a musical track more in line with what we expect from the Dips, but Juelz and Cam’ron continue to crank the energy level up to 11 and it’s hard to hate on competent material.

So after all of that…are you ready for a sensitive self-analysis? Seriously, This is Me finds Juelz back in reflection mode over a low key sonic backdrop. Acting almost as a short interlude, the song is far more honest than you’d be lead to expect after the past 15 minutes of stylized carnage but far less positive than anything say…2pac would have written. If Juelz is the voice of a new generation of African American youngsters than lord help those who oppose them because grit and determination is all that you can squeeze out of him. And that’s on a nice song. Unfortunately Make it work for You ruins whatever he had going for him on the previous track. An utterly average southern 808 track with Young Jeezy and Lil Wayne, it serves no purpose other than to showcase Juelz’ friends. It’ll probably be a huge hit but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Whatever you wanna call it is a much more natural collaboration with Diplomat associate Hell Rell over an epic piano based beat. Competent material at best again but it’s a welcome relief from the uncomfortable train wreck of the last track. Things dip back down again for Gangsta Shit though. I can’t remember who first made the statement, but I don’t think there’s ever been a GOOD track with the title Gangsta shit. The name radiates generic west coast boredom and that’s exactly what’s delivered here even if interestingly loud kick drums and Juelz’ rapping save it from a total failure. Lil Boy Fresh is far more interesting as Juelz tells a third person crime story that’s not quite Kool G Rap or Ghostface but its well done and interesting if only because of the spoken outro explaining the moral of the story. Damn America is twisted.

We’re at the album’s half way point. If you can’t tell by the amount of words I typed, it’s fucking long. He really should have trimmed it down.

Good Times is a token back in the days reminiscing track but it’s a good one. Freaky is a token club track but it’s a bad one. Juelz is much better at the kind of simple honesty on the former than the booty motivating toasting required for the later. Nothing will prepare you for Murda Murda though: 3 months after Damian Marley’s Welcome to Jamrock hit airwaves Juelz flips it as a sonically dense G-funk anthem to death. Much of Dipset’s appeal has always been in their militant gang imagery from their appropriation of terrorist and political titles (Diplomat, Taliban, The Senate) to their color coded garb. This song is an example of that machismo at work and you’ll either be fascinated or disgusted with the results. Jamrock was one of the more threatening songs to hit commercial radio in recent times but this dub version hits another level by the time Juelz is done and Cam’ron enters with his banana-fana-rama style silliness. And by silliness I mean scariness: the man somehow manages to make 5th grade nursery rhymes sound like satan.

Gone repeats the storytelling motif from Lil Boy Fresh in enough detail that I won’t break it all down here, but suffice to say it’s well written and backed by a slamming beat. Unfortunately, you know the drill and what comes up must come down with Kid is Back and Changes; the first being a terrible attempt to remake Juelz’ kiddy anthem S.A.N.T.A.N.A and the later being a bearable if sappy R&B track explaining that Juelz has a kid and he has to eat. The words are nice, but the beat just robs them of any relevance. I Am Crack brings the album back full circle with a Rumble Young Man Rumble like boast fest.

But the album just goes on.

The Whistle Song is more terrible minimalism that makes one beg for Clockwork again. Violence is interesting in its specific endorsement (seriously) of well…umm…violence and Daddy is a tender look at how Juelz is coping with fatherhood: an incredibly honest song that highlights Juelz’s endearing clumsiness with words. There’s also the smash hit Mic Check tacked on sans naughty words at the end but you know it by now and I’m tired of writing.

Juelz Santana is the bastard child of Rakim era NYC crack dealing 5% lyricism and Scarface/2Pac style emotional cries for help with a dash of southern bounce thrown in for good measure. This makes for a lot of interesting tracks ranging from damn near emo moments to purely aesthetic murder tracks, but it also makes for a mixed bag when he overreaches or spreads himself too thin. Obviously purchasing his own studio has afforded Juelz the ability to take his time and labor over his music and while the album feels a whole lot more personal than the kid’s debut, its still not the kind of polished success that he’s capable of and a little A&Ring could help him immensely. Of course, Dipset isn’t known for listening to label execs (specially not one S dot Carter) so that won’t happen, but I’ll continue hoping for the best. In the meanwhile, there’s at least a few moments on this 22 track CD that’s bound to have anyone remotely open-minded going Wow…this is really…different.

Vanguard thuggin.

Les pictures of moi

2005-11-09T10:50:00.000-05:00

Woke up late so no Jarhead review for you. If you're lucky I'll break down why Juelz Santana's album is average in a second update later. In the meanwhile, check out some AWESOME pictures of yours truly taken by my good friend Stephane Grasso. I'm really quite happy at how these turned out; they almost motivate me to get up off my ass and learn how to correctly take photographs myself. Almost. Higher resolution scans later.

Weatherman

2005-11-08T11:00:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling that Weatherman was inspired by how film students look at Gore Verbinsky. There’s no outright hate but there’s just the kind of disdain that would lead the more hostile of us to throw a frosty at him. Or McNuggets. Or a big gulp. It’s not that Verbinsky is a terribly bad director, in fact his Pirates of the Caribbean film was much better than it had any right to be though The Ring was horseshit: it’s just that like his main character David Spritz in this one, his stuff isn’t really that satisfying. That said, The Weatherman is a pretty good movie. It’s not a life changing experience and it’s definitely coming at the tail end of a style of film that’s slowly but surely becoming an annoyance in itself; but it isn’t bad. Plus it’s competently done which I guess is Verbinsky’s calling card.

Nicholas Cage is David Spritz: his beautiful wife hates and has left him, his daughter is overweight, his son is a good kid but he smokes pot and his Pulitzer winning dad is going to die before he can make something worthwhile out of his life. Oh, and people throw stuff at him because he’s got the kind of face that makes you want to throw stuff at him. Such is the basis of the feel bad film of the year: seriously, abandon all optimism all ye who enter that movie theater because it’s been a while since Hollywood sent us a real downer and they decided to do their catching up with this one. The film is essentially a series of unfortunate events separated by scenes where Spritz stares at the camera while a voice over explains how shitty he feels. Not exactly motivating but at least Verbinsky had the balls to go all out with the pessimism rather than chicken out at the end. There’s the subplot involving archery, Hello America and some other things that symbolize human nobility but even if the guy manages to escape with his dignity and human nobility by the end of the film, it’s still not enough for you to feel really good about the guy.

If you can’t tell from this review, I feel pretty disconnected from the film. I mean, it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great but most of all it was so…distant. Hollywood is well on its way to running the emotionally disconnected Lost In Translation/Wes Anderson style film into the ground with stuff like this. It was fun for a while but every other drama this year has attempted this formula and its getting mighty tired. I’m the perpetually single generation Y film student: when I say your stuff is too emotionally disconnected you’ve got a serious problem. Throw in some half hearted glitch music and quirky camera shots and you’ve got Hollywood canabalising indie cinema at full force. And I haven’t even started my Hollywood is canabalising indie article yet. Shit.

The Weatherman is worth seeing if you’re up for a downer (oxymoron?) or want to see how Hollywood can homogenize anything into its mix. It’s also worth seeing for Nicholas Cage and Michael Caine’s acting. As for reasons not to see it: well, I guess your life wouldn’t be any poorer if you didn’t which I guess sums the situation up. It’s just there: do you have any extra time and money to bother to see it?

Jarhead review tomorrow. It doesn’t suck.